Guild Wars 2

So yesterday I entered into World vs. World for the first time. Like a lot of people probably do, I jumped right in without having first studied the mechanics. The toon with the instructions was there, and I just walked past him like a real man should. I went in there to kill, not read instructions!

As I’m there trying to figure out how to work my way down the cliff to the crossed swords on the map, I’m troubled by what I see. No, sportsfans, it wasn’t a glitched mob or a picture of Obama etched into the clouds. It wasn’t the fact that I was the Red Team and all the objectives were colored green. It was WHINERS! WHINERS in the chat.

At first I say nothing about it and just try to enjoy the game. Whiner A complains about “balance.” “This is so unbalanced! OMG!” Whiner B complains about dying against 5 people. “OMG! 5vs1!” Whiner C complains about nobody having any supplies as we’re assaulting a tower. “OMG! Nobody has supplies!”

Now I know that a lot of you playing the game are kids, and you were issued football helmets and pads so that you could go play on the playground in elementary school (bunch of softies!), but some of us “older” people, like myself, us REAL MEN! Are completely disgusted with your attitudes.

As a professional troll, I played it cool at first. But as objectives went from red to green, the whining persisted and I tried to block one particular whiner in the chat. To my dismay, I found there was no option to block, but only a “report” option (fix that please.) Finally I had had enough of the nonsense. Finally I could take no more, and the troll I had put away years ago came out to play once more!

Before I knew it, people were too angry at me to be angry about losing. A couple people claimed to have blocked me. A couple of people were telling others to ignore me, I was just trolling (probably those who were never issued football helmets.) My target audience, however. The crybabies. The whiners. The Negative Nancies. The Occupy WvW chat movement! They had the exact reaction I wanted. They started crying about me and I embarassed them. When they really started to cry, I acted like they weren’t there and started to be helpful to others.

“You can link points of interest,” I said,“Try shift clicking them on the map instead of naming them. It’ll encourage folks to come help.” Then whiner A actually changed his tune and started linking places that were being attacked.

Later, it was “I’m new here. Where do I get supplies?” Folks answered the question and others learned.

Later on than that, as the chat direction changed, it was, “We have an army going to point X (linking point X) come on out and play.” What do you know? People showed up!

Then a whiner says in chat! “OMG! They’re attacking here! WUT R U GOING 2 DO W/O SUPPLIES!”

“Take this point, then we’ll handle that. But if we spread out and run around we won’t take anything.”

Through teamwork, rezzing our dead buddies, planting siege weapons, and assaulting the gate, we got into that tower, folks! Then we steamrolled everything inside. What “defense” the opposition mounted quickly jumped off the rooftops as we charged toward them.

“If you charge them, they’ll jump,” I said. And that’s exactly what they did. Some of our folks charged and died, but the other team jumped off that rooftop, and we had us a nice little victory to be proud of.

I know this is long. I know this is not my personal blog. I know that I’m no expert on how World vs World PVP works. I DO know, that nobody can win the game if nobody communicates effectively. Crying in the channel about how the game isn’t fair is not effective communication, kids.

If you know how the WvW works, you should be in the chat telling folks what they need to be doing. Tell them to buy siege weapons and where. Tell them to make sure to pick up supplies. Tell them what you feel would be a good way to win the game instead of how disappointed you are about how the win isn’t handed to you for free. Organize an ARMY! That’s the whole point of massive war games, isn’t it? It’s like Age of Empires, but each individual soldier is a real person! How can you not be excited about being a part of and manipulating & commanding armies? Laying siege to a keep? To potentially have three separate armies fighting on one map? That’s freaking awesome, kids! That’s not anything to cry about! This game has awoken my inner nerd! Embrace your Inner Nerd, kids!

Stop your crying! Man up! Take charge! Real men AFFECT the world, kids. They don’t just live in it. Be a real man. Be like me. We went on to take that keep and later formed a group to get the skillpoint on the NE side of the zone (which was bugged. Fix that, please) When I logged out, our little army had just wiped out a small contingent of the other team and went charging off somewhere else to have MORE fun.

I play games for fun, kids. You should, too.

P.S.- When I finally learn how to play the game. You toons from the other realms had better watch out. Look out for Kaineng, now.

P.P.S- To the makers of GW2. You have done an excellent job. I thought I would never have fun like we used to in the first few weeks of WoW when everybody would form raid groups and engage in mass combat. This game recreated that fun, and the addition of siege weapons & objectives multiplied it. Please don’t sell out for mass appeal.

Your pal,
Mighteous, Greatest Player in the Game

Outstanding post(s).

just want to say…

/ignore NameHere works beautifully.

good work, soldier of kaineng. your devona’s rest brothers are proud of you.

Too true, Ruins of Surmia salutes you!

I agree with the OP and by the way later at night we really got organized and held the Garrison, Arah, and almost took Dreambers bay and Etheron point.

We are only going to get better,

Saw anyone in half recently, Ser Gregor Clegane?

Sorry for your bad experience, but take this from a Kaineng WvW player since the beginning, the fact is that over the past 3 days we have had a large influx of world hoppers, and so far everyone I see in the chat with bad attitudes are people who I don’t even recognize…and in Kaineng, everybody knows everybody, this type of bad attitude didn’t even exist before people started saying

It’s been pretty disappointing, we hope we can help these guys figure out what Kaineng is about so we can return to the peaceful demeanor we used to hold. But I fear it wont ever be the same, with our new population…

PS – you remind me of my dad, his usernames were always “The Winner”