Guild Wars 2

WvW takes place from 4PM EST to 12AM EST No Exceptions
If you have more than 5 players roaming, you are zerging (How Dare You)
Roaming 1 to 5 people deep is the only REAL SKILL BASED PVP (Equalized sPvP and tPvP do not count)
If are are not from America you must PvE from 12am EST to 9am EST NO EXCEPTIONS
If your enemy does not have 166 people on the field at anytime you must log off immediately until the numbers are even.
If your enemy has an undefended keep YOU MUST NOT ATTACK IT UNTIL AT LEAST 5 or more enemy members enter the keep or Tower, if more then 5 enter they are zerging and you must leave immediately.
You must never, ever attempt to double team or otherwise impose your will on an enemy server.
Trebuchets from Stonemist keep are not allowed at all.
Golems are not allowed.
If you or someone you know is a Mesmer or an asura, they must delete the character upon entering WvW.
7 Day match winners are decided 42 hours after the match begins. No Exceptions
Taking orbs is not allowed
If your alliance is more than 1 guild, you are in direct violation of the WvW laws and will be banned.
Streaming WvW and airing your conspiracy theories, is not only rewarded its encouraged.
After 2 months the server with the least amount of wins is the most skilled, and the winner of Guildwars2
After 2 months the number #1 server in GW2 will be named the most unskilled, and will be forced to reroll to anvil rock

So it is written so it shall come to pass.

P.S. Got it off from a friend who got it off from somewhere. Make sense to me somehow from all the topics i’ve seen here.

http://www.guildwars2guru.com/topic/66611-hod-vs-sbi-vs-et-tier-of-tears/page__st__1620#entry1969498

This satire makes too much sense and it hurts my head. Where are my Teletubbies.

I’m curious as to what Anvil Rock did to get a mention.

Some of it is true, the beginning stuff.. and yes for the most part the first 72 hrs decides the winner, because after that the strongest offpeak wins.

Roaming pvp is more skill based than spvp or PVP zerging. Sorry, it just requires more fast thinking that spvp.

Agree with the OP.

Sorry. Some patch notes.

Coordination is a banning offence.

Voice coms are considered third party hacking.

Strategy,Tactics, Communication and Cooperation have been added to the profanity filter.

lol…. you made my day….

Snort.3698:

Sorry. Some patch notes.

Coordination is a banning offence.

Voice coms are considered third party hacking.

Strategy,Tactics, Communication and Cooperation have been added to the profanity filter.

This post made my day.

While i can agree there are some whines, it is difficult for anyone to say the game has no issues. Much as i enjoy the typical l2p you must suck trife that tends to come from those in the lead i would present swg as an example of why inbalances matter.

Haha!! Excellent post OP! Thanks for the chuckle

Great post lol
Thanks

You forgot unguilded individuals always represent the major alliances and the server itself as a whole in all matters. No exceptions.

Quality post

dont think any guildies should be allowed to WwW and play there.
its a casual game and they should be banned from the game if they do.

hahahahaha I almost tl:dr

Good Job

:)

-If you have a fast computer, you have to stand completely still 2 seconds out of every 10 seconds to emulate the framerate issues others might be experiencing.

Top tier post, good job.

flyhacks are a valid strategy, and there is nothing unfair about it because anyone can download and install them. if they decide they wont its their fault and they deserve the lose

transfering to a winning server is a valid strategy that proves you are superior. you have all rights to brag about your superiority 30 seconds after the transfer has been completed. all the previous weeks of being stomped and humilliated are instantly wiped, you are now a great player.
not being able to play a single second due to enormous queues does not take away said bragging rights.

You will deny night capping is an issue, and declare the other servers just need to get more coordination.
while saying this:
1) you will actively try to recruit more night shifters for your server
2) you will actively try to stop other server’s attempts at getting night shifters.
3) you will keep repeating how night capping is not an issue.

Ahh! Just as I was starting to get frustrated at all of the complaining on this forum, this brought a smile to my face!

Good stuff. Haha.

I love this. At first, the tears sustained me, however now I find myself drunk on them — passed out in a ditch full of teary tissues, gently floating away on a saline stream that will carry me to a pit of teary, whiny, despair where the crybabies suckle on the teat of a succubus named “EXCUSES”

I am sure it will be added too people always find excuses.

rofl, good to see some people have a sense of humor on here.

You forgot the most important rule of all:
If someone finds a set of jumps in the map and places a treb location that you attempted to get to once but failed, it is deemed a fly hack which obligates you to make five threads on the forum with dodgy screenshots and ten paragraphs about how that team is obviously exploiting.

These are all real laws in California!

LOL!

This is so funny because it’s all true. Not because what he says is right, but because it summarizes the self centered logic of all the complainers on here, well done! LOL

A perfect summary of the WvW forum.