Guild Wars 2

Once upon a reset, there was a norn. It was a big and strong norn, a warrior. As he usually did he traveled to the borderlands in search for a chance to let his metal meet the metal of his enemies and maybe, just maybe, earn his place in Valhalla, next to his fathers before him.
But what was that? Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Giant golems everywhere! Not just your regular golems with their slow speed and less-than-lethal damage, but supercharged team lazer explosion golems from hell that ran like the wind and turned regular people into cascades of red and pink flesh fountains that draped the landscape in their lifeblood.
The brave norn warrior now realized that, strong as he was, he couldn’t match these iron giants so he went to the bank and took a hefty loan. He went to the asuran delegation and ordered a whole heap of shiny new golems for himself. And so the brave norn warrior fought in the biggest golem war the world had ever seen.
After about twenty minutes, broke, in debt and tired of the golems, the warrior started hoping for an end to the madness. He was tired of it all and was wanting to see things go back to normal. But it didn’t end. It kept going on.
People stopped going to the borderlands because it wasn’t enjoyable anymore. Commanders stopped commanding, thieves stopped thieving, warriors stopped warring, guardians stopped guarding. The only ones who didn’t stop were the mesmers, but it’s generally known that mesmers just don’t know when to stop.

We are now several days in to an even that was , most likely, supposed to be fun, but isn’t anymore. It hasn’t been fun for days now. And that’s not just my opinion, it’s what every single person I’ve talked to is saying. Tier1 wvw is an empty wasteland without commanders, players, fights, ppt, upgrades or people giving a kitten .

So please, Anet, show some mercy! Give us back our WvWvW where commanders, in broken english, call for whales being dropped on the enemy (because it’s painful!). Give us back our fun. Please.

Can we get a day by day diary from this norn warrior ? I enjoy his tales.

Caedmon.6798:

Can we get a day by day diary from this norn warrior ? I enjoy his tales.

I also want to hear more! At least something to do while downloading TSW for some real PvE action.

Maybe one day, his tale will be told

I wonder if anyone’s made the golem/wvw connection to living story yet?

Also: Whales dropped … German commanders? Lol. We were talking about this very thing the other day on map.

And here I thought calling for Whales was unique to our commander lol

german, dutch, persian, scandinavian, it doesn’t really matter as long as w is pronounced like v in their native language. By far the best one so far was “Everyone take the whale and run!” or “Drop a whale on top of them!”
Ps. Ilya, we love you

Sometimes 4 whales get dropped, sometimes none …

Please keep up writing stories. Enjoyed your text a lot. Good point of view and precise sarcasm.