Guild Wars 2

Parent: Would you like some cake?

Child: Oh, yes please. I’d like that very much

Parent: What flavor would you like?

Child: Vanilla, please

Parent: Alrightly. Be back in a jiffy.

Cut, Cut, Cut

Parent: Aaaaaand here’s your cake!

Child: Ummm…this is chocolate. I had asked for vani…

Parent: YOU WANTED CAKE AND I GAVE YOU CAKE, YOU LITTLE INGRATE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD I WORK MY FINGERS TO THE BONE JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE SOME CAKE?!?! I SAY EAT IT A WHILE AND THEN SEE YOU HOW FEEL!!!

Child: But I no longer have a fork to eat it wi…

Parent: OHHHH, SO MR. ROCKEFELLER HERE NEEDS A FOOOOOORK TO EAT HIS CAKE, TOO!!! WHAT, EATING IT WITH YOUR FINGERS IS TOO GOOD FOR YOU, MR. HIGH-AND-MIGHTY…MR. MANNERS?!?!

Child: Well, I guess I can…it’s just a bit messy and going to be kind of difficult now to do anythi…

Parent: TOO DIFFICULT?!?! NOW IT’S TOO DIFFICULT FOR YOU?!?! FINE, JUST FOR THAT, I’LL SHOW YOU DIFFICULT…

Cut, Cut

Parent: THERE! NOW YOU ONLY HAVE HALF AS MUCH CAKE AS YOU DID BEFORE! THAT SHOULD MAKE IT MUUUUUUUUUUUUCH LESS DIFFICULT FOR YOU, MY PRECIOUS WIDDLE SNOWFLAKE!!!

Child: :*(

Moral: The cake really is a lie.

And that ladies and gentlemen, sums up the last month for Necros o/

Best post on the necro forum so far, except the one Kraag did few topics back

Thank you btw , it’s exactly what we all think.

Brutal Arts.6307:

On the one hand, limited stability, stun breaks, defensive boons.

On the other hand massive AoE condition spam and deathshroud.

Shut up and eat your vanilla.

All of it you can dodge through with your limitless vigor. Shut up and eat your own pudding.

Kraag Deadsoul.2789:

Brutal Arts.6307:

On the one hand, limited stability, stun breaks, defensive boons.

On the other hand massive AoE condition spam and deathshroud.

Shut up and eat your vanilla.

If they’d given us vanilla, I’d be happy to. But that was the point I was making. The majority of necros I’ve spoken with never wanted Dumbfire (myself included). Furthermore, Iceflame predicted in this post exactly how the current nerf scenario would play out about a month ago; before we even had Dumbfire.

The consequence is we’re now being nerfed in other areas precisely because of the introduction of this trait that very few wanted. For all the non-necros wishing Dumbfire was never introduced, we have news for you; many (and very likely a majority) of necros don’t want it, either. We didn’t ask for it and when we got it we were like, “WTF?!?! How is this in any way keeping with our lore, our design philosophy, or the promises of improving our sustain?” A few flavor-of-the-month necros roflstomping in tPvP is not representative of the majority of the necro community.

Lastly, not every necro plays conditionmancer or hybrid. Those who don’t, don’t use Dumbfire. So we’ve gained no benefit from it, but now we’re going to suffer nerfs due to the perception that this trait has made necros OP. We were just beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel of long-awaited bug fixes and improvements to the profession. Now, we’re going to get nerfed back again. All because Dumbfire was forced on us when so few wanted it.

Let’s face facts, the DS nerf/spectral nerf was heavy handed. Once per second when you’re getting focused down by 5 people who are sick of you kittenting up mid with 3 bleeds, poison and chill, combo into weakness, fear, 2 more bleeds, 3 stacks of torment, immobilize 3 more stacks of bleed, and epidemic to double it all, is not a lot.

Does it suck for power necro’s, sure. I play a powermancer (in wvw) and now I can’t just eat a backstab from one of the 100 roaming thieves with my 10% life force. You me and every other necro is just going to have to suck it up and deal with it til their little PAX tourney is done and there’s another balance patch.

Nay of the Ether.8913:

All of it you can dodge through with your limitless vigor. Shut up and eat your own pudding.

Nobody is dodging kitten when 4 marks, change to DS for enfeebling and epidemic come flying down on a point while you’re wrecking someone else.

I hope the ppl that make decisions on the necro modifications can be able to understant ur point kraag.

Oh… nvm his a adicted spvp ranger from gw1…

Kraag, that post just made my day. Thanks for making me laugh so hard, even if the truth of it is just really sad for us PVE necros.

Maybe we should send Anet another necromancer cake. A chocolate one, with a vanilla label on it.

Brutal Arts.6307:

You me and every other necro is just going to have to suck it up and deal with it til their little PAX tourney is done and there’s another balance patch.

Couldn’t agree more. I’m fully aware no change will be made to DS until after PAX. But if we say nothing and dutifully accept it as just one more cross for the necro community to bear, then no change will be made at all. So that’s why I’m raising hell about it now so it doesn’t get swept under the rug and forgotten about after their OH-so-precious-PAX-dog-and-pony-show is over.

Mad Queen Malafide.7512:

Kraag, that post just made my day. Thanks for making me laugh so hard, even if the truth of it is just really sad for us PVE necros.

Maybe we should send Anet another necromancer cake. A chocolate one, with a vanilla label on it.

You’re welcome. And I think that’s an awesome idea about the cake. Maybe even create a shell of vanilla cake around a core of chocolate cake.

To be fair, they did buff necromancers in a lot of ways that made them more more powerful without changing how they worked. To also be fair, a lot of necromancer players were begging for burning before they got it. Truth be told, I do agree with the OP that Necros are suffering for a lot of things they didn’t want, and the devs refuse to give us what they want.

Sad part is, that reminds me of my parents when I was growing up.

powermancer is that step brother who got locked up in a closet, with no cake

srsly after trying hard for a bit got tired of getting roflstomped with powernecro and swapped to guardian.

jalmari.3906:

powermancer is that step brother who got locked up in a closet, with no cake

srsly after trying hard for a bit got tired of getting roflstomped with powernecro and swapped to guardian.

ok ok, you love your guard. no problem with that. this is the 3rd time you’ve posted down with necros yay guardians in the last half hr… and i love power necro not sure what happened to you but it isn’t everybody’s story.

Perfectly said!

I really seriously wish that they would simply look at the vast majority of necro posts and give us more active defense. I would happily trade dhuumfire and a few other buffs for some simple evasion here and there or a channeled block, or anything like that, really. I don’t expect any of that to happen, but I definitely would be excited about it if it did.

And lets not forget that we also need cleave. Our DPS is rubbish in PVE.

I would be all in favor for sending them some chocolate cake as long as it had plenty of Exlax in it since it seems that some of them are so full of crap they are beginning to suffer from feces on the brain. After a few runs, they might just come to their senses and realize how bad of a idea that was dumbfire. Unless there is some progression they are shooting for and not making the community aware of their plans, how could they have not reversed course instead of making all sorts of corrections elsewhere without concerns of breaking something.?

You forgot the early

Parent: Your cake didn’t rise, let me fix that. Get’s a pen and rubs out Vanilla & scribbles in Raisins.

Also, you skipped over “Parent: Alrightly. Be back in a jiffy.”

It was more

Parent: You’ll be getting special Vanilla, that no one else has. (Hands your vanilla to 2 of the more favorite kids). Oh don’t worry, you’ll be getting a long life type of vanilla that wont taste like others cake. (Adds some chili powder to a stale moldy cake)

Parent: No one likes your chilli, let me cut the icing off your cake.

Thanks for the laugh, it was a good scenario to show what we’ve been through.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,

+1000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Thanks god I work at night with no bosses around, I laughed so hard man HAHAHAHAHAHAHA,

Thank you so much for this !!!