Lately there’s been some discussion about comparatively large guilds from higher tiers clustering on one lower tier server. I felt inspired to write a story about it, which I hope you enjoy regardless of your opinions on the matter or the server you call home. I also tried to get across every point of view at some point in the story, though my overall opinions are undoubtedly not well hidden I think the conclusion bit before the epilogue acknowledges the complication of the issue.
I also had fun writing it, so thanks to all involved for the excuse and the inspiration
Warning, long
<3
It was a warm end-of-summery day. Manchester United had just won yet another Premier League title, and their famously reasonable manager Alex Ferguson was arriving at the training ground with worries on his mind.
Sure, United were sweeping all in their path in the league again, but somehow he just wasn’t happy. Maybe it was his advancing years, but it felt like everything was just a little ‘too much’ these days.
Everything was bothering him… from the lengthy traffic on match days to even GET to the game, to the critical attitude of the Premier League crowd, to the unsatisfying tactical nature of the football itself.
Lately the metagame had become for all the players to form a human pyramid, with the guy at the top having the ball, making him impossible to tackle without committing a foul. Ferguson thought this was utterly ridiculous, but he had to admit it was effective. It had swept in from the Continent somewhere a couple of seasons ago and they’d all been forced to adapt.
Yup, something was definitely up. He arrived in his office, flicking on the tv, and was vaguely making progress on his morning papers when he was distracted by the sound of a highly excited crowd blaring from his television.
What he saw filled him with shock. It was a football match from the lower divisions – Stockport County versus Tranmere Rovers, two teams down on their luck. Ferguson never paid them much attention, but he was astonished to see players passing the ball back and forth and dribbling past each other in ways he’d forgotten even happened in football. And the score! It was a full-on thriller… 3-2, then 3-3, then 3-4, then a last-second equaliser to 4-4. He couldn’t believe it. Every match he’d played for the last few years had been 1-0 to whichever team got their insane human pyramid up the fastest!
It seemed that out there somewhere people still played football, and even enjoyed it! Sure, there weren’t many crowds – in fact the stadium looked pretty empty – but the more Ferguson thought about it the better that seemed. No queues on match day! Fewer people to please, fewer expectations to live up to.
Later that day he gathered the players. They looked at him glumly, defeated expressions on their faces.
“More pyramid practice boss?” asked the captain, resignedly. The rest of the team let out a gentle sigh and – without waiting for an answer – began to get into position.
“Not so fast!” Ferguson stopped them in their tracks. “We’re going to be trying something a little different today. Take this ball…”
He handed a ball to the captain, who looked at it a little confusedly.
“Put it at your feet. That’s right. Now… kick it to that other player”
The captain looked at him warily, as if expecting a trick. “Am I going to get in trouble?”
“Nope!” Ferguson grinned, anticipating his big reveal. “Go on…”
Slowly, as if remembering an event from years long past, the captain swung his leg through the air and kicked it to his teammate. It was a perfect pass. A shudder of delight went through him, and the rest of the team suddenly went up in a clamor of excitement.
“Can I have a go?!”
“Let ME pass it!”
“Oh god, passing the ball feels so good after all those pyramids!”
Soon the team was pinging the ball back and forth in a happy funk of excitement.
Only the captain wondered what was really happening here, and he went to talk to Ferguson.
“So… are we doing this in the European Champions League tomorrow night then? I’m not so sure it’ll work against the French team…”
“Not quite, not quite. Let’s gather the lads and I’ll explain what’s happening here.”
The players gathered around. This was the most exciting training day they’d had in years and they were wondering what it was all about.
“Everyone, listen up! I’ve had an idea. And I’ve made some arrangements. I’m pleased to tell you that you’re all now Stockport County players.”
He sat back and waited a breath, and wasn’t disappointed when a wall of confused noise erupted from the players. He raised a hand to quieten them.
“Yes, yes, that little club down the road. You just have to trust me on this, but I’m sure you’ll find yourselves very happy with the new system. Our first game is at the weekend against our old rivals Tranmere Rovers in the cup. Let’s make it a good one…”
Hyinna, Gunnars Hold
[Ub] – My Life for Alesia