Guild Wars 2

A while back, i was chatting to one of my krewe about gate theory, while waiting for cross guild meeting to take place. We talked of highs, we talked of lows and of science.

We had not always gotten along that well, but we respected one another as scholars. Being a synergist, i was emotional, expressive and interested in social groups, wheras he, a dynamist, was enamoured of energy, gates and spatial transportation. At one point i had compared him to a “grumpy faced cave bat”, but purely in jest.

Still, his commitment to science was admirable and i was moved to affection and sought to reach out in friendship and fondness, showing that bridges could be built between us and that he was a valued member of my krewe.

I gingerly gave his majestic ears a gentle and admiring touch.

Unfortunately, this was not received well. “The ears are not for fondling”, he stated firmly and no more was said on the matter. I sensed that through our different schools that great obstacles had been set between us and eventually we drifted apart, with me taking up arms in a military mist krewe and him staying to research in rata sum.

I thought to mention my experience in order to provide other asura with a cautionary warning that cross school social interactions are much more complex than i had ever suspected. I also wished to seek some solace from other Asura who have perhaps overcome the social boundaries that keep us from seeking friendship or romance among our own kind.

- C

.w.
That
Was
Hilarious

But…wait a minute. My boyfriend is Statics.

WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Panzerjaeger.7612:

But…wait a minute. My boyfriend is Statics.

WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

LOLOLOLOL

It’s <sniffle> not funny!

sigh I wish those those synergists would learn to respect our limits. Touch someones ears in public! oO

It’s not that we dynamics don’t value social contacts but we don’t hug everyone in the street. We need quite alot of time to come out of our shell and we show our appreciation in a different way.

Yeah! My mom needs to just leave me alone! My relationship is going just fine! It doesn’t matter that we don’t, like, talk or hang out a lot.

Hmph!

chronometria.3708:

“The ears are not for fondling”, he stated firmly and no more was said on the matter.

Dear C,

The ears are for nibbling on.

With warmest regards,

Ploop the Didactic, Synergetics graduate and author of the best-selling “Ploop’s Grande Bestiary – A comprehensive encyclopedic guide to the flora and fauna of Greater Tyria”.

P.S. Enter this code II I IIII I II for a 2 silver discount at any of our automated Tome Dispensary Golems located throughout Rata Sum and major Asuran trading outposts!

Those things ate my money.

This thread is fantastic.

Ears are intimate and full of nerves. Would you have squeezed your companion’s bottom, or caressed his hand? Of course not. I think you owe this fellow a letter of apology.

Tenn squeezes my bottom.

Instead of talking to me, that is.

If you think Dynamics types are stuffy and distant, try touching the ears of a Statics sometime.

I spent most of my college years doing this. Never gets old.

On a related note, as more and more Asura become adventurers and are exposed to the wear and tear of Tyria, I have seen a larger proportion of our race with damaged or ragged ears. This is a great concern to me, especially as our ears are powerful expressive tools as well as collectors of local sonic stimuli.

I think that it is high time that we broke down some of the racial reluctance to touch ears and that we made a point to take better care of these fantastic natural attributes. At the very least we need to get into the habit of keeping our ears in good order, perhaps appointing specialists in aural care, but I feel that a good ear massage can be highly stimulating to the creative mind.

It is about time that such ear masseurs or flexologists were given credence as a boon to the reduction of work related stresses and the increase of enthusiasm at the lab-space. Far from shying away from ear sensations, we must embrace them and then we would surely smile more, create more and have better relations with our peers.

Mif.3471:

Ears are boobs to Asurans

…..yeah.

Afoxi.6854:

Mif.3471:

Ears are boobs to Asurans

…..yeah.

But they pretty much are. They’re relatively sensitive, and they think that bigger is better, so….

Well the point is, you’re (not you specifically) going around grabbing other Asura’s ears.

Well what did you think would happen… one he was Dynamics and we all know how they are and two everyone knows to test the waters you caress their forehead first then as your relationship moves forward then you touch ears.

Also you synergetic types need to learn about boundaries all this needless touchy feely stuff in public should stop… why not just do what we Static types like to do and draw or paint those are great ways to express oneself… Art is a perfect form of expression

Yeah a neatly programmed golem to read a sonett for someone or a nice inequation using his/her name as a variable is still the best way to express your feeling for someone. The old fashioned ways are not always the worst.

Every peacemaker officer knows that you get attention of naugty asuras by dragging them by their ears to you by your golem then proceed to explain what must be done on her part to avoid repetitive iterations of said cycle from your golem.

Synergetics graduate, MonsterZed

The only asura who I will let touch my ears is Miss Batanga; anyone else will be introduced to a thorough thrashing- Statics style!

I would let Warmaster Efut touch my ears aaaaaall she wants

Fellow scholars!

Today i observed a human playing with a domesticated common household cat.

I will never be able to stand anywhere within 2 meters of a human ever again. Alchemy forbid if have to sleep within a hundred meters from one now without encasing my entire head.

Fellow Asura, how many of you are wearing… I can barely bring myself to say this… How many of you are wearing earrings?

Proud owner of an Ancient Karka Shell (which I envision as a trinket, not an earring) and a book, and the Eternal Alchemy forbid that I wear a repository of knowledge from my glorious auditory facilitators (although that might depend on who wrote said book)!

pdboddy.4162:

Fellow Asura, how many of you are wearing… I can barely bring myself to say this… How many of you are wearing earrings?

Shudders What kind of Asura would do such crude things to their… shudders again

Esplen.3940:

pdboddy.4162:

Fellow Asura, how many of you are wearing… I can barely bring myself to say this… How many of you are wearing earrings?

Shudders What kind of Asura would do such crude things to their… shudders again

the same ones who let their ears get all shredded… it maybe long but ugh why would you damage your ears for fashion… i blame synersmellics for these fads

catqeer.1954:

Esplen.3940:

pdboddy.4162:

Fellow Asura, how many of you are wearing… I can barely bring myself to say this… How many of you are wearing earrings?

Shudders What kind of Asura would do such crude things to their… shudders again

the same ones who let their ears get all shredded… it maybe long but ugh why would you damage your ears for fashion… i blame synersmellics for these fads

My ears are tiny… hides in a corner and cries softly

I have a solution for your immense dilemma! It is a 250 year old solution that still works! Just ask Oggy’s hologram about Taro Leaves today! http://wiki.guildwars.com/wiki/Oggy

Rilke Cadmus.6829:

I have a solution for your immense dilemma! It is a 250 year old solution that still works! Just ask Oggy’s hologram about Taro Leaves today! http://wiki.guildwars.com/wiki/Oggy

Thankyou for this link, I wasn’t aware of this piece of lore as I never played the original guildwars. I feel sorry for oggy, being teased for his small ears.

Personally, I would love to wear one of those zojja hats that rests on the ears….but they make my character bald and I rather like my hair.

Rilke Cadmus.6829:

I have a solution for your immense dilemma! It is a 250 year old solution that still works! Just ask Oggy’s hologram about Taro Leaves today! http://wiki.guildwars.com/wiki/Oggy

I remember hearing a story from my ancestors about that, but I require no… such… primitive… method to help myself.

Each of the various professions have methods of fixing this problem,
Elementalists: Fry, shock, crush, or freeze whoever makes fun of you
Necromancers: Hide minions on you, disguised as fake ears. Excellent for sneaking corpses past security golems
Mesmers: Illusions, what else?
Thieves: Steal some from someone else
Rangers: Convince your animal friends to roost there, or sic them on whoever taunts you.
Engineers: Prosthesis hypersensitive ears
Guardians: Pray for new ears? I don’t know about this one.
Warrior: Crush those puny imbeciles with your hammer that is twice as big as you are!

All of these are modern solutions for an ancient problem.

Chrono,

I had no idea that you believed my ears to be majestic. Indeed, considering the previous comment comparing my face, rather unflatteringly in my opinion, to that of a small flying mammal displaying anger, I was inclined to believe you were attempting to make fun of me again.

I would also like to remind you that we were preparing for an important meeting. Ear fondling should not be the first indication of affection for a colleague, and is best left for the privacy of the quiet laboratory, not in public with others from your krewe watching. Your behaviour was inappropriate, and I sought to remind you of this.

I will, however, admit that I am flattered now that I have seen what your intentions were.

~Xell, Krewe Leader of TEK, Graduate of Dynamics, Master of Thaumokinetics, Master of Gate Theory

Well now that is settled. It should be known that I too have small ears but i rather like them small… and so has every male i have had the pleasure and displeasure of working with.

and so I personally would never put things to make my ears look bigger… besides my forehead is rather large and smooth and is far more of an attractive feature especially since it is a rather… oh look i am rambling. anyways i say not to ear enlargements you ears are perfect as they are…

My boyfriend keeps telling me to get ear-augmentation surgery, but I don’t wanna. Should I do it?

Tell him that if he wants more ears, he should date a Charr. They’ve got 4!

IagoWynne.9628:

Chrono,

I had no idea that you believed my ears to be majestic. Indeed, considering the previous comment comparing my face, rather unflatteringly in my opinion, to that of a small flying mammal displaying anger, I was inclined to believe you were attempting to make fun of me again.

I would also like to remind you that we were preparing for an important meeting. Ear fondling should not be the first indication of affection for a colleague, and is best left for the privacy of the quiet laboratory, not in public with others from your krewe watching. Your behaviour was inappropriate, and I sought to remind you of this.

I will, however, admit that I am flattered now that I have seen what your intentions were.

~Xell, Krewe Leader of TEK, Graduate of Dynamics, Master of Thaumokinetics, Master of Gate Theory

Awwwwwww)

IagoWynne.9628:

Chrono,

I had no idea that you believed my ears to be majestic. Indeed, considering the previous comment comparing my face, rather unflatteringly in my opinion, to that of a small flying mammal displaying anger, I was inclined to believe you were attempting to make fun of me again.

I would also like to remind you that we were preparing for an important meeting. Ear fondling should not be the first indication of affection for a colleague, and is best left for the privacy of the quiet laboratory, not in public with others from your krewe watching. Your behaviour was inappropriate, and I sought to remind you of this.

I will, however, admit that I am flattered now that I have seen what your intentions were.

~Xell, Krewe Leader of TEK, Graduate of Dynamics, Master of Thaumokinetics, Master of Gate Theory

Dear Xell,

I am somewhat surprised that you should have uncovered my identity from my carefully concealed words, but it does comfort me that the incident is something you still recall. Even so, I can see that my affections and appreciation are lost upon your tremendous, but dispassionate intellect.

Why should it be the most gifted of our kind are also the most socially reserved? They have surrounded their heart with a steely, unyielding bastion of logic. Can not the fires of invention be fuelled by the stirring of the Asuran soul?

Xell, If you were to stoke the embers of your creative passion, then a fire of unfettered inspiration would leap forth and those gates you work on would become more than simple tools, instead transcending into works of art. You are no mere golem, but a thinking, feeling being.

Combat Krewe Leader Chrono – Mist Exploration Division, College of Synergetics.

PS – As to the cave bat thing, well, it wouldn’t hurt you to smile now and then.

chronometria.3708:

Dear Xell,

I am somewhat surprised that you should have uncovered my identity from my carefully concealed words, but it does comfort me that the incident is something you still recall. Even so, I can see that my affections and appreciation are lost upon your tremendous, but dispassionate intellect.

Why should it be the most gifted of our kind are also the most socially reserved? They have surrounded their heart with a steely, unyielding bastion of logic. Can not the fires of invention be fuelled by the stirring of the Asuran soul?

Xell, If you were to stoke the embers of your creative passion, then a fire of unfettered inspiration would leap forth and those gates you work on would become more than simple tools, instead transcending into works of art. You are no mere golem, but a thinking, feeling being.

Combat Krewe Leader Chrono – Mist Exploration Division, College of Synergetics.

PS – As to the cave bat thing, well, it wouldn’t hurt you to smile now and then.

Chrono,

You express admiration for my intellect and yet you act surprised that I unravelled the rather trivial ‘mystery’ of your identity. As we have established, I remember the incident, and thus the name of the other asura involved. However, there were also other clues: you mentioned that you were a krewe leader who was also graduate of the College of Synergetics, and that you had left to take up arms fighting in the Mists. This narrowed the candidates to one asura I have known. The method of signing ‘C’, using the first letter of your name, merely strengthened my hypothesis on your identity. Finally, you have answered using your full name, thus providing the proof required to validate the theory.

I would also contend the point that my intellect somehow blunts my ability to be passionate. I am, as are the majority of asura, extremely passionate about my work. Indeed, the subtle interaction between the immense forces and energies required to move matter between two locations without it passing through the space between is one of the most beautiful equations I have ever had the fortune to derive.

Observing those equations made into physical form in the machinery of the gating apparatus is truly a superb work of art and not, as you put it, a simple tool. I am quite disappointed that you would think my work and inventions are nothing more than simple tools. Perhaps your constant exposure to battle has dulled your senses to the beauty that is inherent in the uncovering the subtleties in the aetheric harmonies of this world.

~Krewe Leader Xell of the Thaumotech Elucidation Krewe, Graduate of the College of Dynamics, Master of Thaumokinetics, Master of Gate Theory

P.S. I do smile when the situation warrants it. I can only assume you were too concerned with other social interactions whenever I did so in your presence.

Has Chrono fallen into shadow?

Ugh just get betrothed already.

Quick! Somebody calculate the amount of love in the air!

catqeer.1954:

Ugh just get betrothed already.

Asura do not get “betrothed”! We enter into mutually beneficial arrangements for the satiation of emotional and physiological needs with agreed-on parameters regarding the overall duration of cohabitation. Progeny are sometimes an unexpected, though frequently welcomed, consequence of these arrangements.

Zaxares.5419:

catqeer.1954:

Ugh just get betrothed already.

Asura do not get “betrothed”! We enter into mutually beneficial arrangements for the satiation of emotional and physiological needs with agreed-on parameters regarding the overall duration of cohabitation. Progeny are sometimes an unexpected, though frequently welcomed, consequence of these arrangements.

Yes a betrothal contract… that is the official word used for such documents of long term partnerships… do we really need stretch out everything we say to make us seem more intelligent. the lesser races can’t understand us even when we use shorthand. Such a waste of intelligence to go on and on. Now if you don’t mind I need to re-calibrate my G.O.L.E.M to make sure it recognizes me and not my clones. Because the eternal alchemy forbid the kitten thing recognize its master and not an illusion…

catqeer.1954:

do we really need stretch out everything we say to make us seem more intelligent.

Of course we do! How else will we communicate the breadth and complexity of our synaptic cogitations to our fellow Asura and potential long-term cohabitation partners?

Well… I suppose there was that time I tried to implement a standardized examination to evaluate intellectual capacity to be administered to all progeny, but the Deans of the three Colleges could never agree on what questions should be included in the exam. Each accused the other of giving too much weight to questions that favored members of their own College.

Pedra.4381:

Has Chrono fallen into shadow?

No, I have not fallen into shadow, but having read Xell’s reply, I have instead thrown myself into the thick of the mist war, where my passions and energy are appreciated.

I am destined to remain an Asura alone, for my martial ways have doomed me to a life of mediocrity among the bookah, shunned by most of my own kind.

I am wed to war and victories are my progeny.

Chrono, Mist Commander, Synergist and Tactician.

We each have our place in the Eternal Alchemy, and I would not say your part is any less important than mine, Chrono. It is simply different. You are, after all, an admirable asura and will easily excel in your chosen activities; of this, I have no doubt.

Excelsior, Chrono, and may your endeavours bring you understanding.

~Krewe Leader Xell of the Thaumotech Elucidation Krewe, Graduate of the College of Dynamics, Master of Thaumokinetics, Master of Gate Theory

P.S. Your work on social interactions and dynamics, whilst not my field, was most interesting. Perhaps you should continue that if you tire of the constant battles of the Mists.

Hear hear to enlightenment… may we all find our place in the eternal alchemy…