Guild Wars 2

I’m tired of running around Plains of Ashford being a 2 feet tall guardian while a that stupid charr Hundred Blades the take down the trash mob I attack in one hit and then /laugh at me! It’s so annoying! Why haven’t we made a growth formula for our DNA? Why?!!!

Asura are optimally sized. The inferior races are far too large and are cumbersome because of it.

There’s few strategies more effective than hamstringing your opponent.

The asura are a subterranean race. The reason is obvious those low hanging stalactites are murder on the old noggin.

Does “David and Goliath” tell you something?

Body size is antiproportional to intelligence

DullDagger.2908:

Why haven’t we made a growth formula for our DNA? Why?!!!

I have just the thing for you. Click to come along and purchase my newGrowth Tonic!

SSalp.6423:

Body size is antiproportional to intelligence

According to Aesop, when the gods portioned out intelligence, they gave equal measure to all men. Those of smaller stature received more by proportion than those of larger frame. That is why larger men appear to be more slow witted and why the wisest are always smaller body.

We’re short because it helps us see around us in jumping puzzles better.

Drakkon.4782:

SSalp.6423:

Body size is antiproportional to intelligence

According to Aesop, when the gods portioned out intelligence, they gave equal measure to all men. Those of smaller stature received more by proportion than those of larger frame. That is why larger men appear to be more slow witted and why the wisest are always smaller body.

THE FIREFLIES ARE ONTO SOMETHING. QUICK, CAPTURE THEM IN A JAR AND UTILIZE THEIR BRAIN PROWESS BEFORE THEY KNOW WE’RE ONTO THEM!

Also, Whales. I like Whales in gw2.

Actually, I was dissappointed that I couldn’t go any shorter…

Zorby.8236:

Actually, I was dissappointed that I couldn’t go any shorter…

Use the elixir S

SSalp.6423:

Body size is antiproportional to intelligence

If this were indeed the case, a progeny’s intelligence would be as inflated as their overblown ego’s, and they would grow dumber as they grew larger. A wealth of observational data to the contrary shows that the first postulate is false in all but the most exceptional of subjects, and the ones who fall prey to the second tend to have suffered a severe cranial injury at some point.

Dog.1472:

Asura are optimally sized. The inferior races are far too large and are cumbersome because of it.

Optimal size varies depending upon the task requiring completion. The obvious solution to this problem is not to change ones inherent size, but to find a way to allow one to change their size at will.

Ryuujin.8236:

There’s few strategies more effective than hamstringing your opponent.

Quite. A small size also presents a smaller target, which is helpful when trying to preserve your structural integrity.

Btox.4083:

Zorby.8236:

Actually, I was dissappointed that I couldn’t go any shorter…

Use the elixir S

<- Mesmer

Delete Mesmer, reroll as engi, problem solved

Figulus.2709:

SSalp.6423:

Body size is antiproportional to intelligence

If this were indeed the case, a progeny’s intelligence would be as inflated as their overblown ego’s, and they would grow dumber as they grew larger. A wealth of observational data to the contrary shows that the first postulate is false in all but the most exceptional of subjects, and the ones who fall prey to the second tend to have suffered a severe cranial injury at some point.

Dog.1472:

Asura are optimally sized. The inferior races are far too large and are cumbersome because of it.

Optimal size varies depending upon the task requiring completion. The obvious solution to this problem is not to change ones inherent size, but to find a way to allow one to change their size at will.

Ryuujin.8236:

There’s few strategies more effective than hamstringing your opponent.

Quite. A small size also presents a smaller target, which is helpful when trying to preserve your structural integrity.

Don’t we grow smaller as we grow older and smarter? Maybe we are looking at this in the wrong causality, and we should maybe enter certain vectors in the formula?

It’s good for space saving when making piloted golems.

chronometria.3708:

It’s good for space saving when making piloted golems.

Very few golems are piloted and, in specific personal storylines, you've already invented a mind-linked golem which does not require the driver inside of the golem.

Esplen.3940:

chronometria.3708:

It’s good for space saving when making piloted golems.

Very few golems are piloted and, in specific personal storylines, you've already invented a mind-linked golem which does not require the driver inside of the golem.

I’m assuming you’re talking about the Dynamics personal storyline with the Massively Impressive Golem? That one was piloted from inside the golem, as evidenced by the fact that when the MIG up and left, Doxa was gone. Further, I quote Hronk: "we can't decide who gets the 'Snaff Savant' title until we recover Doxa and the MIG."

As for golems on a whole, most are automated by programming, a few are controlled via voice input (like Mister Sparkles), and automatons that will be doing precise or delicate work (like the Hazmat Suit) will need to be operated by a genius first-hand.

Actually, intelligence is positively correlated with height/mass.

That said, Asura have gigantic heads so they must have much bigger brains than the other races.

Jigain.8231:

Esplen.3940:

chronometria.3708:

It’s good for space saving when making piloted golems.

Very few golems are piloted and, in specific personal storylines, you've already invented a mind-linked golem which does not require the driver inside of the golem.

I’m assuming you’re talking about the Dynamics personal storyline with the Massively Impressive Golem? That one was piloted from inside the golem, as evidenced by the fact that when the MIG up and left, Doxa was gone. Further, I quote Hronk: "we can't decide who gets the 'Snaff Savant' title until we recover Doxa and the MIG."

As for golems on a whole, most are automated by programming, a few are controlled via voice input (like Mister Sparkles), and automatons that will be doing precise or delicate work (like the Hazmat Suit) will need to be operated by a genius first-hand.

Ahhh, you’re right, it’s been a while.

You also forget, the automated golems use essence of beings (typically weak elementals due to their lack of sentience, or so we Asura believe) to power them up initially. Inquest golems are powered by anything alive, including Asura.

Asura are small because they used to live deep underground where the pressure was immense, this caused them to grow larger eyes, more dense bones and shorter to cope with the pressure.

the dragon destroyed their home so now they have to live top side with the infidels

Points and laughs as a Charr

Har Har Har! You little peons are BUTT PLUGS to us mighty Charr!
I have to be careful where I sit else you may vanish forever!

When I find your “eternal alchemy” mumbo jumbo annoying to my ears, I put a cup over you and then there is silence!

My pillow is your entire bed!

My toilet is your bathtub!

If I was to be carnivorous upon your race, you’d only be classified as finger food! Appetizers! CHICKEN POPPERS!

I don’t need a gatorade to cross a bridge!

I don’t need grapple hooks to climb a flight of stairs!

Falling off my chair is not classified as a deadly drop!

Har Har Har! That is why you Asura have such big ears and live underground! So we have something to grab hold of, when we pull you up and out like a turnip!

Har Har Harrr!

Grimno.6172:

Points and laughs as a Charr

Har Har Har! You little peons are BUTT PLUGS to us mighty Charr!
I have to be careful where I sit else you may vanish forever!

When I find your “eternal alchemy” mumbo jumbo annoying to my ears, I put a cup over you and then there is silence!

My pillow is your entire bed!

My toilet is your bathtub!

If I was to be carnivorous upon your race, you’d only be classified as finger food! Appetizers! CHICKEN POPPERS!

I don’t need a gatorade to cross a bridge!

I don’t need grapple hooks to climb a flight of stairs!

Falling off my chair is not classified as a deadly drop!

Har Har Har! That is why you Asura have such big ears and live underground! So we have something to grab hold of, when we pull you up and out like a turnip!

Har Har Harrr!

Well, you won’t be laughing when I send an army of golems to you.

Grimno.6172:

Points and laughs as a Charr
Har Har Har! You little peons are BUTT PLUGS to us mighty Charr!
I have to be careful where I sit else you may vanish forever!
When I find your “eternal alchemy” mumbo jumbo annoying to my ears, I put a cup over you and then there is silence!
My pillow is your entire bed!
My toilet is your bathtub!
If I was to be carnivorous upon your race, you’d only be classified as finger food! Appetizers! CHICKEN POPPERS!
I don’t need a gatorade to cross a bridge!
I don’t need grapple hooks to climb a flight of stairs!
Falling off my chair is not classified as a deadly drop!
Har Har Har! That is why you Asura have such big ears and live underground! So we have something to grab hold of, when we pull you up and out like a turnip!
Har Har Harrr!

Now now, bookah. Don’t think of us as short. Think of us as within weapon’s range of your groin. How loud will you laugh when you get unmanned by an Asuran Warrior’s Greatsword? Hmm? No cubs for you, cat. I don’t have to kill you. I’ll just turn your dangly bits into earrings for my mate, or perhaps a necklace for her delicate neck. If you really want to get uppity, I could carve off your tail and turn it into a whip.

How well will you climb stairs once you’ve been hamstrung?

How much stamina will it take you to cross a bridge once you’ve lost your … edge?

And those are just the crude “quick and dirty” solutions to the Charr question. Employing a mere fraction of our considerable intellect could yield even greater results with more… permanent… effects. Shall we discuss those, or are you done?

We are not short. Nor are we tall. Rather, our dimensions define the standard of perfection.
Hence, the other races may be described with such adjectives, but for Asura any such modifier is inherently inaccurate.

Grimno.6172:

Points and laughs as a Charr

Har Har Har! You little peons are BUTT PLUGS to us mighty Charr!
I have to be careful where I sit else you may vanish forever!

Um… Mr. Charr. You might want to have that looked at professionally. I hear there’s a great veterinarian in Wizard’s Feif.

Drakkon.4782:

Grimno.6172:

Points and laughs as a Charr
Har Har Har! You little peons are BUTT PLUGS to us mighty Charr!
I have to be careful where I sit else you may vanish forever!
When I find your “eternal alchemy” mumbo jumbo annoying to my ears, I put a cup over you and then there is silence!
My pillow is your entire bed!
My toilet is your bathtub!
If I was to be carnivorous upon your race, you’d only be classified as finger food! Appetizers! CHICKEN POPPERS!
I don’t need a gatorade to cross a bridge!
I don’t need grapple hooks to climb a flight of stairs!
Falling off my chair is not classified as a deadly drop!
Har Har Har! That is why you Asura have such big ears and live underground! So we have something to grab hold of, when we pull you up and out like a turnip!
Har Har Harrr!

Now now, bookah. Don’t think of us as short. Think of us as within weapon’s range of your groin. How loud will you laugh when you get unmanned by an Asuran Warrior’s Greatsword? Hmm? No cubs for you, cat. I don’t have to kill you. I’ll just turn your dangly bits into earrings for my mate, or perhaps a necklace for her delicate neck. If you really want to get uppity, I could carve off your tail and turn it into a whip.

How well will you climb stairs once you’ve been hamstrung?

How much stamina will it take you to cross a bridge once you’ve lost your … edge?

And those are just the crude “quick and dirty” solutions to the Charr question. Employing a mere fraction of our considerable intellect could yield even greater results with more… permanent… effects. Shall we discuss those, or are you done?

Asura Greatsword?
You mean Human Dagger right?

Someone call Logan! Seems the muffin heads stole his butter knife and are trying to play Warrior! Har Har Haaar!

You couldn’t even beat Belcher’s Bluff correctly since you can only drink out of a thimble while you’re “manly” Asura can take on the massive teacup!
The last Asura I faced took a whole three sips! I was getting worried he might hurt himself straining so hard.

And don’t even get me started on that “swimwear”.
A one-piece guys and gals? Really? When we go off and help the Quaggan retake their homes from the elder dragon of water, we’ll be sure to supply you folks with some water wings so you can keep up. But you better make sure to have the class chauffeur with you, don’t want a gentle breeze making you float off into the depths and vanish!

Har Har Haaarr!