It’s high time that something be brought to the attention of the Puppet Masters playing this game. Though I admit to a certain amount of bitterness in this regard, I still cannot keep silent at the injustice of it all.
You see, I USED to be the Puppet Master’s favorite. Her beloved MAIN. Then she made a (yes, you got it) a WARRIOR. This warrior, this usurper, stole my place in the Puppet Master’s heart. Suddenly, instead of adventuring all over Tyria, slaying dragons, collecting materials, and more or less saving the entire known (alright, fine, the REACHABLE) world, I was cooling my (Masterwork only) heels in Divinity’s Reach.
SHE was suddenly going everywhere, doing everything. SHE got to sun herself in Southsun Cove, (all the while flirting outrageously with Lord Faren, I might add. Disgusting.) bungee jumping in Dry Top, and collecting Mordrem guts in Silverwastes. (Okay, so I’m not really jealous about the gut-collecting, but still.) It’s the principle of the thing. I didn’t get to see ANY of it except for the tiny, little first part of Dry Top because the Puppet Master’s boyfriend needed help out there, and she wanted to get rewards for something she’d already done with HER.
Guess who’s NOT wearing shiny Ascended amulets, rings, and earrings! Guess who IS wearing all the finest in Damask and Deldrimor! And don’t even get me STARTED on makeovers! I haven’t had my hair redone since sob LAUNCH! Can you believe that? How is that even remotely fair? SHE has had HER hair done 4 or 5 times already. Plus, she got a facial!
While I occasionally am let out of town whenever the daily HAPPENS to be something the Puppet Master can easily get in Queensdale or other nearby locations, I don’t get to carry around those fancy Mad Scientist tools when I do. Oh, no. I’m still slaving away with a combination of boring orichalcum ones and those ridiculous frostbitten tools that blow freezing cold snow into my face every time I use them. When I complain about this obviously unfair discomfort, the Puppet Master just smiles and says she really needs to use these frostbitten tools up because she wants more room in the bank for “more important” items. Guess who’s going to get a SECOND legendary!
As you can see by now, my fellow alts, this willful violation of my Kormir-given rights has got to be addressed. If this keeps up, I can kiss hangliding and mushroom-hopping in the jungle good-bye. (And let’s face it, as an engineer, I am the BEST one to go to the jungle and meet all those new poison-producing frog people).
Another thing. I’m not a Sylvari, (I’m a ravishing red-headed human) and even though the Puppet Master’s Sylvari is an alt, too, SHE’S been getting an awful lot of attention lately. The Puppet Master is acting like that sorry excuse for a salad is going to go see the jungle BEFORE me.
The situation is intolerable. I know I am not alone in this forced disrespect, this unfair ignoring of my full potential. How can I be expected to be all that I was created to be if the Puppet Master won’t even spend so much as a transmutation charge on me?
I say it’s time to stop standing in the character log-in screen, moving our heads from side to side, and looking like we can take on the world but never get to do more than the occasional daily or craft yet another piece of Elonian leather before being tossed back out again.
I say we, the Alts, unite! Tell me your stories of shame and pain! Take back your dignity! Together we will wrest our legendaries, ascended armor, makeovers, and right to explore the world from those snooty, spoiled Mains!
WHO’S WITH ME?