Guild Wars 2

Great job on the lyrics! They convey the meaning of the song beautifully by drawing on the nuances of the Japanese language. To me, the music works better with the rhythm of Japanese speech. I think my favourite line in this version is “Akari, kasumi, hibiki subete no odori”. A few deft brushstrokes that capture the full scene.

A few observations:

Shizukesa ga ooku ni naru kono yoru ni
Be careful with the pronunciation of ooku. The “o” needs to be drawn out. Otherwise, it sounds more like oku.

Taiyou ni oogoe dasu
I think what you want to say here is, “Raise your voice to the sun”, in line with the original lyrics. If so, then the imperative “dase” may be more appropriate.

Onegai no ARIA wa shizuka ni naiteiru
I find that this line has too many syllables for that part of the song (the same for the original lyrics). One suggestion: “koinegau ARIA wa odayaka ni uraeru (or itamu)”. I’d ask a native speaker for the best choice of synonym.

Yami wa kodokuna uta wo utatteiru
How about “yami wa sabishiku utatteiru”? Avoids the repetition of “uta”, though it may make it more difficult to match the music.

Hope this helps. I’m looking forward to the final version!

Edit: Bah, it wouldn’t post all that Japanese text. Romaji it is.

Home World: Sanctum of Rall
Guild Name: Fellowship of Wizards
Guild Website: http://www.fellowshipofwizards.com
In-Game Contact: Emeria
Focus: PvX (Mostly PvE with a touch of WvW)
Quick Notes: Members in U.S. and Canada, mature players (age 20+), friendly, supportive environment

Guild Name: Fellowship of Wizards [FoW]
Server: Sanctum of Rall
Timezone: US/Canada (GMT -5 to GMT -8)
Type: PvX (mostly PvE with a little WvW)
Website: http://www.fellowshipofwizards.com
Age: 20+
VOIP: Ventrilo

The Fellowship of Wizards [FoW] is a North American guild with members in the United States and Canada. We have members on both coasts and everywhere in between.

FoW was formed before the release of GW2 out of a GW1 alliance that had housed multiple independent guilds that merged into a single guild in GW2 to form a cohesive family. We have members of all ages, but tend to focus most on the 20+ crowd (with most members being far over 20, and many spanning in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and beyond). We have a great group of helpful and skilled players who are more than happy to lend a hand to anyone needing assistance who are at all stages of the game. Although our core focus is PvE, we do some WvW on occasion (with many members looking to do more WvW as they complete their PvE storylines). Our guild is set up to provide a kind, supportive and family friendly atmosphere for persons of all ages, regardless of your skill level or character progression.

In addition to our in-game presence, we have an extensive ad-free guild forum for people to interact, coordinate activities, and share stories and images. We also have a Ventrilo server for VoIP communications. (There is no charge to anyone for the use of the guild forum or VoIP server – so no one will EVER ask you for a donation.)

So, if you are looking for a PvE-oriented guild to call home and want to game without the drama or play time requirements of some more hardcore guilds, head over to our forum, sign up for an account and request an invite.