Guild Wars 2

Every time I hear the progeny break out these jokes I have to stop and listen. Anyone have any of their own (or other asura jokes)?

• Your mother’s IQ is so low she thinks a broadsword is a sword for women only.
• Your mother’s IQ is so low she thinks Lion’s Arch is a podiatrist’s diagnosis.

Yo’ mama’s IQ is so low, she thinks the Charr are a race of burnt steaks.

So low she spells it n0rn.

She tried to shave her armpits with Destiny’s Edge.

She thinks pi r^2

(The forum is so stupid, it does not actually support [sup])

my mommas iq is so low..

D’OH

Qid.1937:

my mommas iq is so low..

D’OH

Lol U sir have won this theard congrats

You mother’s IQ is so low, she can’t spell IQ.

You mother’s IQ is so low she plays League of Legends

Let’s go older school:
Your mother’s IQ is soooo low, her Krewe Leader mentioned that it was chilly outside …
she went out with a bowl and some crackers.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, Skritt crowd around her to try and smarten her up.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, a Necromancer once mistook her for his pet.

Yo’ momma’s IQ is so low, she thought Warmaster Efut was an electronic foot.

I was not amused.

Yo’ mamma’s IQ is so low, she thinks Lion’s Arch is a back condition.

Your mothers IQ is low she thought Rata Sum was a mathematical equation for skritt

Yo’ mothers IQ is so low she taught jormag was an ice pop and licked him.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she think that the formula for converting Celsius to Fahrenheit is °C*1.8+31. THIRTY-ONE! ROTFLOL

Your momma’s IQ is so low, she thought adding Ascended Gear to the game was a good idea.

Yo’ momma’s IQ is so low, I spared her out of mercy for insulting my Efut.

Yo’ momma’s IQ is so low I told her PI R Squared and she replied, no Pi Is Round.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she didn’t know that one of the only sufficient power sources for an infinity ball was a megahedron collider. She was under the impression that AAA batteries were required.

I was thoroughly amused.

Your mothers IQ is so low, she thinks golem and Sylvari are precious metals.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she keeps trying to divide by zero.

Oh man, all my good Asura-sounding yo momma jokes are about weight instead of intellect.

Yo momma’s so fat, tightening her belt makes her drop below her Schwarzschild radius
Yo momma’s so fat, she has mass whether or not the Higgs Boson exists
Yo momma’s so fat, she doesn’t need to paint her toenails because they’re red-shifted.

Your mother’s IQ is slow low that she doesn’t even know how to crossthread a micronfluxcapacitor multiphasic unit with a simple dimatrix array power inversion unit equipped with a subsonic alpha wave modulation circuit.

I mean, how human do you have to be not to realize that a simple recalibration of the carbohypothermic intake valve release frees up the injection array subprocessing unit so that it can combocalculate the exact reverberation of the magic stream inversion coil.

::eyeroll::

what a dolt.

nakoda.4213:

Your mother’s IQ is slow low that she doesn’t even know how to crossthread a micronfluxcapacitor multiphasic unit with a simple dimatrix array power inversion unit equipped with a subsonic alpha wave modulation circuit.

I mean, how human do you have to be not to realize that a simple recalibration of the carbohypothermic intake valve release frees up the injection array subprocessing unit so that it can combocalculate the exact reverberation of the magic stream inversion coil.

::eyeroll::

what a dolt.

Why crossthread it when you can simply multicrossthread it. Also the dimatrix array power inversion has been outdated by the new trimatrix array power inversion which has an exponentially better power inversion capacity. You don’t even need the subsonic alpha stream inversion coil at all, in fact it was proven to slow down the process by tenfold with the new trimatrix array.

There is no need to combocalculate, that’s just wasting your iterations. Simply take a quantum nucleic phasitron and adjust it to entwine into the array. You can get rid of the entire coil and intake valve.

Seriously… who taught you this stuff?

Esplen.3940:

nakoda.4213:

Your mother’s IQ is slow low that she doesn’t even know how to crossthread a micronfluxcapacitor multiphasic unit with a simple dimatrix array power inversion unit equipped with a subsonic alpha wave modulation circuit.

I mean, how human do you have to be not to realize that a simple recalibration of the carbohypothermic intake valve release frees up the injection array subprocessing unit so that it can combocalculate the exact reverberation of the magic stream inversion coil.

::eyeroll::

what a dolt.

Why crossthread it when you can simply multicrossthread it. Also the dimatrix array power inversion has been outdated by the new trimatrix array power inversion which has an exponentially better power inversion capacity. You don’t even need the subsonic alpha stream inversion coil at all, in fact it was proven to slow down the process by tenfold with the new trimatrix array.

There is no need to combocalculate, that’s just wasting your iterations. Simply take a quantum nucleic phasitron and adjust it to entwine into the array. You can get rid of the entire coil and intake valve.

Seriously… who taught you this stuff?

These are some serious Asurans. Anyway….

Your mother’s IQ is so low golems repair her circuits!

Esplen.3940:

nakoda.4213:

Your mother’s IQ is slow low that she doesn’t even know how to crossthread a micronfluxcapacitor multiphasic unit with a simple dimatrix array power inversion unit equipped with a subsonic alpha wave modulation circuit.

I mean, how human do you have to be not to realize that a simple recalibration of the carbohypothermic intake valve release frees up the injection array subprocessing unit so that it can combocalculate the exact reverberation of the magic stream inversion coil.

::eyeroll::

what a dolt.

Why crossthread it when you can simply multicrossthread it. Also the dimatrix array power inversion has been outdated by the new trimatrix array power inversion which has an exponentially better power inversion capacity. You don’t even need the subsonic alpha stream inversion coil at all, in fact it was proven to slow down the process by tenfold with the new trimatrix array.

There is no need to combocalculate, that’s just wasting your iterations. Simply take a quantum nucleic phasitron and adjust it to entwine into the array. You can get rid of the entire coil and intake valve.

Seriously… who taught you this stuff?

Your mother did.

But at least SHE knows that a trimatrix array is incompatible with a decahedron infusion dynamo which is WHY the subsonic alpha stream inversion coil needs to be linked up to the megaflux protocore of the temporal energy capacitors.

Seriously, the quantum nucleic phasitron is untested technology bordering on mere MECHANICS. We covered that in first level progeny class. At least your mother’s IQ isn’t so low as to miss THAT.

You might as well swap the unitron projection processor for introflux capacitration multiplier. We all got taught in second level that combocalculation takes no more than a 0.00003812312432^16 nanosecond longer to iterate the output figures than a intake-less power inversion unit. Why remove something that frees up magic for the thermokenetic hydraulic system?

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she went to the Library to look for bookahs…

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she thinks a golem is a character in Lord of the Rings.

Slayer Lord.5023:

These are some serious Asurans. Anyway….

Your mother’s IQ is so low golems repair her circuits!

Asura*

nakoda.4213:

Esplen.3940:

nakoda.4213:

Your mother’s IQ is slow low that she doesn’t even know how to crossthread a micronfluxcapacitor multiphasic unit with a simple dimatrix array power inversion unit equipped with a subsonic alpha wave modulation circuit.

I mean, how human do you have to be not to realize that a simple recalibration of the carbohypothermic intake valve release frees up the injection array subprocessing unit so that it can combocalculate the exact reverberation of the magic stream inversion coil.

::eyeroll::

what a dolt.

Why crossthread it when you can simply multicrossthread it. Also the dimatrix array power inversion has been outdated by the new trimatrix array power inversion which has an exponentially better power inversion capacity. You don’t even need the subsonic alpha stream inversion coil at all, in fact it was proven to slow down the process by tenfold with the new trimatrix array.

There is no need to combocalculate, that’s just wasting your iterations. Simply take a quantum nucleic phasitron and adjust it to entwine into the array. You can get rid of the entire coil and intake valve.

Seriously… who taught you this stuff?

Your mother did.

But at least SHE knows that a trimatrix array is incompatible with a decahedron infusion dynamo which is WHY the subsonic alpha stream inversion coil needs to be linked up to the megaflux protocore of the temporal energy capacitors.

Seriously, the quantum nucleic phasitron is untested technology bordering on mere MECHANICS. We covered that in first level progeny class. At least your mother’s IQ isn’t so low as to miss THAT.

You might as well swap the unitron projection processor for introflux capacitration multiplier. We all got taught in second level that combocalculation takes no more than a 0.00003812312432^16 nanosecond longer to iterate the output figures than a intake-less power inversion unit. Why remove something that frees up magic for the thermokenetic hydraulic system?

I wonder what the above two Asura think of the young Asura lady who just wants to move to Lion’s Arch and sell baked goods…

Zaxares.5419:

nakoda.4213:

Esplen.3940:

nakoda.4213:

Your mother’s IQ is slow low that she doesn’t even know how to crossthread a micronfluxcapacitor multiphasic unit with a simple dimatrix array power inversion unit equipped with a subsonic alpha wave modulation circuit.

I mean, how human do you have to be not to realize that a simple recalibration of the carbohypothermic intake valve release frees up the injection array subprocessing unit so that it can combocalculate the exact reverberation of the magic stream inversion coil.

::eyeroll::

what a dolt.

Why crossthread it when you can simply multicrossthread it. Also the dimatrix array power inversion has been outdated by the new trimatrix array power inversion which has an exponentially better power inversion capacity. You don’t even need the subsonic alpha stream inversion coil at all, in fact it was proven to slow down the process by tenfold with the new trimatrix array.

There is no need to combocalculate, that’s just wasting your iterations. Simply take a quantum nucleic phasitron and adjust it to entwine into the array. You can get rid of the entire coil and intake valve.

Seriously… who taught you this stuff?

Your mother did.

But at least SHE knows that a trimatrix array is incompatible with a decahedron infusion dynamo which is WHY the subsonic alpha stream inversion coil needs to be linked up to the megaflux protocore of the temporal energy capacitors.

Seriously, the quantum nucleic phasitron is untested technology bordering on mere MECHANICS. We covered that in first level progeny class. At least your mother’s IQ isn’t so low as to miss THAT.

You might as well swap the unitron projection processor for introflux capacitration multiplier. We all got taught in second level that combocalculation takes no more than a 0.00003812312432^16 nanosecond longer to iterate the output figures than a intake-less power inversion unit. Why remove something that frees up magic for the thermokenetic hydraulic system?

I wonder what the above two Asura think of the young Asura lady who just wants to move to Lion’s Arch and sell baked goods…

Personally, you would get more business in Divinity’s Reach. That city has bustle. You might also spot me traversing across the tops of roofs.

• The perimeter of your mother’s waistline is so large dolyaks put saddlebags on her.
• Your mother’s IQ is so low she thinks a canopic jar is where you put canopic cookies.
• You mother’s IQ is so low she thinks Final Rest drops in Zho’qafa Catacombs.
• Your mother’s IQ is so low, bookah tell their children scary stories about her.

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought Divinity’s Reach was how far a divine being can reach.

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought tengu meant ten goos.

But in all seriousness your mother is rather intelligent after all so are most asura…

catqeer.1954:

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought Divinity’s Reach was how far a divine being can reach.

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought tengu meant ten goos.

But in all seriousness your mother is rather intelligent after all so are most asura…

Your mother’s IQ is so low she clearly taught you that humility is better than bravado, intelligence, poise, atavistic eloquence, and sheer good looks.

She was wrong.

The young woman selling cookies in Lion’s Arch has a higher IQ than your mother.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she refuses to take an IQ test, because she really hates getting grossed out.

(hint for non-Asura – sound out “IQ”)

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she thinks grammar is two and a half grams.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, when a friend invited her to do Fractals, she asked for a calculator.

Yo momma’s IQ is so low, she tried to use a differential instead of an integral to solve the area under a curve.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, when a friend asked her how much Ascended gear she had, she replied she had a Stairmaster.

(hint for non-Asura: think about what two words “Ascended” sounds like)

Your mother’s IQ is so low that when I asked her for an inertial flux diagram she slapped me.

Your mother’s IQ is so low that she was lost and asked a peacemaker for directions; when he told her she was in Soren Draa, she threw up her hands and screamed she was not armed.

Hey, Yotta, your mama’s IQ is so low, she thinks norn cows go “moot.”

Oh, yeah? Your mama’s IQ is so low, she thinks “crafting” is something you do on the “criver.”

Well, your mama’s IQ is so low, she thinks sylvari and golem are precious metals.

Your mama’s IQ is so slow, she thinks “elemental” is four letters in the middle of the alphabet.

Your mama’s IQ is so low, she thinks a golemancer is what you get when you ask a golemquestion.

No, but seriously…your mom is really smart.

Yeah, yours too.

nakoda.4213:

catqeer.1954:

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought Divinity’s Reach was how far a divine being can reach.

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought tengu meant ten goos.

But in all seriousness your mother is rather intelligent after all so are most asura…

Your mother’s IQ is so low she clearly taught you that humility is better than bravado, intelligence, poise, atavistic eloquence, and sheer good looks.

She was wrong.

The young woman selling cookies in Lion’s Arch has a higher IQ than your mother.

Your mother’s IQ is so low she agreed to a longterm agreements in the hopes of producing children’s with the dumbest male asura in all of Rata Sum. Also known as your father.

I will not tolerate my mother being compared to a merchant in Lion’s Arch… Disgusting seriously have you no shame.

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought martial arts were paintings done by peacemakers.

catqeer.1954:

nakoda.4213:

catqeer.1954:

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought Divinity’s Reach was how far a divine being can reach.

Your mother’s IQ is so low she thought tengu meant ten goos.

But in all seriousness your mother is rather intelligent after all so are most asura…

Your mother’s IQ is so low she clearly taught you that humility is better than bravado, intelligence, poise, atavistic eloquence, and sheer good looks.

She was wrong.

The young woman selling cookies in Lion’s Arch has a higher IQ than your mother.

Your mother’s IQ is so low she agreed to a longterm agreements in the hopes of producing children’s with the dumbest male asura in all of Rata Sum. Also known as your father.

I will not tolerate my mother being compared to a merchant in Lion’s Arch… Disgusting seriously have you no shame.

MY father invented duostream intertial conversion dampening coil mechanics before he left 4th level progeny school. That “longterm agreement” is commonly known as a marriage license, which was subsidized by the royalties from the use of duostream inertial conversion dampening coils which are used in practically every self propelled device made in the last 50 years. He is currently lead kreweman of StreamCoil Technologies.

Where is your father? Oh, yes, you are looking at him. Professor Emeritus of the College of Synergetics, inventor of the acclaimed INFINITY BALL which foretold the future of Asuran ascendance, junior executive for the school for the blind and philanthropist extraordinaire.

Ask your mother, she’ll tell you all about me.

Your momma’s IQ is so low, she thought a lecture from the College of Statics would be electrifying…..

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she thought “Blood Legion” was something you went to the doctor about.

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she thought golems come from geodes.

Zaxares.5419:

I wonder what the above two Asura think of the young Asura lady who just wants to move to Lion’s Arch and sell baked goods…

Your mother’s IQ is so low, she wanted to move to Lion’s Arch and sell baked goods, and when I tried to warn her about miasma, she expressed her sympathies and assured me that neither she nor anyone in her family had any such condition.

(Hint for non-asura: Try sounding out ‘miasma’ with a long rather than short ‘i’.)

Melchior.2135:

Oh man, all my good Asura-sounding yo momma jokes are about weight instead of intellect.

Yo momma’s so fat, tightening her belt makes her drop below her Schwarzschild radius
Yo momma’s so fat, she has mass whether or not the Higgs Boson exists
Yo momma’s so fat, she doesn’t need to paint her toenails because they’re red-shifted.

Yo momma’s so fat, Researcher Knuth had to invent up-arrow notation just so they could ascertain her mass.