Guild Wars 2

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

Broadicea.8294:

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

Broadicea.8294:

Ethics.4519:

End game is PvP in dungeon forums.

Elitist vs Casuals it seems. No rules, because there are no enforcers (unless you get butt/hurt and report a post)

I would love to compare the metrics on how often dungeon forum regulars get reported/infracted versus how often it happens to bads that wander in and get yelled at

5:1 ratio easily

and that’s from swiftpaw alone

I should write a short story about Swiftpaw.

it’d better be saucy as kitten.

swiftpaw.6397:

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

Broadicea.8294:

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

Broadicea.8294:

Ethics.4519:

End game is PvP in dungeon forums.

Elitist vs Casuals it seems. No rules, because there are no enforcers (unless you get butt/hurt and report a post)

I would love to compare the metrics on how often dungeon forum regulars get reported/infracted versus how often it happens to bads that wander in and get yelled at

5:1 ratio easily

and that’s from swiftpaw alone

I should write a short story about Swiftpaw.

it’d better be saucy as kitten.

It will be………

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

The night was dark, and the soft pitter-patter of footsteps was becoming louder…

“I told you this was going to be bad,” said xXNoScopeXx the bowbear Ranger. The Guardian replied with “You just have to circle strafe the Crusher and kite him after i Take aggro on the patrol of mobs. My Rabid gear has Toughness,” a tactic he frequently used in his guild of friends he had known since the fifth grade. “We should just kill the Hunter first so there isn’t any poison,” Brazil typed as he let out a sigh and took another drink from his Mason jar containing Newcastle Brown Ale.

After the 3 complete wipes, the group of insubordinates defeated the pair of bosses and made their way to the Magecrusher, taking the aggro of every enemy that met their eyes. xXNoScopeXx frantically typed “I keep dying because my mom is bothering me with dinner again” into party chat as his photo in the party UI turned a deep shade of gray for the sixth or seventh time. The heroic Guardian felt he could offer his fellow pug a helping hand. Both lads took the waypoint and ran in tandem through the vile group of enemies, dodging and diving between purple circles and waves of green projectiles as they went.

After a safe go at the Magecrusher by means of ranging him from on top of a rock, the group of pusillanimous pugs casually strolled to the light orbs. “We can skip these gorillas, I saw it in Strife’s video” murmured the Staff Necro that had been quite up until this point. Brazil bravely said “I’ll just take the first one alone” as his face had become more red from alcohol ingestion as the dungeon run had “progressed” onward. The first orb was taken flawlessly with a swift Rush and Bull’s Charge, but the Guardian would not be outclassed as he took his own orb and died when he realized there was no light fixture to place it in. The gorillas swarmed in, and the Guardian swore and blamed keybinds as xXNoScopeXx spammed “LOLNOOB” repeatedly in map chat. After a quick 45 minutes of negotiating who would run the orb, the Mesmer had an epiphany. “I could just portal you, you know.” Everyone in the party was livid, and there was weeping and gnashing of teeth.

The road to Lupicus was not easy, but after clearing the entire group of mobs, only the Champion Orrian Warrior remained. Blade Trails went without dodges, Bleed stacks went without cleanses, and Staff Guardians face planted into the explody corpses in the side of the room. After a brief 20 minute struggle between kiting and ranging, the Champion fell and the loot boxes were picked up, rewarding the group’s effort with a green pants and Bloodstone Dust. It was now time to fight the boss of bosses.

Lupicus stood up, and in the panic of watching Brazil move into melee range, the pugs screamed and moaned in chat about how Warrior DPS was needed to kill grubs. Brazil would not have it, though, and cleverly typed “You are a horse and you can ride to knob head land. Get it.” into chat. The Cursed Shore loading screen appeared, and an alcoholic rage commenced in Brazil’s silent and dark room like there had never been. The Sugar Glider’s cage was broken open, the Les Paul was thrown violently out of the window, and screams were heard through the wall as someone banged on the door and yelled “THE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY!” Brazil ran naked into the night, with red and blue flashing lights following in close pursuit. All he could remember at that point were lines from The Fast and the Furious, as he collapsed in the road, hoping that Paul Walker would bail him out with the keys to a 1993 Toyota Supra.

Fin.

That is the single best thing I’ve ever read on these forums. You sire have made my day.

Signed
Bearbow Ranger

kittening amazing, I love it.

Easily 80% of my posts get infracted.

this subforum is better than playing the game today.

I’m on a role with words. It’s going to get even better.

ahahah omg

I love story time with Brazil.

Most days I’m sad I cannot play and have to lower my IQ reading dungeon forum posts.

Today, today is the day, I say nay! The dungeon forum is better than gameplay. May this day live in infamy.

The runway was dark, the lights were blinding, the alcohol was wearing off, and the crowd was explosive. It was Wethospu’s turn to walk the runway in the Dungeon Forum Fashion Show, and the laughter could be heard by insects inhabiting the grass outside of the building. Tomatoes and various types of rotten fruit were thrown onto the stage as Wethospu’s horrific armor set and dye choices caused chaos and headaches that could only be rivaled by an episode of Jerry Springer.

Wethospu fled the stage and retreated back into the gates of The Ruined City of Arah, his only home in Guild Wars 2. Here he could be at peace, observing the fashion trends of his undead friends and whispering gentle words to them as the mindlessly wandered through the ancient sand. “I’ll show them all. I’ll make a video of a Lupicus solo and it will change the world. People will know my name, and I will be the best there is.”

Operative Belka was first on the list, and just like any snobby Inquest would do, she ridiculed Wethospu’s fashion sense like the rest had before her. When Wethospu put away his Longbow and drew his Greatsword, though, Belka knew that this would be a different encounter than she was used to. Most pugs with their projectile spamming circle strafe tactics were no match for her reflection, but a Greatsword? Surely she could counter this. The fight was soon over, and the tiny Asura lay on the ground beaten and bruised with Wethospu’s hideous boot planted on top of her head.

Next up was the Abomination. The run past the Spiders and Sentinels was simple, because none were willing to approach such a man crazy enough to shroud his body in garments so distasteful. The hideous Abomination mumbled unintelligible sentences in a deep voice and approached Wethospu without any fear of his wardrobe disaster, for the Abomination was a being above clothes. Nudity would prevail in this fight, surely, but this was not the case as Wethospu outmaneuvered the beast and gracefully side-stepped his slow attacks. The great Abomination fell; undead blood and guts spilled from the stitches strewn across its body and covered the ancient sand below.

Next was his final stop: Giganticus Lupicus. Robert Hrouda (RIP) had warned him about this one. He approached the undead monstrosity with his chest puffed out, proudly displaying his horrendous armor. Lupicus awoke and rose from his position in the arena, revealing an indentation in the ground from having rested there so long. Lupicus would not be beaten by such a small man with a lack of fashion sense, and threw his arms into the air to summon a barrage of energy-infused projectiles onto Wethospu’s position. Wethospu’s Riposte blocked the projectiles, and it was followed by a Rush straight towards the undead behemoth. The fight drew on for several minutes, but the beast grew tired. It had taken too many critical hits, and the Eviscerate was more than it could handle. Lupicus fell into the center of the arena, and Wethospu wiped the blood and sweat from his already disgusting armor.

Armed with footage of defeating the most challenging boss in the game, Wethospu returned to the next year’s Dungeon Forum Fashion Show. This time sporting a new dye scheme, Wethospu strolled proudly onto the runway. Rotten fruit in hand and ready to be thrown, the crowd paused as the screen behind began to display footage of the brave Warrior’s feats. Jaws and hands dropped to the ground, and praise was given to the Warrior Wethospu for his great success.

In the back of the room, a cloaked figure rose and began to exit the building. Removing the long, black cloak, a Sylvari Warrior dressed in ancient Orrian armor with a dye scheme to rival Wethospu’s headed off to Cursed Shore. Now it was Strife’s turn.

Fin.

This has to become a blog.

“Brazil’s DG history of the week”.

Success guaranteed.

WHAT DOES DG MEAN?

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

WHAT DOES DG MEAN?

Deeeepz Grandprix.

>:[

I thought swiftpaw’s “epicurean” guangpost was the best I’d ever see, but this…

this

I’m good I guess.

Anet should hire you to be their Head Lore writer Brazil.

I’m sure I could do better than Trahearne and Scarlet.

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

I’m sure I could do better than Trahearne and Scarlet.

We are ALL sure of that.

Better said: You couldn’t do worse.

Get another game

This was beautiful. Beautiful T_T. I will be remembered.

Every time someone ties on a leather belt, they will remember me.
Every time someone rages, frothing at the mouth at some casual. I will be there in their minds, comforting them.

Yolo, my friends. yolo. *whispers softly *

We need swiftpaw story part 2, and it should end with “swag”.

@brazil: Please…. more…. MORE!!!!!

/cries

That Wethospu short is better than my CoF Rhapsody …

Nice work Brazil. Looking forward to more.

We don’t get to see more because the moderators hate brazil… RIP

Seems like they discovered the dungeon forums haha

Not modbots? oh dear, what happened to be able to play how you want, with who you want.

There is no place we can call safe now. Its all over, its all over.

swiftpaw.6397:

Why cant I post on the forums how I want?

huh? HUH?!?! Isn’t that want you want casuals?

FOR ME TO DO WHAT I WANT?!?!?

>:(

You still can. BHBs just get BH and report.

Edit: I have taken a wild guess at what BHB actually stands for. My previous statement may or may not make sense.

Ethics.4519:

swiftpaw.6397:

Why cant I post on the forums how I want?

huh? HUH?!?! Isn’t that want you want casuals?

FOR ME TO DO WHAT I WANT?!?!?

>:(

You still can. BHBs just get BH and report.

Edit: I have taken a wild guess at what BHB actually stands for. My previous statement may or may not make sense.

You got it ;D

Has brazil been banned from forum? kitten , he achieved what i’ve been trying for weeks now.

30 infraction points are not even enough for a 3 day ban

Does BHB stand for Black hearted kittens???? I need to know…

Bu/tthurt Babies?

I like dogs

I like the subtlety.

Any less and I would get an infraction so fast you wouldn’t even blink and I’d be in the naughty corner with Brazil… o-o

Strangely I completely believe you.

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

The runway was dark, the lights were blinding, the alcohol was wearing off, and the crowd was explosive. It was Wethospu’s turn to walk the runway in the Dungeon Forum Fashion Show, and the laughter could be heard by insects inhabiting the grass outside of the building. Tomatoes and various types of rotten fruit were thrown onto the stage as Wethospu’s horrific armor set and dye choices caused chaos and headaches that could only be rivaled by an episode of Jerry Springer.

Wethospu fled the stage and retreated back into the gates of The Ruined City of Arah, his only home in Guild Wars 2. Here he could be at peace, observing the fashion trends of his undead friends and whispering gentle words to them as the mindlessly wandered through the ancient sand. “I’ll show them all. I’ll make a video of a Lupicus solo and it will change the world. People will know my name, and I will be the best there is.”

Operative Belka was first on the list, and just like any snobby Inquest would do, she ridiculed Wethospu’s fashion sense like the rest had before her. When Wethospu put away his Longbow and drew his Greatsword, though, Belka knew that this would be a different encounter than she was used to. Most pugs with their projectile spamming circle strafe tactics were no match for her reflection, but a Greatsword? Surely she could counter this. The fight was soon over, and the tiny Asura lay on the ground beaten and bruised with Wethospu’s hideous boot planted on top of her head.

Next up was the Abomination. The run past the Spiders and Sentinels was simple, because none were willing to approach such a man crazy enough to shroud his body in garments so distasteful. The hideous Abomination mumbled unintelligible sentences in a deep voice and approached Wethospu without any fear of his wardrobe disaster, for the Abomination was a being above clothes. Nudity would prevail in this fight, surely, but this was not the case as Wethospu outmaneuvered the beast and gracefully side-stepped his slow attacks. The great Abomination fell; undead blood and guts spilled from the stitches strewn across its body and covered the ancient sand below.

Next was his final stop: Giganticus Lupicus. Robert Hrouda (RIP) had warned him about this one. He approached the undead monstrosity with his chest puffed out, proudly displaying his horrendous armor. Lupicus awoke and rose from his position in the arena, revealing an indentation in the ground from having rested there so long. Lupicus would not be beaten by such a small man with a lack of fashion sense, and threw his arms into the air to summon a barrage of energy-infused projectiles onto Wethospu’s position. Wethospu’s Riposte blocked the projectiles, and it was followed by a Rush straight towards the undead behemoth. The fight drew on for several minutes, but the beast grew tired. It had taken too many critical hits, and the Eviscerate was more than it could handle. Lupicus fell into the center of the arena, and Wethospu wiped the blood and sweat from his already disgusting armor.

Armed with footage of defeating the most challenging boss in the game, Wethospu returned to the next year’s Dungeon Forum Fashion Show. This time sporting a new dye scheme, Wethospu strolled proudly onto the runway. Rotten fruit in hand and ready to be thrown, the crowd paused as the screen behind began to display footage of the brave Warrior’s feats. Jaws and hands dropped to the ground, and praise was given to the Warrior Wethospu for his great success.

In the back of the room, a cloaked figure rose and began to exit the building. Removing the long, black cloak, a Sylvari Warrior dressed in ancient Orrian armor with a dye scheme to rival Wethospu’s headed off to Cursed Shore. Now it was Strife’s turn.

Fin.

“Dress like you want” – Anet

I’m back!

But now I don’t even feel like writing any more.

This is a sad day. Modbot killed Brazils will to write.

I can’t have a signature now and I have a 300 second limit between posts.

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

I can’t have a signature now and I have a 300 second limit between posts.

they got me too. Hate this game and the people who play it.

Broadicea.8294:

TheMaskedParadigm.3629:

I can’t have a signature now and I have a 300 second limit between posts.

they got me too. Hate this game and the people who play it.

When my 3DS gets here, goodbye Guild Wars 2.

What did actually happen?

BHBs reported us because we offended them

this happened

But i got about as many in just this month :/