Guild Wars 2

A Charr, a Norn and a Sylvari walk into a bar. The Charr orders a bottle of their best Black Citadel Whiskey, the Norn orders a tankard of their finest ale, and the Sylvari orders a glass of their freshest rainwater. The bartender turns to the Sylvari and says “Sorry, im not paid to water the plants.”

what do you say to a sylvari ranger who’s afraid to get hurt doing his wyld hunt?

JUST DRUID! DON’T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS!

not funny? I’m not sorry. Have a nice day

Argon.1563:

A Charr, a Norn and a Sylvari walk into a bar. The Charr orders a bottle of their best Black Citadel Whiskey, the Norn orders a tankard of their finest ale, and the Sylvari orders a glass of their freshest rainwater. The bartender turns to the Sylvari and says “Sorry, im not paid to water the plants.”

help

I dont know what to do with this +1

A Norn and an Asura are arguing.

You can say they don’t see eye to eye.

Why do people not want to use the “camp resolve waypoint”? Because it’s a silver waste.

How many Norns does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10, one holds the light bulb up and the rest drink until the room starts spinning.

What did the Asura say whe he left the Charr barbecue “alka seltzer”!

Theloseronian.2075:

Wars against the likes of Zhaitan and Modremoth really tend to dragon.

Winner!

What’s Tybalt’s favorite game?

Apples to Apples.

I got a horrible one:

What happened to the Pale Tree?
She became a vegetable.

Now that you’re done cringing… I also have a cheesy one:

What do you call a group of Sylvari lawyers?
A salad bar.

Did you hear about the asuran necromancer that escaped from jail? Guards said to be on the lookout for a small medium at large. (adapted from another joke…)

How do you know if you’ve met a sober Norn?
I don’t know either!

Got a few classics, courtesy of His Royal Madness, Mad King Thorn.
“How are a Paragon and a drunkard alike?”
“Both like to shout at strangers and run around without any pants.”

“What’s the difference between the Great Dwarf and the Great Destroyer?”
“One is a harbinger of the apocalypse and the other is an oxymoron.”

“Why do the Norn “Become the Bear?”"
"Because “Become the Arrogant Loudmouth” was already taken by the Asura."

current dungeon rewards

Fun fact: Ley-line armor was originally called Stink-line armor.

When do the devs work on WvW?

Well actually all WvW players are typically really into PvE, we always work on PvE, so we must also always work on WvW!

A Norn, an Asura and a Charr walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”

I have a good one!

Guild wars 2 Esports

What is a Mesmers Favorite movie?
The Clone Wars

Why does the Mesmer always feel like he’s in a familiar place?
Because he has DeJa Vu!

How does a Mesmer spend his time share with his clones?
In a Phase Retreat!

Why can’t a Mesmer sing on stage?
Because it causes too much Feedback!

What charges were brought against the Mesmer to be expelled from the Mages Guild?
Arcane Thievery and Malicious Sorcery!

What is a Memsers Favorite Dance?
Leeet’s doo the Tiiime Waarp Agaaaain.

What Happens when you break a Memsers heart?
It Shatters!

What is the Mesmers product of choice for all his dietary needs?
Why of course, the Magic Bullet!

What’s a Mesmers religion of choice?
Mormonism. (Lol)

What type of schizophrenic is the Mesmer?
Catatonic, sometimes his clones stand very still for long periods of time after being shattered.

How does a Mesmer entertain thoughts of suicide?
He shatters a clone.

Two clones of a Mesmer share a Grindr profile, it reads:
“Looking for a third…”

Why did the Psychologist diagnose the Mesmer with O.C.D?
Because he told him he had Persisting Images.

How many dependents are on a Mesmers 1040-EZ?
3.

Why Jora killed her brother Svanir ?

Because his attitude was unbearable.

Chinese whispers ‘play the way you want’: play the way you want: play if you want: play the way we want: play the way we tell you to: play what we tell you: play what we force you to…

Ariurotl.3718:

- Why was an asura turned away at the restaurant?
- He forgot to bookah table.

lol

Read this one on reddit

Worse ever Guild Wars 2 pickup line:

“Hey, baby. You want to double click my snowflake?”

If this one’s been told, well, it’s good enough to retell:

Heart of Thorns!

WAKKA WAKKA

I’ve got a great Wintersday gift idea for Braham.

A potted plant wrapped with..

So, what did the miner find around the fallen Risen?

He found some Orr.

Taltevus.3289:

What’s a Mesmers religion of choice?
Mormonism. (Lol)

Okay, dude. Your Mesmer jokes were funny… up to that point. :|

<- Mormon

Wow i like this topic up one with likes!!

What was the biggest complain anet got in the forums?
No one knows, already deleted.

Why did the balance patch is so late?
Because it got lost in the new Borderland Map.

If you throw an asura and a sylvari from the top of the empire states building, which one hits the ground first?
Who the hell cares?

What is a difference between a norn and a human?
Norn has the magic mushroom.

What is a difference between an asura and a sylvari?
One of them is suitable for vegetarians.

What happens when two sylvari is in love with each other?
Survival camp fire.