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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

What’s keeping us from entering the Dominion of the Four Winds?
All in all it’s just a….another brick in the WALL!

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Posted by: Lishtenbird.2814

Lishtenbird.2814

How did Scarlet manage to gather so many resources for her alliances?

Zommoros is Scarlet’s second name.

20 level 80s and counting.

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Posted by: JCROY.5730

JCROY.5730

Breaking news…The Marionette Event yesterday around 15:00 couldn’t be done due to Scarlet experiencing huge lagging and she DC’ed in the end.
A formal statement of Scarlet:" I hereby sincerely apologize for ruining all your effort upon gaining entrance to my secet weapon testing area..but I just switched providers and it seems my WIFI was unable to connect in my secret lair."

“see cow, grab bundle, feed cow?”

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Posted by: JCROY.5730

JCROY.5730

A Norn and his Eagle pet walk into a bar. The Norn orders a beer upon which the Eagle screeched" and one coke please!" The Norn turn towards the Eagle and says" shut up bird, you are not allowed to order without my permission". After a while, the Norn orders another round and again, the Eagle screeches " and one coke please?". The Norn glared to the Eagle and threatened " if you do this again, I nail you to the wall!!“. After finishing his second, the Norn goes for drinkinground three ..and again, the Eagle Screeches” one coke please!“. The Norn then gets furious, grabs the Eagle and nails it to the wall with two nails through its wings…right next to a small statue of dwayna which is hanging there. The Eagle looks towards this statue and ten asks..” did you also order a coke?"

“see cow, grab bundle, feed cow?”

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Posted by: JCROY.5730

JCROY.5730

What do you call a Sylvari with all Cultural armor?

Ceasar-Salad

“see cow, grab bundle, feed cow?”

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

A norn walks in and out of a bar.

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Posted by: Paul.4081

Paul.4081

3 Ascalonian fighters walk into a bar. The barman says “Good evening ghosts what can I….” the first fighter holds up his shield in a blocking motion.

The barman looks confused and thinking it must be a joke turns to the second fighter and forces a chuckle. “chuckle, Now sir what can I…..” The second Ascalonian holds up his shield and blocks too.

The barman is a little confused and annoyed by this point and expecting the obvious throws an empty tankard at the third Ascalonian. The third Ascalonian fighter is knocked out by the tankard hitting him in the face.

True story.

(edited by Paul.4081)

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Posted by: Meryn.6875

Meryn.6875

“guild wars 2”

(edited by Meryn.6875)

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

What’s so big, that you can’t fit in entire maps?
An asura’s ego.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

How to anger an asuran lover: “I don’t know what I did wrong!”.

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Posted by: Neural.1824

Neural.1824

Do you know that guy who purchased 10 character expansion slots?
Turns out he just wanted to post “LOL” on the forum.

Good lord that is awful. ROFL

Where are my gem sales? I want gem sales! Nerf EVERYTHING!

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Posted by: sorudo.9054

sorudo.9054

what is bigger then a norn?
the ego of an asura.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

What would a fleet of airships be doing in Guild Wars 2?
Covering Death from Above!

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Posted by: KarateKid.5648

KarateKid.5648

Orichalcum Ore: noun. One who would do anything for Orichalcum.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

Sea of Sorrows is a peaceful place

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Posted by: Ashabhi.1365

Ashabhi.1365

Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac dyslexic Asura?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog…

Level 80 Elementalist

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

The otter havroun went to the Mists one day to check up on the otter spirit but before he could get to it he found one of the spirit otters wondering the Mists, alone.
The norn asked:“How come you’re so far from any other otters or THE OTTER?”.
The otter replied:“What if I say that I’m not like the otters?”

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Posted by: zamalek.2154

zamalek.2154

Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac dyslexic Asura?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog…

Correction: He kept everyone else up all night explaining his theories about the existence of a dog.

Auroraglade
Epistemic.8013: Guys this is bullkitten a sentient plant creature is hitting these
wooden doors with fireballs and it’s working
.

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Posted by: Zorby.8236

Zorby.8236

A human, a Charr and a Norn are out drinking. All of a sudden the human smashes his glass and says:
“In Kryta we have so many glasses that we don’t need to drink from the same twice”
The Charr throws his glass in the air, draws his pistol, shoots it and proclaims:
“In Ascalon we have so much sand that we can make so many glasses that we don’t have to drink from the same twice”
The Norn is passed out…

~This is the internet, my (or your) opinion doesn’t matter~

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

The Ascalonian ruins have ruined both charr and human alike.

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Posted by: Ashabhi.1365

Ashabhi.1365

Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac dyslexic Asura?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog…

Correction: He kept everyone else up all night explaining his theories about the existence of a dog.

Ah… Thank you for the correction. ^^

Level 80 Elementalist

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Posted by: Herr der Friedhoefe.2490

Herr der Friedhoefe.2490

A human, a Charr and a Norn are out drinking. All of a sudden the human smashes his glass and says:
“In Kryta we have so many glasses that we don’t need to drink from the same twice”
The Charr throws his glass in the air, draws his pistol, shoots it and proclaims:
“In Ascalon we have so much sand that we can make so many glasses that we don’t have to drink from the same twice”
The Norn passed out ordered another drink…

FTFY

My posts are facts as I know them, or my own opinion, and do not represent any guild.

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Posted by: Kaizz.7306

Kaizz.7306

These jokes are Krait, I’m just tired of all the Skritt ones.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

Dhuum resurrects a creature.

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Posted by: lakdav.3694

lakdav.3694

Why cant thieves turn invisible all of a sudden?

They got stealth-nerfed.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

What’s Jormag’s favourite song?
A tie between Ice Ice baby and Cold as ice.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

What’s Tyria’s newest virus? A wurm.

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Posted by: Atlas.9704

Atlas.9704

“WvW is a middle ground for PvE and PvP”

Elona, Land of the Golden Sun….and undead…and poison. The travel brochure lied okay?!

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Posted by: Ettanin.8271

Ettanin.8271

Do a barrel roll! (Press W A S or D twice)

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

Grenth’s icy toes, by the bear, ohh my eternal alchemy, by the Dream!
What savings!

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Posted by: Reinforcments.5713

Reinforcments.5713

What did the Engineer say to the Tower Guard?

Nothing, because playing any other class was the only way to meet him. HA!

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

There have been a few cracks on the Queensdale and the sylvari engies used seeds to make the wall more stable, you could say that they seeded those torrents. Yeeeaaaahhhh

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Posted by: Bagel.4598

Bagel.4598

“All the things you love about GW1”

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Posted by: Guardian.5142

Guardian.5142

What did ANET do when the sheer mass of the event ZERG was too much for the server to support?

They had to SPAWN MORE OVERFLOWS!

What did ANET do when the sheer mass of the event ZERG was too much for the server to support?
They had to SPAWN MORE OVERFLOWS!

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Posted by: Herr der Friedhoefe.2490

Herr der Friedhoefe.2490

What do you call a Sylvari putting his clothes on?

Salad, dressing.

My posts are facts as I know them, or my own opinion, and do not represent any guild.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

What was Dhuum’s, Abbadon’s and Menzies’ secret alliance secretly called?
The triforce

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Posted by: Azure.8670

Azure.8670

Ranger

/thread

edit upon further thinking: if someone else already said this, +1 to them

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Posted by: Crossplay.2067

Crossplay.2067

I can tell my norn friend is under a lot of stress. He actually stopped drinking!

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Posted by: Curby.4897

Curby.4897

War Condi Meta joke.

2 swords walk into a gym.. they see the longbow sitting in the corner. The swords ask.. whats wrong longbow? The longbow says… I think I pulled something.

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Posted by: sorudo.9054

sorudo.9054

“zerging is a good way to enjoy an RPG”

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

Mordremoth and Primordus where cillin’ when all of the sudden they see a sylvari entering the Mists.
M: I’m going to make her my minion ‘cuz I’m a plant-dragon, and you know how sylvari love plants.
P: I’m going to make her my minion because everyone’s scared of my fire!
After a while..
M: You take her, she’s not worth the trouble.
P: You’re the plant-lover, I’m just a fire-dragon causing some chaos and drinking magic,I’ve got enough minion from the mountains.
M: Where’s your flame now?

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Posted by: Vayne.8563

Vayne.8563

What’s the best way to get a drink out of a norn?

Stick your finger down his throat.

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Posted by: Zomaarwat.3912

Zomaarwat.3912

A sylvari on his way to Rata Sum reaches a gate checkpoint where all visitors require paperwork to be accounted for , upon entering the city.
An elderly asura walks up to the him and starts taking some notes .Then with a dull tone asks him :
-Name?
-Farwin Leafmesh , the sylvari answers.
-Age?
-21

I dont get it.

Over a year and the forum search is still broken = /

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

A necromancer wonders around a graveyard during the night. During her visit she meets a zombie and a ghost. Out of sheer joy she started singing:
(facing the zombie) Your my heart,
(facing the ghost) Your my soul.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who?
Who’s who?
I’m the owl havroon that’s deaf in one ear.

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Posted by: Whitey.6185

Whitey.6185

Saw someone post this in map chat the other day and it made me laugh.

How does Trahearne change a light bulb? “Commander, I need a word”

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Posted by: Mad Queen Malafide.7512

Mad Queen Malafide.7512

A necromancer, a mesmer and a guardian are standing at the mystic forge. Miyana tells them, “throw any 4 items into the forge and yell out your wish, and Zommoros will reward you handsomely.”

So the necromancer can’t wait to try this out. She throws a couple of skulls into the forge and yells out “Ultimate power!!!”, and much to her surprise Zommoros rewards her with a powerful magical staff in return. “Sweet!” -the necromancer exclaimed poetically.

Next up is the mesmer. She throws in a pile of junk that she found during her travels, and yells out: “A new mask!”. And much to her surprise, Zommoros rewards her with a beautiful priceless mask. “Groovy!” -The mesmer exclaimed in joy.

Last up is the guardian. He throws in a couple of swords, and then he thinks. “I’m not as selfish as the both of you. I’ll wish for something that will make us all happy.” So the guardian thinks long and hard, and then he yells out: “I wish for a better world!”

Zommoros instantly pops out and decapitates the mesmer. “You’re welcome!”

“Madness is just another way to view reality”
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-On3Ya0_4Y)

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Posted by: penelopehannibal.8947

penelopehannibal.8947

Which race in Tyria invented perfume?

The Scent-aurs.

Blood & Merlot [Wine]

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Posted by: Vayne.8563

Vayne.8563

A necromancer, a mesmer and a guardian are standing at the mystic forge. Miyana tells them, “throw any 4 items into the forge and yell out your wish, and Zommoros will reward you handsomely.”

So the necromancer can’t wait to try this out. She throws a couple of skulls into the forge and yells out “Ultimate power!!!”, and much to her surprise Zommoros rewards her with a powerful magical staff in return. “Sweet!” -the necromancer exclaimed poetically.

Next up is the mesmer. She throws in a pile of junk that she found during her travels, and yells out: “A new mask!”. And much to her surprise, Zommoros rewards her with a beautiful priceless mask. “Groovy!” -The mesmer exclaimed in joy.

Last up is the guardian. He throws in a couple of swords, and then he thinks. “I’m not as selfish as the both of you. I’ll wish for something that will make us all happy.” So the guardian thinks long and hard, and then he yells out: “I wish for a better world!”

Zommoros instantly pops out and decapitates the mesmer. “You’re welcome!”

ROFLMAO! I think this is the best in the thread so far.

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Posted by: darkfiremew.5937

darkfiremew.5937

What’s harder? Getting a norn to stop drinking or killing the wurm boss?
Only one of them will say:“Just try and stop me!”.