Guild Wars 2

Mesmer: You know, I’d love to come to the party tonight, but I’m playing bridge with my clones.

Windmeeeeeellllll!

(was probably too early for most ppl here tho :p)

Mesmer favorite song: “I think I’m a clone now”

Arc DLad.2194:

Q:how does Treaherne change a light bulb?
A:Commander can i have a word

Hahahaha

http://healbotblues.brainflush.com/healbot-blues.html

Anybody remember these?

One day it came to pass that Trahearne was finally captured by the Orrians, bound up and tossed into the bottomless pit of despair. His last words can still be heard echoing up from the depths… “This well won’t end!”

Oh oh oh, I have a lovely one.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

RNG.

VOLKON.1290:

One day it came to pass that Trahearne was finally captured by the Orrians, bound up and tossed into the bottomless pit of despair. His last words can still be heard echoing up from the depths… “This well won’t end!”

I see what you did there. -LOL {:þ

A group of Inquest are using Skritt to test a new device in a turbine driven wind tunnel. Inquest Engineer 1: We shouldnt keep doing this so much
Inquest Engineer 2: Why not?
Inquest Engineer 1: Cause the Skritt’s gunna hit the fan…

LanfearShadowflame.3189:

http://healbotblues.brainflush.com/healbot-blues.html

Anybody remember these?

Never read them before just now. I must thank you for posting these

A Norn walks out of a bar…

Atlas.9704:

Mesmer favorite song: “I think I’m a clone now”

Dang… I just got that.

TheDaiBish.9735:

LanfearShadowflame.3189:

http://healbotblues.brainflush.com/healbot-blues.html

Anybody remember these?

Never read them before just now. I must thank you for posting these

---

A Norn walks out of a bar…

You’re quite welcome. I thought they were great when I stumbled upon them a few years back. They could only be better if he did some for GW2. XD

VOLKON.1290:

Atlas.9704:

Mesmer favorite song: “I think I’m a clone now”

Dang… I just got that.

And I bet within the next few months someone will put that music in their Mesmer gameplay footage. lol

So a Mesmer walks into a bar, there was no counter.

What do you call a bully centaur covered in rubber? A Tamini!

What do you call centaur swimwear? A taminibikini!

How many mesmers does it take to light a candle?
Two! One to create the illusion that it’s lit, and another to keep the first mesmer’s pants up.

How many Asura does it take to blow up a reactor?
Also two! One to conclude that this might be dangerous, and a second to disagree with him.

What do you call a Charr Barbershop?

Ascalon Cat-a-combs.

Arc DLad.2194:

Q:how does Treaherne change a light bulb?
A:Commander can i have a word

ahahaha! <3 <3 <3

Guild Wars 1 Joke

Q: where is your math teacher?

A: she is in Hall of Heroes

jokes relevance (2005-2006)

I thought the GW1 joke was GW2.

It took me a whike to figure out the Qaggun thing but once i did it made me go Ooooooooo.

A buisness man was having a rough time selling things in Rata Sum until he starting asuran people of its quality .

I almost got into an argument with a Norn at a party in Holbrak but then realized it was a moot point

What’s the difference between Kormir and King Thorn? One’s an insane idiot who brings death and destruction for their own gain. The other is King Thorn.
Or as I like to call him: Jack Skellington meets Caligula.

“Yo momma so ugly, she went to Arah and got ganked by a group of adventurers!”

So a male charr, a human, a norn, an asura, and a sylvari all walk into a bar naked and some kind of punchline ensued. I was too busy gouging my eyes out on the floor.

An asura tried to purchase my Eternity off of me, but he came up short.

What do you call GW2 in its current state with the current direction the devs are taking it? Better than most of the @#$% out there that passes for online gaming.

Did you hear about why the Earth Elementals at Garenhoff rebelled? They said they were being taken for granite. I tell ya, with Garenhoff’s employee treatment so publically soiled, it’s gonna be hard to wipe the slate from this. And they’ve been on thin ice or in hot spots with the other elementals for a long time too. It’s only a matter of time before that whole thing boils over.

Two Asura walked into a mini-bar…

Overheard…
Player 1: I was surprised the personal story wasn’t very good after level 30.
Player 2: What, how many times did Trahearne have to warn you? “This won’t end well.”

What do you call an undercover Sylvari?

A plant.

What did the Sylvari and Norn name their son?

Leif.

What do you call a bar exclusively made up of Sylvari? A salad bar

A Necromancer is invited into a Dungeon

Tobbygnome.6793:

A Ranger is invited into a Dungeon

FTFY

^ A Ranger in a GvG comp

guys guys guys, i got a better joke.

“Guild Wars 2”

I roamed these lands once

Then I met a really very healthy centaur warrior

His name was ViTamini..

Q: Which cereal invited by the Asura is not selling well in Hoelbrak?
A: Nornflakes

Q: What is the sickness called Sylvari are scared of most?
A: Burnout Syndrome

“Living Story is an expansion’s worth of content”.

A dawn-cycle sylvari named Morning Wood walks into a bar. The barkeep says ‘Morning there, fella. What’ll you have?‘. The sylvari, disinterested in being called ’fella’, says “My name is Morning Wood, thank you. I’ll prefer you to call me such instead of by ‘fella’.”

“Whoa,” the barkeep verbally backpedals, “Alright, I hear ya. No need to be so stiff.”

Trahearne.

Why did Rytlock become a Revenant?

Because Zerkers Suck

EMTDJ.9042:

Q: What did the Golem say to the Asuran Engineer?
A: You turn me on.

Q: What the Asuran Engineer say to the Golem?
A: Now let me turn you off.

walks away >> lol

LowestTruth.2635:

An atypically dumb Asuran was lost and asked a guard in the Province where she was. Upon the guard stating “Soren Draa”, she laid down her weapons and threw up her arms.

hahahah!