Guild Wars 2

Mojo Gris Gris.5941:

“I thought Charr were supposed to be scary.”
“I’m plenty scary!!!”
“I don’t know. I think you’re beautiful, and your fur is pretty great.”
“I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL!!! …although…my fur is pretty great, isn’kitten” chuckle “See you around, cub.”

Edit: Why oh why does the filter isn’kitten?

LOL where is this from? I got to see this one now.

edgarallanpwn.8739:

Mojo Gris Gris.5941:

“I thought Charr were supposed to be scary.”
“I’m plenty scary!!!”
“I don’t know. I think you’re beautiful, and your fur is pretty great.”
“I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL!!! …although…my fur is pretty great, isn’kitten” chuckle “See you around, cub.”

Edit: Why oh why does the filter isn’kitten?

LOL where is this from? I got to see this one now.

It was dialogue between a Zephyrite boy and a charr, near the Ice Ele champ, during the Festival of the Four Winds. Sadly, it is gone now, and I can’t confirm its accuracy. :’(

Has everyone forgotten?

Asura: “Your face is funny”
Charr: “No. Your face is funny, it’s like a little raisin.”

Being greeted by that every time I walked in to the LA main bank was always a joy. Ah such nostalgia

Skritt "I answer right, you give me treat? It good deal. "
you “I will now attempt to read your mind! There. All done.”
Skritt "What? No! You can’t read minds. It not possible! "
you " I just did, and I saw everything. All your thoughts."
Skritt “No, it not possible! If you read my mind, what you see there, hmm? What you see?”
you “Shinies.”
Skritt "(gasp) You read miiiinds! "

also

Skritt "Noooooo! Skritt not cat food! "

heard one for the first time today….

“I’ve never been question so much by a seraph before”
“No one expects the Serpah Inquistion!”

A+ for the hidden monty python gag.

Let’s see, some of my favorite quotes/dialogs:

• Conversation between the Gate Operator and his Sylvari assistant in The Grove: Someone quoted it earlier, both hilarious AND a Blade Runner Reference.

• Molten Furnace Fractal: The Weapon’s Test Enginner. EVERYTHING he says is just gold, though I can’t remember them all atm, but one of the lines he does for the fight: “This Thermal core is crap! Where are my results? I want results! FIRE EVERYTHING!”

• Molten Boss Fractal: The opening cinematic introducing the bosses is all good, but the best line? Braham’s “Oh, we’re so dead.”

• This exchange at between an Asura and Human Lionguard that used to play (human LG isn’t there anymore) at Swamplost Haven in Queensdale:
  Asura: "So, how has the worship of your invisible gods worked for you?
  Human: “You should talk; your people think the world is a machine.”
  Asura:“It is, a beautiful machine to be studied and understood.”
  Human:“How can you understand something as big as the world when you can’t keep your own golem from running off?”
  Asura:“It didn’t run off. It had a… sudden locomotion overload.”
  Human:“…and you expect it to come back?”
  Asura:“Of course! It’s only been… two weeks.”
  Human:“Now that, my friend, is an act of faith.”

• Molensk event chain in Wayfarer Foothills. One Norn’s response to being called “decadent” by some dredge? “Oh yeah? Well I’ll deck you so hard it’ll dent your head!”

• “Blacked Out” Personal story for Norn. If you choose to ambush, you’ll get to hear one charr’s opinion of Asura tech: “Crystal Magic Rainbow Trash.”

• And finally, from the Aetheblade Retreat Fractal:
  “You think you’ve won? You’ve won nothing! Now tremble, as I unleash my greatest-”

In Plains of Ashford just near AC entrance somehwere along the following lines:
Gyron Slagskimmer: Besides, what is life without a little mayhem?
Explorer Erin: Well, for one, it’s safe.
Made me smile every time.

And in CoE after choosing p3:
Agent Spire: ooh front door. I like your style.
Made me laugh the first time I heard it. Anet so sneaky. Haha

Female Asura Necromancer summoning minions:
“Rise, my brainless!”

Female Asura Necromancer when minions die:
“Good thing I didn’t name that one!”

In the Molten Fractal, right after Braham’s “we’re so dead”

Dredge Boss “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

“We’re gonna need a bigger bow”
Just as you kick off the Veteran Oak event in Queensdale.

Nice movie tie in for those that know it and if you’ve seen it, you’d know that the timing ingame for it is perfect.

Azrael.4960:

Has everyone forgotten?

Nope, cause someone already mentioned it -.-

I think this was the quote when I last watched the Priory story:

Gixx: “Priory arcanists have scried Steag Frostbeard’s location. He’s hiding in an encampment near Black Barl’s mill.”

The reason why I thought it was hilarious is because the texts reads as such but Gixx’s voiced dialogue actually says:

“Priory ‘anarchists’ have scried Steag Frostbeard’s location. He’s hiding in an encampment near Black Barl’s mill.”

FearedbytheGods.8617:

Azrael.4960:

Has everyone forgotten?

Nope, cause someone already mentioned it -.-

Curses, foiled again.

I love “Believe in iron, not false gods”
Though in german it sounds even better, “Eisen schützt, nicht falsche Götter”, which is more like “Iron grants protection, false gods don’t”

…and I don’t even have a single Charr Charakter.

Opening dialogue in AC as Nike pointed out first. Been my fave for 2.5 yes now. Nothing else comes close.

Special recognition to the hilarious Asura personal story though.

Sankekur.9182:

I love “Believe in iron, not false gods”
Though in german it sounds even better, “Eisen schützt, nicht falsche Götter”, which is more like “Iron grants protection, false gods don’t”

…and I don’t even have a single Charr Charakter.

Almost everything industrial related sounds better in German

Some of the comedy gold is quite well hidden away…

In Master Blackforge’s Steading in Hoelbrak, a conversation goes like this:

Axes are fun.
Somone should build a cannon that shoots axes.
Yeah! Or a bomb full of axes that fly out when it explodes.
You could shoot that bomb out of a cannon.
Magnificent! We should think of more ideas and write them down. These are great.

something like “look around, we’re being led by midgets and walking cabbages” in silverwastes is one of the favorites, but i know ive heard something much more insulting that i can’t remember

One of my favorites.

Black Citadel Tavern-Interchange between a male and a female Charr

Female standing in corner of the tavern is approached by a male Charr

Female: “Stay away from me, not interested!”
Male: “Well, well, kitten’s got claws.”
Female: “Kitten’s got sword too!”….Pulls out a great big sword and swings it around.

The male walks away with tail between his legs haha.

“By ogden’s hammer, what savings”

I thought this one was pretty funny

Tucked in the back of Dvinity’s Reach, there’s a big Norn weapons merchant with the following lines:

Helf Stonebrow: Like a crazed berserker, I am slashing prices!
Helf Stonebrow: No one is crazier than I am! With prices this low, I am practically giving things away!
Helf Stonebrow: No one has deals like I do! No beast! No man! No god! I am literally killing the competition!
Helf Stonebrow: My slaughter will flood this marketplace in an ocean of bloody bargains! Buy or die!

Then there’s this Asuran father – daughter – boyfriend gem:

Crabb: “Zapilicious greetings, Alli. What’s cracking? You must be Papa Xann. I’m Crabb of the Incinergen krewe.”
Xann: “Where are you taking my daughter, Crabb?”
Crabb: “Sir, I thought we’d go into the city for dinner at this little human place I know.”
Xann: “Human food? Zapil-ick!”
Alli: “We’d better get going, Crabb. See you later, father.”
Crabb: “Keep it snapping, Papa Xann. Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of Alli. She’s my own special phosphoradorable flower.”
Xann: “Oh, I’m not worried.”
Xann: “DOM-555i, engage. Initiate chaperone sequence.”
Alli: “Father!”
Xann: “You geniuses have a good time.”
DOM-555i: “Hands—where—I—can—see—them—at—all—times.”

Norn wandering up to a merchant:

Tierny: How can I help you?
Uwe Roaldson: I need ale, and I need it now!
Tierny: This isn’t a bar.
Uwe Roaldson: I’m almost sober. It’s horrible!

There’s a Pirates of Penzance (Gilbert and Sullivan) spoofl:
http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Captain_Penzan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0ch1No7298

And there’s this little gem nearby:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOVHzn7Rudc

You heard Grast!
You heard Grast!
You heard Grast!
You heard Grast!
You heard Grast!

Death…good.

“Ran into an Asura… Called me a bookah… I think she was hitting on me.”
human in Divinity’s Reach

“Any plan that involves Raptors is by design foolproof. I’m an unmitigated genius!”

“I suppose you expect some sort of effusive thanks for your efforts, but a job well-done is its own reward, so no thanks for you.”

Ploint in Metrica Province.

not really my favorite due to how often the NPC say it but “more violets less violence” any sylvari npc ANY

Nezia.8154:

Female Asura Necromancer summoning minions:
“Rise, my brainless!”

Female Asura Necromancer when minions die:
“Good thing I didn’t name that one!”

…‘Uh, I didn’t think it would pop like that’

I miss the one between the child and the charr next to the bank in old Lion’s Arch.

Kid: Your face is funny; all squished and weird.

Charr: Your face is funny; it’s like a little raisin.

I might not remember it right.

“That is your more attractive side!” ~ when running from a Centaur

“You’re dumb. You’ll die, and you’ll leave a dumb corpse!” – Somewhere in the priory

“Yahoo!” – Every guy charr

Coldtart.4785:

You heard Grast!
You heard Grast!
You heard Grast!
You heard Grast!
You heard Grast!

^ +1

Honestly I actually like the saying by certain Human Male NPC’s in Divinity’s Reach “I’m rich you know” It just sounds like they’re propositioning everyone and in a really creepy way.

(From a Charr in a lumber camp somewhere in Ascalon)

“How much wood could a fahrar charr tar if a fahrar charr could tar wood?”

The quaggan that hums the gw2 theme
I think it’s in Caledon Forest but I’m really not sure
Also that one asura in the asuraian home instance with the cat who says something about being “as humble as a sexy genius such as myself can be”

Apples.. apples for sale!
Ask me about an apple!
What part of secret organization don’t you understand?

I love tybalt

Overheard long time ago in old Lion’s Arch (paraphrasing from memory)

“My guild is so full of drama”
“What’s it called?”
“The Traveling Thespians”..

Also not in game but one of my favorites from GW1, from Zhed Shadowhoof, a centaur hero:

“I was taught peace by my people, and war by humans. If I am violent, then I can only offer you congratulations. Your kind won.”

Researching/studying Hyleks!

I have 2 favorites, both involve a charr either talking to or about a Sylvari

First one, you have gone to recruit Galina and Snarl and in talking to her she calls Trahearne twiggy.

“We? There is no “we,” twiggy. I’m not interested in a waterlogged Ash deserter. Do whatever you please"

In the other Tegwen has just basically committed suicide to save everyone.

Afterwards when you are all talking about her sacrifice Ballista Geargrind says…..

“Count on that. She was a tough old stick, and she fought well”

I also always laugh when I greet a friendly skritt and they respond
“what what whaaaaaaaaaaatt”

Nike.2631:

“No one is arguing the need for a plan… It’s just that your plan is stupid and won’t work.”

I always start that dungeon off with a smile.

Yeah, one of my favorites as well.

“Skritt, I’m hit!”

Kiayin.3427:

Researching/studying Hyleks!

Caught in a landslide? No escape from reality?

What about everyone’s favorite Hoelbrak greeter?

“TAKE HEED! I HAVEN’T TAKEN LEAVE OF MY SENSES!”
“TAKE HEED!”
“TAKE HEED! I-”
…Y’all get the point. =P

Ah, but thanks to this thread, I relive some old favorites and chuckle at some new ones. Keep it going!

edgarallanpwn.8739:

Apples.. apples for sale!
Ask me about an apple!
What part of secret organization don’t you understand?

I love tybalt

Lightbringer Tybalt Leftpaw: Burn me, I’m a human girl! Whoa, I’ve got two hands and some lovely…apples.

Lightbringer Tybalt Leftpaw: Oh, wow. How do humans walk without tails?

Captain Conerry: Well, hello there, lovely. Are you here to board my barge? Heh. Heh.
Lightbringer Tybalt Leftpaw: Oh, brother. I fought off Ministry Guards for this?
Captain Conerry: Come aboard miss. Right this way. It’s a pleasure to have such a pretty young thing gracing the Harpy’s Smile.
Lightbringer Tybalt Leftpaw: Tee-hee-hee. What a bold sailor you are. I’m all a-swoon! You really should be shot for making a girl blush so badly. I mean it, buddy. Shot!

Adventurer: Hey, which way to the outhouse?
Citizen: We don’t have outhouses. We have water closets.
Adventurer: Like latrines?
Citizen: Nope. They all flow into the same sewer system, and that all goes out to sea.
Adventurer: That’s more than I really needed to know.
Citizen: Hey, you asked. Just don’t ask me if anything lives down there.
Adventurer: You’ve got a deal.

-The best

Azure The Heartless.3261:

“Yahoo!” – Every guy charr

That one is actually “Wahoo!” not yahoo.

Also my favourite was Rox during the Molten Foundry when she said: “Now we’ll get the flock out of here”

Galina Edgecrusher. That is all.

http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Test_Your_Metal

While operating the Blood Legion cannon:

• Wake up, ghost-mice of Ascalon! Blood Legion is here to take everything you have — again!
• Your land and your lives: ours! We will erase you! Tyria will forget your pathetic kindgom ever existed!
• We defile the bones of your ancestors for sport! Adelbern’s grave is our latrine!
• I hear you sniveling, you glittery clouds of failure! Ha ha ha!
• That’s not thunder, you whimpering little worms! It’s cannonfire! Blood Legion cannonfire!
• Go back to the Mists and stay there! End this humiliation!
• You’re hopeless! Helpless! Worthless! Adelbern’s army is a joke… a pathetic, dead joke.
• No wonder your city fell so easily! No wonder we slaughtered you all and laughed ourselves sick!
• We’re laughing now, Dead-scalonians! You don’t like it? Come shut us up!