Guild Wars 2

This thread will be a lighthearted collection of the funniest things you have heard in pvp and the biggest fails you have seen. Dont put any specific names or guilds in your story.

Ill start it off with one i can think off the top of my head. My last game in team arena I had a thief say “We should try capturing the points this game guys” to his team. The way she said it was like it was something she just thought of. We lost that match

Had a warrior tell a thief to bunker home because thats what thieves are good at – dude was serious

Had a warrior say his only job was to support with banners, thats it. Thats all he did.
dude was full banner warrior with healing surge.

Had a guy tell our team his job was to stay in base and protect boss all game on foefire. Ill tell you one thing, that boss didnt freaking die all game. He did his job kitten well even tho no one ever went to base.

Whats yours

This post isn’t about the funniest thing you heard on the forums or an live stream. If you want to post a bitter comment use the other 4000 threads like that.

went to temple
see enemy war and ranger pulling out bows
stole axe from warriors → blind field → used axe to reflect crap they were shooting at me
they both stood in it and ate own dmg and died
stomped both in blind powder
they on map chat: “thieves are OP”
me: …

Anytime people start playing the blame game/biotching at the end of a soloQ, I giggle a little. Because instead of communicating/being productive during the match they start talking at the end.

In Tpvp an enemy warrior decided to not bring ANY stability.. said to my engi team mate “ENGI IS SO OP, PLEASE STOP CC’ING ME, ENGI NEEDS NERF SO BAD” we called target on him and chain CC’ed him for the rest of the match.
We still won but annoying this guy was far more important

Also Pugging Khylo Tpvp on condi thief, I got into a 2v1 at enemy treb, asked for help 3 times and managed to get away to keep poking the 2 at treb, my team got farmed at Mid for half the match.. I suggested we take out the treb again and got the response “come help at mid, we’re losing because you AFK at close point” /sigh

@Oraith
i said to the guyz before match start “plz dont go far – let us win mid first” and the engi answered “stop raging”

i gave up on this^^ – ppl nowadays are sensible

Oraith.1732:

Anytime people start playing the blame game/biotching at the end of a soloQ, I giggle a little. Because instead of communicating/being productive during the match they start talking at the end.

My is similar :p. I tried to comunicate tactics at start of the game and coordinate while the game was runing and only 1 guy did respond back/wrote in chat. Than we lost and at the end one guy, who didnt say anything whole match, said in map chat: “This team…”.

warriors are op, gets me every time because warriors are perfect balance, although ele is probably .9 warrior while engy is like 1.25 warrior

Common themes:
Anyone who spams the chat 5+ times in a row with the same message.
Anyone who complains about being beaten while out-manned. Not talking about the team having more people. Just losing to 2v1 or so.

Peeves:
People who leave skyhammer within 10s of it starting makes me unhappy, as it is already quite annoying to play.
People who tell me they’re spectating me to learn about the class and I end up playing horribly after.

Go pve useless ele.

:)

3days ago soloQ me and a thief 2v2 with a pu mesmer and staff ele on a point,we downed the ele and the mesmer didnt even try to res then killed the mes and had the point.
then we see in /mapchat “why didnt you res ?”from the ele asking the mes
mes:“i dont res staff ele’s”
they lost 500/40

They deserved that lost, playing an ele, really !!

I always tell my team to go fight and win while i discuss tactics with our lord..

“warriors are balanced”

A guardian who from the beginning till the end tried to kill enemy boss on foefire. Sufficed to say, he never came even close to the boss.

cottage.3274:

/mapchat “why didnt you res ?”from the ele asking the mes
mes:“i dont res staff ele’s”
they lost 500/40

Most people don’t understand how the ele class works and it’s amusing.
There are a lot of times people don’t rez downed. I don’t know why this is. I can understand if it’s in treb-fire or something, but otherwise you are deliberately giving the other team points, and not gaining any glory from the rez.

Won 4/5 as glass staff.
From solo queue (NA) yesterday:

Message from mid enemy guardian that “Spirit Ranger is OP”. I’ve been runing Trap build…

When people tell you to “L2Cleave” when you’re using a ranger sword.

When people talk smack to you, and you win the game by 200 points in both personal score and team points. AND THEY STILL TALK SMACK.

Rym.1469:

Message from mid enemy guardian that “Spirit Ranger is OP”. I’ve been runing Trap build…

I was on my ranger running DPS LB/GS and some guy said “Brian is a typical bad trap ranger.” SMH my only trap is a chill…

spirit ranger team is the best.

When someone gets killed and starts calling the person who killed him a noob.

Rezz.8019:

“warriors are balanced”

That’s what we have Balanced Stance for.

An Ele blaming rest of team for loss.

This isn’t talk about class balance thread

There was a thread a few months ago like this one, it was called “Famous Last Words” or something. Anyways, my quote for this thread is still the same one as the one that I used for that thread:

Arganthium.5638:

While I was stealth stomping a player once…
“The coward is strong in you”

Lolllll…

One time in 8 vs 8 hot join some mace/shield guardian said that we should try to cap some points.

People asking for ress when they are at less than 10% hp and two enemies focusing them.

Aka: they want someone else to share death with.

redslion.9675:

Rezz.8019:

“warriors are balanced”

That’s what we have Balanced Stance for.

Ba dum psssssschhhhhhhhhhh

Emapudapus.1307:

My is similar :p. I tried to comunicate tactics at start of the game and coordinate while the game was runing and only 1 guy did respond back/wrote in chat. Than we lost and at the end one guy, who didnt say anything whole match, said in map chat: “This team…”.

Hahahaha! That sounds just like me! I always say it on team chat though… I also noticed that people do stay silent during the pre-match period. I always ask “strategy?” and only one person would reply (and sometimes you get the stale “win!” joke..)

Somehow, when the game is over and our team loses the members magically learn about the art of using your keyboard to communicate, and they begin to insult one another or try to pin the blame on someone.

A MM Necro calling my Thief OP while I successfully 1v1’d him.

Emapudapus.1307:

Oraith.1732:

Anytime people start playing the blame game/biotching at the end of a soloQ, I giggle a little. Because instead of communicating/being productive during the match they start talking at the end.

My is similar :p. I tried to comunicate tactics at start of the game and coordinate while the game was runing and only 1 guy did respond back/wrote in chat. Than we lost and at the end one guy, who didnt say anything whole match, said in map chat: “This team…”.

They are too skilled to talk about strategy, it seems to me.

However, I see that most of the time the strategy is “go mid”. If people lose the first fight at mid, they’ll keep running at it one at a time. So it will end up with people that keep dying.

Everyone is afraid to go far, but sometimes is important. I’ve seen many times people raging at two guys who got far, capped it and defended it for kinda long time until they got outnumbered. While the “pros” were trying to take down two guardians nesting on mid.

What I realized is: we all make mistakes in tourneys, this mode is pretty chaotic as it is. What brings the win is a coherent strategy that applies to the foe you are facing.

Funniest thing in PVP has to be “ALL IS VAIN”

got a WTF SKYHAM moment in solo tpvp in which the enemy team relogged to get their cheesy skyhammer troll builds. 4 of them to be exact.But suprisingly their cheese ain’t good enough.

Managed to win 3 games in a row without saying ALL IS VAIN, a very rare thing these days.

I was on my ele and I killed a thief in two seconds, then he went on say “Worst ele ever”. Was I supposed to kill him in 1 second like most of the other classes do or what? :P

Josh Davis.6015:

Funniest thing I’ve ever heard in PvP?

Hard to say. Map chat in Anvil Rock’s Heart of the Mists at launch was like the wild west. I’m sure we could fill a few pages of quotes.

Careful; if you posted a few pages of competitive banter, this forum would probably get deleted too.

An Engi jumped in forest in a Group of warriors at midpoint and screamed “YOLO!”
he died the death of a hero
#neverforget

had a guy say i was speedhacking on my thief when i was using signet of shadows -_- and he said … of all things…he screenshotted me and was gonna prove to Anet/devs i was speedhacking…..

think about this for a second.

A while ago, to get better with shortbow as a thief (and to provide SOME type of a challenge in this game), i decided to only kill people with my shortbow. After I got done playing, i racked up at least 3 people i killed using only shortbow calling me cheap. I didn’t even backstab them once – lol.

redslion.9675:

People asking for ress when they are at less than 10% hp and two enemies focusing them.

Aka: they want someone else to share death with.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0354766/

As for funny things…
- I remember this one guy ‘doing tryouts’ for ‘a new pro team’. Me and 3 other guys joined in for one game out of curiosity. Guy was like ‘ok you make strategy, I’m just here to watch’, then he completely ignored what we settled for. Kept running into 1v3’s, walking around where he could port (a Thief), going far and getting killed there over and over… in general being more of a liability than an asset to the team. Needless to say no one stayed for another round of tryouts.
- Got accused of macro and/or hacking couple times after doing backstab combos with double shadowstep… Guess people forgot spamming #3 on S/D is not the only way to play thief.
- After killing some guy with 30/30/10/0/0 GS/LB Ranger – “Yeah, spam 1 all day. Noob spirit ranger”.
- Symbolic, defending me like a lion, when my guildmates started trolling on map chat and accusing me of macro, farming Skyhammer and whatnot. (Love you <3)

Could probably write a book with quotes from Desolation Mists chat, but that would get me instabanned.

This game will be an esport – anet 2012.

That was pretty hilarious in hindsight

Guild teamspeak when a friend beat one of anet’s ‘balance team’ using a frenzy warrior.

The petting zoo comment from the PAX finals wins though… I mean, joking about the state of your meta and lack of balance in such a way was rather ammusing.

Lets see i was testing a bunker warrior build in Hot join just to see how they played and someone yelled out “Someone is playing a bunker warrior. Stop treating hotjoins like Tpvp!”

“Warriors aren’t overpowered.”

After killing a warrior – “Eles are so OP”

I was trying out a tanky-ish ranger build in hotjoin one day (without spirits), I had an enemy thief follow me around the ENTIRE match. I attempted to kill him a few times but he had constant stealth and I didn’t have the best damage output so I just ignored him and ran around capping points with him stealthing in and out like a ninja…I didn’t die once, and capped my fair share of points. After the match he raged about me running away like a coward -.-

Another time in soloQ I was holding home and my team had failed to take mid after 3 attempts. I knew this was because of the enemy bunker, so I told my team to take and hold far hoping to spread out the field. 3 of my teammates listened, took far and were defending it like a boss against the other 4 enemies! While the one guy who ignored me, continued to insult my plan and ran mid for the rest of the game. Needless to say we won holding side points and that one teammate died over and over against the other teams bunker.

oh, good times ;)

http://tinypic.com/r/i5nkb7/5

Right after I destroyed 2 players underwater within 5 seconds Powershroud build with zerker amulet

Ostricheggs (very popular PvP streamer on twitch.tv) was playing his popgun hero (which if you didn’t know is a complete glass cannon killshot warrior) and i decided to try engi, we’re roughly the same MMR so when i got into the match and faced him at home. He tried to killshot me and infront of around 150 people on his stream. I hit shield 4, his killshot reflected and he 1 shot himself and I remember saying “learn engi’s skills, noob”

good times….

SoloQ. I’m bunkering in the Clocktower with my guardian when an asura warrior from my team appears. 5-6 seconds later 3 of the other team attack us, I’m trying to defend the point and the warrior is not fighting at all. He’s running in a circle into the point screaming “don’t allow them to catch me, don’t allow them to kill me…”. I was about to die from laughter.

Funniest things you heard in PvP?

the ridicule of the meta by one who helped to make this

Funniest things you heard in PvP?

! Guild Wars 2 PvP is not Death and really Good !