Guild Wars 2

I think we need a Thief FAQ.

• Is Thief really the fastest profession?
  Yes indeed.
  If the profession you are comparing with didn’t kill you before, that is.

• Who is Thief best against?
  Afk players.
  We simply obliterate them.
  They don’t stand a stance. (Y’know, because afk players only stand around? Such pun, much good)
  Worst case scenario, your opponent got some retaliation and it will end in a downstate battle.

• Can Thief beat anyone in a downstate battle?
  Yes!
  As long as they are afk.

• Is it worth to try out a Thief?
  Definitely.
  Only when you have experienced real suffering you can enjoy playing a profession. No more qq after that, because you know it could be worse.

• Which professions do Thieves fear?
  Any class with an A inside.
  - WArrior
  - RevenAnt
  - GuArdian
  - RAnger
  - Angineer
  - NecromAncer
  - ElementAlist
  - MesmA

• Is Mesmer a better Thief?
  Yes. But backstab gets you higher single number! OP!

• Do you stomp or cleave downed people?
  First you gotta get them down, good luck with that. But as long as there are uplevels there is still hope for the fancy Teleport-all-over-the-place-stomp and precursers in loot bags.

• How do I kill a D/D Cele Elementalist?
  You can’t kill an Elementalist, you can only beat them.

• How do I beat a D/D Cele Elementalist?
  You beat Elementalists by not dying, because for Thief thats the same achievement as winning for other classes. You also have the moral high ground for not having to win against someone in order to beat them.

• Is Revenants or Thiefs dodge effect better?
  Until BWE3, it’s the Thief’s dodge effect! So hurry and be happy until it may be too late!

• Can I be useful for a team as a Thief?
  Yes you can! (-Barack Obama)
  How? TBD Try to not rallybot, thats as useful as a Thief can get.

• What should I learn first as a Thief?
  Because I’m a nice person I’m gonna give you a whole list.
  1. First you should learn the down skills. You will likely spend 50% of your time down or waiting to respawn, so you should get comfortable with them.
  2. Then you should learn to accept when you lost a fight. That is usually as soon as opponents start noticing you.
  3. Next you should learn your most used rotation, named GTFO: SB #5 -> SB #5 -> Heal -> Shadowstep, continue with SB #5
  4. The last thing on this list is to learn to deal with your rage and disappointment towards the Thief profession. The easiest way to deal with this is to roll an Elementalist or Guardian and stomp other Thieves while watching a series or cutting your finger nails.

Stay positive and wait for the next buff/fix to Thief (and for a random precurser drop while you’re at it).

In the meanwhile, I’ll think back fondly to the 2013 days of thiefhood.

Anybody remember when we were actually good at skirmising in SPvP, being able to actually fight other players inbetween decapping and +1’ing?

Thank you. This post was fun and hilarious to read! Made my day! Hopefully one day thief will return to it’s former glory.

that made me laugh quite a bit^^

laughed so hard,made my day!

Hahhah, pretty good read. Not terribly inaccurate either.

lol you beat a D/D ele by not dying. That is so true.

I fought eles many times, but there were those times when you felt like you won because you made it past the gate in WvW with like 2 hp. Felt like Victory.

Let’s make OP the High Priest/ess of the Thieve’s Den. Who’s with me?

I’m French and… Thank you for this post. Very funny and unfortunately, so real !

-Addendum-

How do you build a ‘zerker/valk’?

First buy HoT. Then roll a Warrior. Equip Warrior with Valkyrie Armor.

too true :/
/15 charrs with apples

Cynz.9437:

/15 charrs with apples

TYYYYBBBAAAAAALLLLLLTTTTT!!!

Bummer, I came to this thread ready to take notes, but this place is spiraling down the rabbit hole pretty fast.

kash.9213:

but this place is spiraling down the rabbit hole pretty fast.

very fitting with the state of the class then

10/10 OP, made me laugh, then I cried because it’s not inaccurate either

1111/10,
Will read again.

Can we get this stickied please. (Or have this constantly bumped)

Also,
The GTFO rotation needs some dodges in there to get the speed buff so you can run faster.

Zero Day.2594:

1111/10,
Will read again.

Can we get this stickied please. (Or have this constantly bumped)

Also,
The GTFO rotation needs some dodges in there to get the speed buff so you can run faster.

If only Thief can dodge as often and as efficient as the Devs….if only.

is it sad that this is actually true for me
“You beat Elementalists by not dying, because for Thief thats the same achievement as winning for other classes. You also have the moral high ground for not having to win against someone in order to beat them.” but i actually get more achievement by not dying from other classes than i do killing people

Zero Day.2594:

1111/10,
Will read again.

Can we get this stickied please. (Or have this constantly bumped)

Also,
The GTFO rotation needs some dodges in there to get the speed buff so you can run faster.

True I need to overthink that rotation again, you just revealed its weakness…

And in general thanks guys ^^

Also, the Gu*a*di*a*n has two *a*’s – So it should be feared twice more.

Zero Day.2594:

Also, the Gu*a*di*a*n has two *a*’s – So it should be feared twice more.

Oh crap I missed that o_0

I laughed, then felt a little sad.

Zero Day.2594:

Also, the Gu*a*di*a*n has two *a*’s – So it should be feared twice more.

Ah, you mean the GODian??? :-(

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hahahahaha
hahaha
haha
haa…

:’(

Don’t worry guys, we have stealth!

:)
:|
:(

Come on guys, think positive.
Thieves might not be as strong as last year, but they are still a lot stronger than they will be next year!

MarauderShields.6830:

Come on guys, think positive.
Thieves might not be as strong as last year, but they are still a lot stronger than they will be next year!

And this will be my new sign with you permiss sir.

MarauderShields.6830:

Come on guys, think positive.
Thieves might not be as strong as last year, but they are still a lot stronger than they will be next year!

Ooh that’s dirty. Thief is the new necro.

Kolly.9872:

And this will be my new sign with you permiss sir.

I’m honored

This is great! Thanks for the laughs