Guild Wars 2

…and this is my first time attending Co-dependants Anonymous.

It all started that fateful day when I first met him; the Big Z. The rotting flesh, the putrid green aura, the multiple heads; what’s not to love, right? And that raw, primal lust for power with all those undead minions worshiping at his feet. Made me weak in the wings.

Back then, I’d do anything for him…anything. And I did, too. “Stand on the beach and look menacing but don’t actually pose a threat.”, he said. I – star-struck – obediently complied, “Yes, Big Z. Anything for you Big Z.”

Over time, though, there was a growing emptiness inside me. I just chocked it up to an empty stomach and figured a few dozen adventurer hors d’oeuvres would satisfy my hunger. Alas – tasty as they were – they did not sate the growing void within.

Something was missing. That something was me. I’d repressed my own needs so Big Z could take all the glory. He was just using me and I – foolishly – allowed it to happen. I enabled his attention seeking behavior…his narcissism…at the expense of my own nature. I look back now and think how could I have been so stupid.

When I finally confronted him with the news that I wouldn’t allow myself to be used anymore, he just laughed. “There’s a million more where you came from, sweet cheeks.”, he derisively chuckled. It stung, but at least I had asserted myself. I had finally broken his spell over me. I was free.

Recovery has been hard. After so long of standing in one place, my fitness level is shot. I can barely fly anymore; it’s more of a glorified leap. But each day I’m working to get stronger; I can even hover a little bit now.

And, as emotionally cruel as his treatment of me was, I do have to thank Big Z for giving me control over my own squad of undead minions. I’m trying not to do to them what I allowed Big Z to do to me. I’m encouraging their independence…facilitating their efforts at self-discovery. Of course, that’s quite the uphill battle when dealing with mindless Risen; but you have to have goals. I see glimmers of hope, though, as they start to push a little bit further inland. They try so hard; it makes me smile.

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Long-term? Well, I’d really like to return to where I started. The scourge of the skies. The sower of pestilence and plague. The dark winged harbinger of death and destruction. Of course, that’s going to take awhile. Something – some unseen force…as…if…as if…I was being controlled…or…hmmm?…like I’m following a script – is holding me back. I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s just…I’m a FREAKING dragon, ok! There’s so much MORE I could be doing than standing around on a beach. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Hmmm? What’s that? “Like what?”, you ask? I don’t know. Just…something. I want to be ME. I want to travel. I want to see what the world looks like beyond the Splintered Coast. Fly inland a bit, visit some of the coastal communities, and sample their fine local delicacies like Asura Appetizers, Sylvari Salad, Hylek Hummus. You know, taste what the world has to offer. I’m tired of sand between my claws all the time.

I also want to challenge myself. That’s the only way we grow. I’m tired of all these pesky little ants milling about my feet. They’re dumb as bricks, I tell you. No, I do not need my 1,000th pedicure with a greatsword, thank…you…very…much. I mean, it’s the same ol’, same ol’. Back in the Big Z days, they hit me, I feign injury, then jump back into the ocean…and that’s even when I’m beating them. But that’s how Big Z wanted it, so that’s what I did.

No more; I want something better for myself. I want a challenge and these tiny sand mites biting at my heels ain’t cuttin’ it. Sure, they’ve got their mega-laser; bully for them. What do they expect me to do, just STAND there while they fire at me?!?! I did that for Big Z…I ain’t doin’ that no more!

No…if they want to shoot me, they’re going to have to work for it. They’re going to have to do more than swing away at my feet. They’ll have to figure out how to climb up on my back and beat me into submission first if they expect to get a clear shot with that laser thingy. And just to make it REALLY interesting, they’re going to have to manage that WHILE I’M IN FLIGHT! And if I just happen to do a mid-air roll and dump them in the drink, too bad, so sad for them. Ha! How do you like them apples, you so-called-adventurers?!?!

And NOW when I beat them? Hehehehehe! No more jumping back into the sea and swimming away. If they lose, there’s going to be consequences; believe…you…me. I’m taking this show on the road, baby, and the Risen are coming with me!!! I’ve had my fill of Splintered Coast; Aleem’s Penance, Chokevine Gorge, Shattercleft Hills, here…I…come. Heck, maybe with a good agent, I could even book all of Sparkfly Fen if the fleas can’t figure out how to hold me back. I’m returning to my roots and spreading the corruption I was born to spread, one waypoint at a time.

Of course, that’s all just a dream. But at least now I have a dream; something to work towards. With Big Z, I had nothing.

I’m also making connections with The Shatterer and The Claw of Jormag. They’re where I used to be; enablers unable to see a way out of their situation. In helping them find the courage to break free, I feel like I’m giving back…reaffirming my own commitment to myself. We have to take care of ourselves because – if we don’t – no one else will.

So that’s my story.

My name’s Tequatl and I’m a co-dependent enabler.