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Posted by: QVor.5697

QVor.5697

“Guild Wars 2” – 2: The Wrath of Mordremoth

Is Mordremoth the third evolution of Bulbasaur?

Attachments:

(edited by QVor.5697)

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Posted by: Pink Ninja Man.4375

Pink Ninja Man.4375

These are good, ArenaNet put this in the loading screen text area (like the beta announcements). Would give you something to smile about while loading in a zone.

How did the ranger acquire new pets?

He Druid… >_<

Twitch – PinkNinjaMan [/\///\/_//\]
Main Class – Ranger [Bezerker/Trapper Hybrid]
Main Mode – WvW [Gate of Madness]

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Posted by: Lahmia.2193

Lahmia.2193

Why are Necromancers so rich?

Because of all the wishing wells.

Surrender and serve me in life, or die and slave for me in death.

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Posted by: lioka qiao.8734

lioka qiao.8734

What do you call a sylvari on an arrow cart?
- A salad shooter.

Heard on the radio at Rata Sum that an inquest mesmer broke out of the brig. They said there was a small medium at large.

Little red Lioka

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Posted by: Lahmia.2193

Lahmia.2193

4 Necros and a Ranger walk into a bar.
The barman says “Meta only” before being 1 shotted by the boss.
He then blames the Necros and Ranger.

Surrender and serve me in life, or die and slave for me in death.

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Posted by: CadeRG.4508

CadeRG.4508

I made my elementalist a Norn, so I can always be in Eir attunement.

Vaulting daredevil leap frog teef of AoE destruction

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Posted by: Sidenti.6035

Sidenti.6035

So I was riding my magic carpet around the lower-middle portions of Lion’s Arch, and wouldn’t you know it – someone forced me off my ride and stole it!

I guess what I’m trying to say is: Be careful in South Central LA.

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Posted by: penelopehannibal.8947

penelopehannibal.8947

Scentaurs invented perfume.

Kodans often go to the bank to check their balance.

Blood & Merlot [Wine]

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Posted by: steve.2945

steve.2945

an asuran ranger joins a party, he knocked a mob back, the party looked around, and couldn’t find who did the knockback.

Proud TTS member

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Posted by: Sidenti.6035

Sidenti.6035

I had a great one about artificers who prefer potions made with rooster blood, but the kitten filter won’t let me say it. :-p

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Posted by: Pompeia.5483

Pompeia.5483

Best way to confuse an Asuran:

Given: X Norns, Y Asurans, and Z Humans walk into a bar. Why is anyone left standing?

“Wait… what?”

Amanda Corsiva – Revenant && Katereyna – Chillomancer
Jenna Gracen – Scrapper && Merit Sullivan – Guardian
Daenerys Ceridwen – Druid && Vexia Gracen – Chronomancer

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Posted by: Jan nD.9453

Jan nD.9453

Why are there no risen centaur’s?

ANet doesn’t want us beating a dead horse.

this omg XD

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Posted by: AegisRunestone.8672

AegisRunestone.8672

I have some really bad ones that I’ve shamefully stolen.

Which dragon is best with computers?
Tech-quatl.

How does Jormag like his tea?
Ice-Brewed.

That’s all I got. :P

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Posted by: Ariurotl.3718

Ariurotl.3718

Kodans often go to the bank to check their balance.

I laughed out loud at this one, and I’m not even ashamed.

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Posted by: DarkWasp.7291

DarkWasp.7291

A Charr, an Asura and a Human banded together one day to clear the evil from a realm.

  • The Charr used his greatsword to cleave through waves of undead.
  • The Asura used his ingenuity to outsmart a giant.
  • The Human called down the power of Balthazar to finish off the final and deadliest foe.

As a reward, their party was presented with ONE legendary weapon. Who was deemed worthy of the weapon?


Trahearne

^ Uses Guild Wars 2 character screenshots for desktop wallpapers.

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Posted by: Vue Skies.1635

Vue Skies.1635

Ones digging, cannot go beyond one’s shovels.

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Posted by: Wrapthor.1057

Wrapthor.1057

Female human elementalist: “Feel the power of Bulbasuar!” (Balthazar)

Can’t unhear it when they attune to fire. :P

Wrapthor(Thief) Hybrid S/P, P/P or Staff
Tyxenuin (Guardian) Tank M/F, H
Roamer in WvW Ehmry Bay

(edited by Wrapthor.1057)

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Posted by: Pyriel.4370

Pyriel.4370

The Margonites are early adopters of Abaddon before it was cool but you probably haven’t heard of him.

“I can outrun a centaur!” It was at this moment he knew……he messed up.

It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes and I yelled, I said, “What do you want from us, Dragon?” And the Dragon bent down, and said, “I need about tree-fitty.”

Don’t these Quaggan seem fishy to you?

“Again! Again! Again!” Coming soon! Baby Chronomancer!

“What do you mean furries?” This was the last time Rytlock went downtown Lion’s Arch.

The Sylvari were a surprise to all of Tyria when they arrived, you should have seen the look on the Vegan’s faces!

(edited by Pyriel.4370)

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Posted by: BunjiKugashira.9754

BunjiKugashira.9754

What does the Sylvari engineer shout while running out of the jungle?
- Bomb planted!

Shana Flamewielder
Sylvari Elementalist of [SFF]
Abaddons Maul

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Posted by: CadeRG.4508

CadeRG.4508

I would tell a Trahearne joke, but I’m too busy doing all this work.

Vaulting daredevil leap frog teef of AoE destruction

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Posted by: Firelysm.4967

Firelysm.4967

I prefer more gore type of jokes, so i’ll mark it as spoiler :P

What’s a bad quaggan situation? ...8 quaggans in one box.
What’s even worst? ...1 quaggan in 8 boxes.

Wish I could get back to GW1.. PvP-GvG. It feels like we are outcasted, not desired or rewarded..

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Posted by: Reem.3578

Reem.3578

I prefer more gore type of jokes, so i’ll mark it as spoiler :P

What’s a bad quaggan situation? ...8 quaggans in one box.
What’s even worst? ...1 quaggan in 8 boxes.

NoOoOoOo why did you say this??? >_<

What is a quaggan’s favorite pvp map?
Legacy of the foo-fire! :P

“You judge too much with your eyes alone…”

And yes, i play [Teef] :)

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Posted by: Lehka.8791

Lehka.8791

Why does Engineers always have Ascended armor?
- Grinding gears ain’t nothing new for them.

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Posted by: Mad Queen Malafide.7512

Mad Queen Malafide.7512

How many Asura does it take to blow up a reactor?
Three! One to bring up safety concerns, and two more to disagree with him.

Too soon?

Alright, another:

A bunch of dragons are sitting in a bar, discussing their worst fears. “Giant lawnmowers”, Mordremoth confesses. “Exploding golems”, The Claw of Jormag says. “Laser guns!”, admits Tequatl The Sunless. “Laser guns are way worse than any lawnmower or exploding golem.”

For a moment there’s a silence. Then Tequatl notices Zhaitan sitting over in a corner. “Hey boss, you should join us. Tell us what you’re most afraid of”. Zhaitan shakes his many heads. “Nah, I think I’ll just stay right here and not move at all.”

“Madness is just another way to view reality”
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-On3Ya0_4Y)

(edited by Mad Queen Malafide.7512)

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Posted by: penelopehannibal.8947

penelopehannibal.8947

A Human, a Norn, an Asura and a Quaggan are stood in Sparkfly Fen, waiting for Tequatl. Whilst they’re waiting, they’re having a conversation.

Human: “Oh, I’ve got news for you, I’m pregnant!”
Norn: “By Raven, what a coincidence you’re telling me this, for I am pregnant too!”
Asura: “Excelsior! This is uncanny, I too, happen to be with progeny!”
Human: “Wow, this is really weird huh? We’re all getting pregnant at the same time. What could it be?”

The Quaggan replies as Tequatl rises “There’s something in the water….”

Blood & Merlot [Wine]

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Posted by: Bathos.6341

Bathos.6341

If Trahere were were a tree, what would he be?
A FACE PALM!

Why are Elder dragons, huge, evil and scaley?
Beacause if they were small, harmless and hairy they’d be coconuts.

Did you hear about the all female charr warband? They’re called Charrly’s Angels

(edited by Bathos.6341)

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Posted by: Charrbeque.8729

Charrbeque.8729

Why do Kodans travel south for the winter? They’re bi-polar bears.

There’s something charming about rangers.

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Posted by: Yumiko Ishida.3769

Yumiko Ishida.3769

A Human, a Norn, an Asura and a Quaggan are stood in Sparkfly Fen, waiting for Tequatl. Whilst they’re waiting, they’re having a conversation.

Human: “Oh, I’ve got news for you, I’m pregnant!”
Norn: “By Raven, what a coincidence you’re telling me this, for I am pregnant too!”
Asura: “Excelsior! This is uncanny, I too, happen to be with progeny!”
Human: “Wow, this is really weird huh? We’re all getting pregnant at the same time. What could it be?”

The Quaggan replies as Tequatl rises “There’s something in the water….”

That’s a good one! My elementalist is also pregnant atm.

Yumiko Emi Ishida 80 Ele, Hikari Kyoko Ishida 80 Guard TC-NA. Active RPer of NA megaserver.

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Posted by: Chrono.6928

Chrono.6928

I heard one the other day that made me laugh.

How does Trahearne change a light bulb?

“Commander, a word.”

This

PvP joke/taunt after a crushing victory, “I would say good game but I was taught not to lie.”

(edited by Chrono.6928)

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Posted by: supa suop.8026

supa suop.8026

How did the Asura discover inception?

They did a quest with an inquest!

I ask a friend if he is ready to kill Mordremoth.

He said, “sure am. I bought a big can of bugspray for the occasion”

[SoS] PvX Thief,
The world could use more S/x Thief
FIST FLURRY! ORA!!

(edited by supa suop.8026)

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Posted by: VOLKON.1290

VOLKON.1290

Ah, Norn love their moots. Tales of heroism, conquest, vanquish, it all flows as fast as the ale as Norn gather to boast of their legends and, if all goes well, add one more conquest in that of the opposite sex. However Norn men are as susceptible as others to the legendary infliction known as “beer goggles”. Many a Norn has spent the night with a ravaging beauty, but the reality is that, more often than not, it’s Eir today, Garm tomorrow.

#TeamJadeQuarry

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Posted by: PlagueParade.7942

PlagueParade.7942

If a sylvari falls in the forest and no one’s around to hear it does it make a sound?

I’ll make like a sylvari and leave now. =oP

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Posted by: Iona.2614

Iona.2614

Why can elementalists read their lorebooks in the dark? Because they are written in the lava font.

What is the favourite wine of the charr? Charrdonay.

Why did the the skritt raid the grove? Everything there was so silvari!

So my guardian friend decided to set up as a lawyer, she called her business ‘For great Justice!’

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Posted by: Dayra.7405

Dayra.7405

Nice one from ANet (https://forum-en.gw2archive.eu/forum/info/updates/Game-Update-Notes-October-23-2015/5638259):

“Mount Maelstrom:
Due to the weight of players, boxes surrounding the Golem Mark II have collapsed. Workers have carted their remnants away.”

Ceterum censeo SFR esse delendam!

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Posted by: Runya.3796

Runya.3796

What are Sylvan dogs made of? Bark.

If I get a rare item from a Destroyer, is it done medium rare?

What do you call lost alcohol in the woods? A spirit of the wild!

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Posted by: Charrbeque.8729

Charrbeque.8729

Why are the Kodan so afraid of the Norn?

Because the Norn have a right to bear arms.

There’s something charming about rangers.

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Posted by: Adine.2184

Adine.2184

Q: Where do Sylvari go for a drink ?
A: A Salad Bar

Q:Why was the priestess so mad?
A: The congregation wouldn’t Lyssan

Q:Why did the Sylvari leaf the pale tree?
A: They wanted to branch out

Q: why are Norn so prone to making mistakes ?
A: because to Eir is Norn

Q: How do people in ebonhawke like their meat?
A: Charr broiled .

Q:Why are norn always drunk
A: They couldnt bear the thought of being sober

Q: How do Char like their meat
A: Searing hot

Q: Why are some Sylvari so suborn
A:They’re rooted in their ways

Q: why do Quagan make a bad audience
A: because they always BoooOOOooo

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Posted by: Yumiko Ishida.3769

Yumiko Ishida.3769

Why do Elementalists always pout?
Cause they were taught in the ways of Aggression magic.

Yumiko Emi Ishida 80 Ele, Hikari Kyoko Ishida 80 Guard TC-NA. Active RPer of NA megaserver.

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Posted by: Just a flesh wound.3589

Just a flesh wound.3589

Why are the Kodan so afraid of the Norn?

Because the Norn have a right to bear arms.

Or

Why are the Kodan always glad to see a Norn weapons trader?

Because the Norn have the right to arm bears.

Be careful what you ask for
ANet may give it to you.

(edited by Just a flesh wound.3589)

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Posted by: Theloseronian.2075

Theloseronian.2075

Wars against the likes of Zhaitan and Modremoth really tend to dragon.

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Posted by: Vephar.8475

Vephar.8475

What’s a Quaggans favourite band?
FoOOoOoo Fighters

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Posted by: GamerOnline.3650

GamerOnline.3650

A sylvari walked into a salad bar and was promptly served.

(not sure if this is original or not, seems so obvious)

Farm responsibly, for you are not alone. Share the love, not the hate.
Support your local environmentally friendly farmers.
Asuran Mesmer Mind Tricks: “These aren’t the golems you’re looking for.”

(edited by GamerOnline.3650)

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Posted by: Zabiyaka.2567

Zabiyaka.2567

GW2: Dev Interview about the new LA (parody) by Noxxi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hZpwCxiin4

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Posted by: newbihack.7180

newbihack.7180

Warrior charging an enemy:
Warrior: On my mark!
Enemy: O.O
Warrior: Shake it off!
Enemy: lel

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Posted by: usnedward.9023

usnedward.9023

Yo momma so fat it takes 3 Mesmer ports to transport her…..

Granted Death – Necro
Consumed Hate – Thief
Unlucky Scrub – Ranger

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Posted by: imbalancedhero.3968

imbalancedhero.3968

I’m a healer /15char

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Posted by: Pyr O Desolation.5017

Pyr O Desolation.5017

what race follows you like a pokemon till you’re hungry?
Quaggans. Friendly cuisine, especially as mini-whale burgers.

It’s not always about winning, sometimes its about losing without feeling used.

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Posted by: Pyr O Desolation.5017

Pyr O Desolation.5017

why does a mesmer have to book at a hotel for 21?
her portal has a twenty man vacancy.

It’s not always about winning, sometimes its about losing without feeling used.

(edited by Pyr O Desolation.5017)

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Posted by: Soa Cirri.6012

Soa Cirri.6012

Did you hear about that ex-Vigil engineer who got sick of fighting the Claw of Jormag every day? Well he’s a total flake. He already quit his first new job at an accountancy firm just because they told him to “watch the ledgers.”

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Posted by: Lunarhound.7324

Lunarhound.7324

I’ll re-post one here that I put in its own thread a few months ago.

Why is Orr the kinkiest place in Tyria?

Because it’s fifty shades of grey.