Dear Humanss — The End Approachess!

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Posted by: Redenaz.8631

Redenaz.8631

I am krait and want to make friendsss.

I have come to Divinity’ss Reach to make friendss and learn to ssociety. I have learned the human language.

What sshould I ssee? What is bessst in human life?

Pleasse, I need your help!

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~The Storyteller – Elementalist – Jade Quarry~

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Posted by: Adine.2184

Adine.2184

Dear Krait i want to make Dinner thank you for coming over . Have some of this special tea i made while start chopping the veggies for the stew .

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Posted by: TriggerSad.2597

TriggerSad.2597

Well, I know the throne room should be completely unprotected, and you can easily get in without any problem. I’m sure Queen Jenna would gladly welcome you!

IGN: Despada
Guild: I Can Outtweet A Centaur [TWIT]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TriggerSad

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Posted by: Anymras.5729

Anymras.5729

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. This is what is best in life.

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Posted by: Redenaz.8631

Redenaz.8631

Nice guard made appointment to see human queen “when dolyaks fly.”

When is dolyak flying time? Does krait need to buy sundial?


Human stew taste strange. Crumbly, lots of fruit, not enough fish.

Krait ate it all for good manners. Krait is trying to act civilized and hardly broke any silverware at all!


To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. This is what is best in life.

Krait have tried all of these things, yet still empty and sad inside. What else is best in life?

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~The Storyteller – Elementalist – Jade Quarry~

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Posted by: ShiningSquirrel.3751

ShiningSquirrel.3751

In the Salma district, there are small ones unguarded.
They are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.

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Posted by: Kiayin.3427

Kiayin.3427

Nice guard made appointment to see human queen “when dolyaks fly.”

When is dolyak flying time? Does krait need to buy sundial?


Human stew taste strange. Crumbly, lots of fruit, not enough fish.

Krait ate it all for good manners. Krait is trying to act civilized and hardly broke any silverware at all!


To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. This is what is best in life.

Krait have tried all of these things, yet still empty and sad inside. What else is best in life?

Adventure! I heard the sewers under Divinity’s Reach are a quite adventurous place. Who knows, you might be able to find the meaning of life there!

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Posted by: Zacchary.6183

Zacchary.6183

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. This is what is best in life.

Actually, tengu Caesar salads are better. Tengu meat is great for grillouts and its so versatile.

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Posted by: An Siorai Tharian.4516

An Siorai Tharian.4516

I hear the Circus is looking for recruits. They have this marvelous thing called a Grizwhirl. You should definitely check it out!

XIII | JAH | FNG | LWA
Ranger 80 | Elementalist 30 | Guardian 29 | Necromancer 21

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Posted by: Sophiera.1209

Sophiera.1209

Yes yes! Check out the Circus!

Just don’t go to Lion’s Arch. It’s chaos there right now.

P.S Don’t limit yourself to human lands. Check out the other races too!

Chocolates are my favourite, and the humans make some good ones. (Though I argue Sylvari 70% chocolate bar is the best) I hope you’re not allergic to it, because that would be sad

Oh oh oh oh try out some Smoked Salmon! Awesome stuff! And Clam chowder! Those should fit more to your tastes

(edited by Sophiera.1209)

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Posted by: Draco.2806

Draco.2806

I had a krait over for dinner once.

He brought over a whole village of slaves. It was awkward.

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Posted by: Pariah.8506

Pariah.8506

You guys are so funny I almost laughed.

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Posted by: TriggerSad.2597

TriggerSad.2597

Have you taken a look at the Queen’s Arena? I’s currently closed at this time, but the area around the arena is still open to tourists! You might even be able to learn a thing or two about human combat if you ask some of the fighters outside that missed the memo!

IGN: Despada
Guild: I Can Outtweet A Centaur [TWIT]
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Posted by: Paulytnz.7619

Paulytnz.7619

Well we have a nice aquarium that we can throw you in, oops I mean show you.

Since when did this business of being a hero become being a business?

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Posted by: Sirendor.1394

Sirendor.1394

I am krait and want to make friendsss.

I have come to Divinity’ss Reach to make friendss and learn to ssociety. I have learned the human language.

What sshould I ssee? What is bessst in human life?

Pleasse, I need your help!

Dear scaly inhabitant of swamp.
We humans would like to welcome you this very moment, yet sadly we are busy helping a world in danger of the vicious alliance Scarlet created! Come back in approximately 3 days, 2 hours and 20 minutes. I’m sure we won’t be busy then!
Oh wait…

Gandara – Vabbi – Ring of Fire – Fissure of Woe – Vabbi
SPvP as Standalone All is Vain

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Posted by: Redenaz.8631

Redenaz.8631

Actually, tengu Caesar salads are better. Tengu meat is great for grillouts and its so versatile.

What meat do Tengu use? Is delicious? Is expensive?

I had a krait over for dinner once.

He brought over a whole village of slaves. It was awkward.

Sounds very awkward. Krait never have enough dishes for such everyone.

Dear scaly inhabitant of swamp.
We humans would like to welcome you this very moment, yet sadly we are busy helping a world in danger of the vicious alliance Scarlet created! Come back in approximately 3 days, 2 hours and 20 minutes. I’m sure we won’t be busy then!
Oh wait…

Is that when dolkyak flying time is? Krait is enjoying human city!


Found little humans, arena, “balloons,” and circus!

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~The Storyteller – Elementalist – Jade Quarry~

(edited by Redenaz.8631)

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Posted by: Yumiko Ishida.3769

Yumiko Ishida.3769

A Canthan descent Krytan noble mother and her two children, a baby in a carriage and a young lady Guardian see the krait spazzing out from the Floating Grizzwhirls. The mother doesn’t hesitate to try to dispatch him.

“Hikari dear, take your baby brother and go home. I have to deal with this fiend that entered our city.”

Hikari: “But mom! Let me help you deal with the krait.”

Yumiko: “I said, ‘Go home!’ I can’t have your baby brother get hurt.”

Yumiko drawn her daggers and attuned to fire ready to make Krait sushi out of him.

((you should be in Tarnished coast at least your rp/ Official GW2 forum story time would be more welcome.))

Yumiko Emi Ishida 80 Ele, Hikari Kyoko Ishida 80 Guard TC-NA. Active RPer of NA megaserver.

(edited by Yumiko Ishida.3769)

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Posted by: Draco.2806

Draco.2806

These krait stories warm my heart.

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Posted by: TriggerSad.2597

TriggerSad.2597

May I use your warm heart to light the torches I’m going to be selling the townsfolk. I have special going on; if you buy a touch, you can also get a pitchfork at half the cost!

IGN: Despada
Guild: I Can Outtweet A Centaur [TWIT]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TriggerSad

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Posted by: Redenaz.8631

Redenaz.8631

Yumiko drawn her daggers and attuned to fire ready to make Krait sushi out of him.

Aah! Run away!

These krait stories warm my heart.

Krait still believe there are nice people in Divinity’s Reach.

May I use your warm heart to light the torches I’m going to be selling the townsfolk. I have special going on; if you buy a touch, you can also get a pitchfork at half the cost!

Krait would like to buy a torch. Krait cold at night!

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~The Storyteller – Elementalist – Jade Quarry~

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Posted by: pessimist.7294

pessimist.7294

Well I guess a Krait is not so dangerous like a beautiful mermaid. What can i say, welcome to Divinitys Reach. Enjoy the atmosphere and the xenophobic townsfolk. Unfortunaly public decapitations has been abolished since about 50 years, so if you want blood and gore I suggest you the Black Citadel. Also make sure to plan your escape route early. People here really get upset over the smallest things (yesterday they chased a charr trough the whole city just because he had to sneeze, the folks thought he tried to deploy a biological weapon).
By the way you really look ill, may i suggest you to go to the hospital?

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Posted by: Redenaz.8631

Redenaz.8631

Krait visited hospital and found human soldier in armor in bed. Krait tried to help human priestess remove armor so soldier could sleep better.

Krait was asked to leave.

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~The Storyteller – Elementalist – Jade Quarry~

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Posted by: Sirendor.1394

Sirendor.1394

Krait visited hospital and found human soldier in armor in bed. Krait tried to help human priestess remove armor so soldier could sleep better.

Krait was asked to leave.

After leaving the hospital with beautiful priestess was sent to investigate why a Krait is in Divinity’s reach, to Kessex hills. Logan thought I was the man for the job – I will confide, I am secretly his right hand – yet he looked at me askance after I babbled about Krait. I think he may be a bit mad.

In Kessex Hills has seen many Krait, bit dizzy still from that nasty sapper’s bomb.
Asked them if they knew a krait with green and yellow scales. They might have misunderstood it for saying their scales were ugly. Krait attacked me. A woman with a pink staff has saved me, throwing a purple orb at the krait while they were overwhelming me. Suddenly they turned into moas. Beautiful moas. I did get a gash from one of krait. Was sent to hospital again. Hopes nice krait visits again.

Gandara – Vabbi – Ring of Fire – Fissure of Woe – Vabbi
SPvP as Standalone All is Vain

(edited by Sirendor.1394)

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Posted by: Samuli.7852

Samuli.7852

I supported Ms. Bubbles, so I guess I need to give you a chance as well. However, due to the Toxic circumstances, I can’t fully trust you before you’ve proven that your intentions are good. Perhaps you could help some villagers in Queensdale?

I will be returning to DR soon, so make sure you’re not doing anything bad when I get there. Know that I will do anything for my city if something or someone threatens it.

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Posted by: Arikyali.5804

Arikyali.5804

….So word on the street is there’s a krait in Divinity’s Reach.

Time for Bounty Hunter Anakysha to strike…..

I am like a shadow…
I am the night…
I leap across the rooftops, ready to strike.

…as long as I don’t miss the roof. It happens sometimes. Some of those tiles have no traction. It’s like the residents don’t want thieves skulking around on their roof. What gives?

Anyway..

Heeere kraity kraity kraity~ Heeeere kraityyy~ Anakysha has some smoked herring for youuuu~

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(edited by Arikyali.5804)

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Posted by: Redenaz.8631

Redenaz.8631

Hopes nice krait visits again.

Feel better, soldier human!

Heeere kraity kraity kraity~ Heeeere kraityyy~ Anakysha has some smoked herring for youuuu~

Krait would love herring, but is out of the city at the moment…

Perhaps you could help some villagers in Queensdale?

That is an excellent idea! Krait has gone to spread trustworthiness in Queensdale!

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~The Storyteller – Elementalist – Jade Quarry~

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Posted by: Natsu Dragneel.1625

Natsu Dragneel.1625

This thread made my day, Cheers for Krait!

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Posted by: Hamfast.8719

Hamfast.8719

ooooOOOOOOooooo! City is full of CRATES! Quaggan is uncomfortable!

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Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm all day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm the rest of his life.
– Unknown Fire Elementalist

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Posted by: Hamfast.8719

Hamfast.8719

Beetletun is full of crates tooooOOOOOoooo! When they hatch, we’ll be overrun by baby Kraits!

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Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm all day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm the rest of his life.
– Unknown Fire Elementalist

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Posted by: Ashabhi.1365

Ashabhi.1365

I was happily retired and living with my husband in Lornars when I got a message from Berta, my cousin.

She said I needed to go to LA, of all places. I hate LA. It’s a city. Too many buildings and sewers and people… all the people… just ew…

Anyway, when I got there and found her, she said something about the krait needing directions and trying to see the circus in DR blah blah blah, but her stupid beetle pet whatever kept getting in the way. I have no patience any more. Whet the heck am I doing here?

Anyway, I finally made a decision. I became what I used to be and now I am hanging out in the back alleys and waterways of LA to see if I can find this krait before someone makes sashimi out of it.

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Level 80 Elementalist

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Posted by: TriggerSad.2597

TriggerSad.2597

Divinity’s Reach, not Lion’s Arch.

Anyway, this thread had made me wish ANet would let a few krait defect from their racial norms and try to make peace with the rest of the races. They’re a cool race, and it would be even cooler to have one as a friend!!

IGN: Despada
Guild: I Can Outtweet A Centaur [TWIT]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TriggerSad

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Posted by: Ashabhi.1365

Ashabhi.1365

Divinity’s Reach, not Lion’s Arch.

Anyway, this thread had made me wish ANet would let a few krait defect from their racial norms and try to make peace with the rest of the races. They’re a cool race, and it would be even cooler to have one as a friend!!

((I realize that he’s in DR. I even mentioned it…but you never know…he may come back because krait are water creatures and there’s just not a lot of water in DR.))

Level 80 Elementalist

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Posted by: pessimist.7294

pessimist.7294

Beetletun is full of crates tooooOOOOOoooo! When they hatch, we’ll be overrun by baby Kraits!

Oh look a little Quaggan. Better dont go near to any restaurants or bars, recently there are a lot of Quaggans disappearing near the backdoors of kitchens. Also some strange meat is served to the guests.

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Posted by: TriggerSad.2597

TriggerSad.2597

Quaggan-kabobs are the best thing you’ll ever eat this side of the Shiverpeakes!!

IGN: Despada
Guild: I Can Outtweet A Centaur [TWIT]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TriggerSad

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Posted by: Ashabhi.1365

Ashabhi.1365

Well, after waiting around all night, I decided to take it upon myself to ask around and see if anyone had heard any more news about the “friendly krait” in DR. Well into my search, I found a Charr who was headed back to the Black Citadel with supplies. He said that there was a big commotion in DR about it and that I really should make the trip over.

It seems that try as I might, I can’t seem to stay out of the human city. I hope I don’t step on one… They kind of squish..like grape ((apologies to Mr. Miyagi))

Eventually, after being extremely careful for what seems like hours, I finally came across a couple of children at the circus who knew a bit more than hearsay. They sent me to the Ringmaster’s wife at the Big Tent because she supposedly saw it all.

Sure enough, she said that she had seen a couple of kids and an extremely agitated woman with a set of beautiful carving knives chase the krait out into the Queensdale countryside.

Good gravy…Not only do I have to traipse around the human city, now I have to go camping in their farmland. Could this day get any worse?

Well, as I found out, yes, it could. Turns out this krait is also a thief. I paid off the breadmaker (no, I don’t know why) and then paid her a bit more to gain something more useful. She said she heard that there was a krait sighted in Beetletun a short time ago.

At least Beetletun isn’t as loud and obnoxious as the human city and LA. Besides. I have an old friend there.

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Level 80 Elementalist

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Posted by: Ashabhi.1365

Ashabhi.1365

((Anet’s forums seem to be eating posts again…))

Level 80 Elementalist

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Posted by: Arikyali.5804

Arikyali.5804

So….I walked around the back allies with a smoked herring on the end of my sword, poking the odd sewer grate and seeing if anything would bite. Got some strange looks from people. A Seraph asked what I was doing, and I told her I was hunting Krait. She gave me a weird look and told me to put my weapon away before she arrested me.

….My idea makes sense if you don’t think about it too much.

I gave up my krait bait after awhile – I had to, the herring slipped off my sword. Some hungry beggar was hiding in the sewers and took it. That little thief.

I decided to look for the krait, and take the scenic route – over the roofs. So I leaped from one roof and…Honestly, what is it with the city not liking thieves traversing via rooftops? That ledge wasn’t booby-trapped before.

Fortunately, my shadow art skill saved me. It’s quite useful, saving you from getting hurt too much from falling, and releases blinding powder upon my decent. – a plus since it also saves you from the embarrassment of falling flat on your face.

Unfortunately, some of the smoke powder got into a passerby’s eyes. She wasn’t happy. I said I was sorry. She still called the Seraph on me.

Maybe she wouldn’t have been so angry if I didn’t throw more powder in her eyes and ran off with her necklace. Either way, I’m here again in jail. Again. “Infringing on public safety” they say. At least I still have the necklace.

You just can’t be left alone to make a decent living these days.

edit: the woman in the background of my 3rd picture…she’s headless! o.o

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Posted by: GameVeight.2745

GameVeight.2745

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. This is what is best in life.

Krait have tried all of these things, yet still empty and sad inside. What else is best in life?

Hot water, good dentistry and soft lavatory paper.

Ye’ll tak’ the high road an’ I’ll tak’ yer wallet!
You’re so vain, You probably think this post is about you.

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Posted by: Redenaz.8631

Redenaz.8631

This thread made my day, Cheers for Krait!

Cheers for Natsu! Cheers for everyone! \o/

Beetletun is full of crates tooooOOOOOoooo! When they hatch, we’ll be overrun by baby Kraits!

That is probably not where baby krait come from, small quaggan. But krait will say no more.

They’re a cool race, and it would be even cooler to have one as a friend!!

Krait thinks other races cool, and wants to make many friends! Made a new, dear friend today, in fact.

Quaggan-kabobs are the best thing you’ll ever eat this side of the Shiverpeakes!!

What is better on other side of the Shiverpeaks?

Hot water, good dentistry and soft lavatory paper.

“Lavatory” is…volcano?


Had many more adventures in Queensdale!

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~The Storyteller – Elementalist – Jade Quarry~

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Posted by: Avelos.6798

Avelos.6798

this is probably my favorite forum post now

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Posted by: Samuli.7852

Samuli.7852

I’m back home! Finally!
My feet are tired after walking all the way from LA to DR and my cheeks are sore after smiling all the way from LA to DR…

I am glad to see you took my advice and helped the citizens of Queensdale, umm… I just realized I don’t know what to call you. Do you have a name, krait?

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Posted by: Sophiera.1209

Sophiera.1209

Mister Krait, do you have parents? We Salads are always curious about the concept of ‘parents’ because we only have one mother

By the way, your adventures are warming up my heart Mister Krait! That shows there are good Kraits out there

Oh the big spinny thing in the sky are called “Windmills”, they harness the power of the wind to move things. Usually they’re used to grind wheat into flour.

(edited by Sophiera.1209)

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Posted by: Ashabhi.1365

Ashabhi.1365

I had the most wonderful visit with my dear friend Kosmo in Beetletun. We hit the pub and shared war stories and complained about aches and pains one gets when they’re over…that age…

Alas, it was not to last long. I had to find this krait, and he had a wife and kids to get back to.

Kosmo did say that the krait had been in town and got into some sort of altercation about the graffiti that seems to be all over the place in town. He reassured me that the krait didn’t do any of it, though, so I guess that’s a good thing. He also told me to head to the Monastery and talk to Sister Liz. She might know something.


So, I made the trip and found Sister Liz in the tap room. (hic) and see shed…I mean she said that see hadn’t (hic) seen him, but I might try, you know, the swamp, cuz wit him bein’ a kr… a krait (hic) and all, he might like water… I like beer better…and Lister Sidge…I mean Sister Liz (hic) makes some ghood stuffus… I think I’ll call forth a few minimums… er… miniliems…(sigh) minions (giggle) and relax here a bit while they wooks for it…(hic) Say herro to mah widdle friendssss…Ooh. I sounded likes a Krait…trails off laughing

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Posted by: Hamfast.8719

Hamfast.8719

Investigator BooOOooblz: Krait is exploring Human lands. Quaggan has seen many crates waiting to hatch.

Chief Investigator: Krait is looking for hole in ground. Baby crates born in craters. Has Quaggan seen sign of holes?

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Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm all day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm the rest of his life.
– Unknown Fire Elementalist

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Posted by: Lafiel.9372

Lafiel.9372

BURNN THE KRAIITTTT

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Posted by: Sirendor.1394

Sirendor.1394

BURNN THE KRAIITTTT

But he actually visited me… twice. He even tried undoing my armor. I don’t get why the priestess sent him away. He’s my friend. Forever.

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Posted by: pessimist.7294

pessimist.7294

BURNN THE KRAIITTTT

Easy guys, put your forks and torches away (unless you need them for work). There is no need to worry. Unless he starts to kill and enslave people.
For now he seems like a normal tourist with a curious behaviour. Of course we will watch him just for the case.

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Posted by: Redenaz.8631

Redenaz.8631

I am glad to see you took my advice and helped the citizens of Queensdale, umm… I just realized I don’t know what to call you. Do you have a name, krait?

Krait only tell names to family, closest friends, and priests. To other krait, krait go by caste name, and to non-krait, Krait is simply “Krait.” (“krait” for species and “Krait” for Krait!)

Krait hopes that helps?

Mister Krait, do you have parents? We Salads are always curious about the concept of ‘parents’ because we only have one mother

Krait has biological parents, but all krait raised in hatcheries by broodmothers instead of egg-layers.

By the way, your adventures are warming up my heart Mister Krait! That shows there are good Kraits out there

Oh the big spinny thing in the sky are called “Windmills”, they harness the power of the wind to move things. Usually they’re used to grind wheat into flour.

Ah-hah! Then Krait has nothing to fear!


Hamfast / Quaggans
Be careful, quaggans! Arena is loooOOOOoong way to fall dooooowwwn!

Arena is very dangerous for falling into. Arena could use a net. Arena net would be very important in the world!
——-

BURNN THE KRAIITTTT

No! Do not burn Krait!

He’s my friend. Forever.

K-Krait so happy to hear it! Krait could cry

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~The Storyteller – Elementalist – Jade Quarry~

(edited by Redenaz.8631)

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Posted by: Yumiko Ishida.3769

Yumiko Ishida.3769

Yumiko “Emi” Ishida: Now that my child is safe at home with my daughter, (so cute how she plays with her baby brother.) I Warmaster and Lady Yumiko Ishida I can go find the Krait and capture him dead or alive and gain more prestige among my fellow nobility. The hunt is on my doggies! (rich girl laugh)

I started by asking locals and the like around the Traders Forum in Lion’s Arch.

This guy would rather stand in the sun all day and try to look good rather than answer my questions… or maybe my doggies are rather imposing?

I then found a rather large sockeye salmon on the docks nearby… maybe I can use this as bait to catch a Krait? Tee hee! I’m so good at rhymes!

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Yumiko Emi Ishida 80 Ele, Hikari Kyoko Ishida 80 Guard TC-NA. Active RPer of NA megaserver.

(edited by Yumiko Ishida.3769)

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Posted by: Sophiera.1209

Sophiera.1209

“Krait has biological parents, but all krait raised in hatcheries by broodmothers instead of egg-layers.”

Ooooooooh your social structure is similar to the Charr then. The big talking furry cat-like ones. Someone else raises them in groups too.