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Posted by: Aleglast.6027

Aleglast.6027

A middle aged sylvari discovers a very young sylvari on the side of the path shivering uncontrollably and she exclaims “oh my word! are you alright!?” with bloodshot eyes the young sylvari looks up and says “I feel awful! i only just got out of the pot”

GUARDIANS OF THE LIGHT We are DragonBrand
Join us and RISE to the challenge!

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Posted by: Lishtenbird.2814

Lishtenbird.2814

How do you call a game which likes to kill its characters and is obsessed with deadly vines?

Game of Thorns.

20 level 80s and counting.

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Posted by: Lishtenbird.2814

Lishtenbird.2814

What’s a difference between a real fossilized insect expert and an asuran fossilized insect expert?

Only an asuran one can identify any insect you need in a single unidentified fossilized insect you bring him.

20 level 80s and counting.

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Posted by: Svetli.4276

Svetli.4276

so 5 rangers enter a dungeon suddenly the party leader say “i don’t play with rangers” so they kick the reneger and get guardian : )

“What you wish for may not be what she wishes for.” – Skull Knight

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Posted by: Serinetempest.9027

Serinetempest.9027

A warrior is walking past Eldvin Monastery and sees a bandit running away with a cask of wine. With mighty prowess, the warrior slays the man and returns the cask to a monk in the monastery.

The monk is grateful, but confused. “We are total strangers to you. Why would you go through so much effort just to help our humble vineyard?”

The warrior replies, “For grape justice.”

OMG Im still dying laughing on that For Grape Justice lol

MGW Guild

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Posted by: Lishtenbird.2814

Lishtenbird.2814

What’s Trahearne’s favourite video game?

“Plants vs. Zombies”.

20 level 80s and counting.

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Posted by: Yoroiookami.3485

Yoroiookami.3485

I have a really bad one, forgive me…

How do you call a handsome and funny charr?
“Charrming”

I can hear the crickets in the background…

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Posted by: nyctalopia.4735

nyctalopia.4735

A sylvari on his way to Rata Sum reaches a gate checkpoint where all visitors require paperwork to be accounted for , upon entering the city.
An elderly asura walks up to the him and starts taking some notes .Then with a dull tone asks him :
-Name?
-Farwin Leafmesh , the sylvari answers.
-Age?
-21

A sylvari on his way to Rata Sum reaches a gate checkpoint where all visitors require paperwork to be accounted for , upon entering the city.
An elderly asura walks up to the him and starts taking some notes .Then with a dull tone asks him :
-Name?
-Farwin Leafmesh , the sylvari answers.
-Age?
-21

I dont get it.

The comment was moderated and the punchline cut out. The asura asked what the sylvari’s gender was (using different wording) and the sylvari misinterpreted what the asura meant. The sylvari ended up divulging a bit more information about his/her personal life than the asura likely wanted to hear.

I think there were one or two other jokes that were also moderated

Now that this thread has been necro’d I just want to get this off my chest: the new punchline is funnier, and if you didn’t get it you need to read more about the Sylvari.

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Posted by: MasterAbaddon.7839

MasterAbaddon.7839

A Stupid kitten kid played a Charr Guardian named Smoophy.

Turns out Stupid kittened People only deserve to play Eternal Battlegrounds

Hah.
Juk.

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Posted by: Tuomir.1830

Tuomir.1830

Why did Orr sink?

Vizier Khilbron put his trust in Abaddonware.

Only fools and heroes charge in without a plan.

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Posted by: TheBlackLeech.9360

TheBlackLeech.9360

………..Zhaitan, lol

Attachments:

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Posted by: Labjax.2465

Labjax.2465

Three skritt walk into a museum. The curator stops them at the door and says, “Your kind is not allowed in here.” So the skritt chatter amongst themselves and then they leave. Next day, six skritt walk into the same museum. The curator stops them at the door, “Your kind is still now allowed in here. Leave.” Third day, an asura walks in. He’s dressed all grand and pompous-looking. The curator says, “Welcome, sir. How may I help you?” Then he sees no less than nine skritt marching in behind the asura and asks him, “Sir, do you realize you have at least nine skritt coming in behind you?”

The asura clears his throat and replies, “I’m doing an experiment. I want to see how many of them are needed before they realize this isn’t a museum.”

The curator looks confused and leans in to whisper so that the skritt won’t hear him, “But sir, we have plenty of old valuables in here.”

“Note to self,” says the asura, “Ten is insufficient. Especially if one of them thinks he’s a museum curator.”

Or words to that effect.

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Posted by: jweez.7214

jweez.7214

How many members of Destiny’s Edge does it take to rob a bank?
Zero, they’re all too busy stealing your spotlight.

What did Trahearne say after being pushed into a bottomless well?
“This well won’t end.”

The second one is grand.

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Posted by: Lishtenbird.2814

Lishtenbird.2814

Holmes and Watson are strolling through Orr. Watson notices a strange blobby creature made of tar and asks:
- What’s that creature, Holmes?
- Elemental, Watson!

20 level 80s and counting.

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Posted by: JCROY.5730

JCROY.5730

What was Dhuum’s, Abbadon’s and Menzies’ secret alliance secretly called?
The triforce

Link called..he wants his triforce back… XD

“see cow, grab bundle, feed cow?”

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Posted by: JCROY.5730

JCROY.5730

Why do Guardians never participate in Movember? (The month you let a moustache grow for supporting men’s health)

“Shave yourselves!!” XD

“see cow, grab bundle, feed cow?”

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Posted by: JCROY.5730

JCROY.5730

What race doesnt give a kitten and always has the munchies?

A Weed-Sylvari

“see cow, grab bundle, feed cow?”

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Posted by: JCROY.5730

JCROY.5730

What do you call a Norn with Nomads gear and Cleric’s trinkets?

" A Beer-tank"

“see cow, grab bundle, feed cow?”

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Posted by: Erukk.1408

Erukk.1408

I will always have a soft spot for the Asuran kids telling the “Your Mama…” jokes.

“Your mama’s IQ is so low, she thinks “Elemental” is four letter in the middle of the alphabet."

“Your mama’s IQ is so low, she thinks a “golemancer” is what you get when you ask a golemquestion."

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Posted by: JCROY.5730

JCROY.5730

Have you ever heard about that Norn thief?

Wait… someone is stealing Norn?

This comment made me laugh way more than it should have.

I got this great picture of a bunch of skritt smuggling Norn away in big sacks.

WHAAHAHAHAHA same here XD XD

“see cow, grab bundle, feed cow?”

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Posted by: Mad Queen Malafide.7512

Mad Queen Malafide.7512

Three skritt walk into a museum. The curator stops them at the door and says, “Your kind is not allowed in here.” So the skritt chatter amongst themselves and then they leave. Next day, six skritt walk into the same museum. The curator stops them at the door, “Your kind is still now allowed in here. Leave.” Third day, an asura walks in. He’s dressed all grand and pompous-looking. The curator says, “Welcome, sir. How may I help you?” Then he sees no less than nine skritt marching in behind the asura and asks him, “Sir, do you realize you have at least nine skritt coming in behind you?”

The asura clears his throat and replies, “I’m doing an experiment. I want to see how many of them are needed before they realize this isn’t a museum.”

The curator looks confused and leans in to whisper so that the skritt won’t hear him, “But sir, we have plenty of old valuables in here.”

“Note to self,” says the asura, “Ten is insufficient. Especially if one of them thinks he’s a museum curator.”

That one is great!

“Madness is just another way to view reality”
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-On3Ya0_4Y)

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Posted by: penelopehannibal.8947

penelopehannibal.8947

Which creatures in The Shiverpeaks are able to write each other letters?

Penipals…

(Edited to include an apology)

Blood & Merlot [Wine]

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Posted by: TheBlackLeech.9360

TheBlackLeech.9360

What did the Kodan say to the other Kodan?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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Posted by: Lishtenbird.2814

Lishtenbird.2814

following the hashtagged Rytlock-in-the-mists twitter image

- How do you call a new heavy class?
- Medium.

20 level 80s and counting.

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Posted by: Zok.4956

Zok.4956

How do you call a game which likes to kill its characters and is obsessed with deadly vines?

Game of Thorns.

Your post is six month old and I think “Heart of Thorns” was inspired by your post. :-)

Greetings.

P.S. In my head I always read “Heart of Thrones” and not “Heart of Thorns” when I see “HoT”

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Posted by: Rauderi.8706

Rauderi.8706

Why did the Kodan go to Riot Game(s)?

To teach them about Balance!

(Games? Plural? They have, like, one game…)

Many alts; handle it!
“I’m finding companies should sell access to forums,
it seems many like them better than the games they comment on.” -Horrorscope.7632

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Posted by: penelopehannibal.8947

penelopehannibal.8947

What’s the most important part of a Kodan’s bank account?

His balance.

Blood & Merlot [Wine]

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Posted by: Allelya.6830

Allelya.6830

My fiance plays mostly Charr and he’s always looking for new gear sets to transmute to, dye and so on.

Every time I see him changing his gear look I say, “Playing Dress Me Up Charrbie again?”

Delvien – d/d Elementalist – Gates of Madness

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Posted by: penelopehannibal.8947

penelopehannibal.8947

How does a Norn turn down the volume on the TV set?

He presses the ‘moot’ button.

Blood & Merlot [Wine]

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Posted by: naiasonod.9265

naiasonod.9265

One is only the smartest person in the room if they are alone.

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Posted by: Neural.1824

Neural.1824

What number does Logan dial to call up the queen?

867-5309

Where are my gem sales? I want gem sales! Nerf EVERYTHING!

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Posted by: Naus the Gobbo.5172

Naus the Gobbo.5172

Getting tired of hate posts.

Attachments:

What we do in life echoes in eternity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6zkT2uZAGA – GW2 – A world of wonder

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Posted by: Zera Allimatti.2541

Zera Allimatti.2541

The one I offer is more for the GW1 veterans, and it’s more of a pickup line.

“Are you suffering from Exhaustion? Because you’ve been Zojun’s Hasting through my Fevered Dreams all night.”

Give us more GW 1 weapon and armor skins, please. COPY/PASTE ALREADY!!!!

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Posted by: Lishtenbird.2814

Lishtenbird.2814

What did a party of 5 zerkers say to Legendary Imbued Shaman?

“Sorry to burst your bubble…”


What’s the difference between an assassin and a thief?

One gets paid, and the other gets two blues and a green.

20 level 80s and counting.

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Posted by: Krustydog.3072

Krustydog.3072

How many servers does it take to change a light bulb? 3, 1 to change it and 2 to say “if it wasn’t night we could do that way better than you.”

SoR FTW

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Posted by: sorudo.9054

sorudo.9054

what is a flashy risen called?……
Michael!!!

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Posted by: penelopehannibal.8947

penelopehannibal.8947

Why was Caithe’s ex-girlfriend banned from playing soccer?

Because she was Faolynn.

Blood & Merlot [Wine]

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Posted by: Paulytnz.7619

Paulytnz.7619

Okay so the other day I was playing when I was super tired and for some reason this came to my head. Disclaimer, it is VERY stupid, lame and cheesy so there I said it as even I think it is lol, ps I am no joke maker in general either. With all that said here goes:

So a Norn and an Asura walk into a bar. The Norn says “say hello to my little friend”.

Since when did this business of being a hero become being a business?

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Posted by: Zera Allimatti.2541

Zera Allimatti.2541

I dont jave a joke, but I have a pickup line using the names of some GW skills.

“Are you suffering from exhaustion? Because you have been Zojun’s Hasting through my Fevered Dreams all night long.”

Give us more GW 1 weapon and armor skins, please. COPY/PASTE ALREADY!!!!

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Posted by: AegisRunestone.8672

AegisRunestone.8672

(Taken from an experience with my guild)

Best friends meet—a human and a slyavari—once again.

“Hug me!”

“Cuddle me!”

They start cuddling. An asura walks by and asks, “what are you doing?”

One answers, “we are cuddling.”

The other asks, “would you like to cuddle with us?”

The asura ponders a moment and answers, “sure!”

:P

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Posted by: cagiepoo.8162

cagiepoo.8162

Why did the Skritt fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead

Fortitudinem et honorem

[iQ] Intrinsic Quality

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Posted by: cagiepoo.8162

cagiepoo.8162

Why did the 2nd Skritt fall out of the tree?

He thought it was a game

Fortitudinem et honorem

[iQ] Intrinsic Quality

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Posted by: cagiepoo.8162

cagiepoo.8162

Okay so the other day I was playing when I was super tired and for some reason this came to my head. Disclaimer, it is VERY stupid, lame and cheesy so there I said it as even I think it is lol, ps I am no joke maker in general either. With all that said here goes:

So a Norn and an Asura walk into a bar. The Norn says “say hello to my little friend”.

Be funny as hell if the Norn’s name was Tony Montana lmao

Fortitudinem et honorem

[iQ] Intrinsic Quality

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Posted by: Aeolus.3615

Aeolus.3615

My friends and other people (that played gw1 with me) joke because i still play this game….

Does that count?

1st April joke, when gw2 receives a “balance” update.

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Posted by: Benie.9312

Benie.9312

What did the Greatsword say to the mob?
“CLANG”

Chars on ’Yak’s Bend’;
Beniee – Ranger – Level 80
Deathclaw Ragefist – Necromancer – Level 80

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Posted by: Aeolus.3615

Aeolus.3615

What did the Greatsword say to the mob?
“CLANG”

That is a questionable answer.. does Anet uses it?

1st April joke, when gw2 receives a “balance” update.

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Posted by: Mad Queen Malafide.7512

Mad Queen Malafide.7512

I have plenty more jokes about Asura being short.
But I don’t want to make a hobbit out of it.

“Madness is just another way to view reality”
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-On3Ya0_4Y)

(edited by Mad Queen Malafide.7512)

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Posted by: Benie.9312

Benie.9312

That is a questionable answer.. does Anet uses it?

I don’t get the question. It was just something I thought of with the sound of a Greatsword when one does a killing blow on a mob.

Chars on ’Yak’s Bend’;
Beniee – Ranger – Level 80
Deathclaw Ragefist – Necromancer – Level 80

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Posted by: Iason Evan.3806

Iason Evan.3806

“The story is so much better in this game than in ESO or SW:ToR.”

Leader of The Guernsey Milking Coalition [MiLk] Sanctum of Rall

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Posted by: AegisRunestone.8672

AegisRunestone.8672

What’s Trahearne’s favourite video game?

“Plants vs. Zombies”.

lol. Nice one.