Guild Wars 2

I was gonna spawn some Turrets, before I got nerfed
I was gonna defend a Fort, before I got nerfed
My Turrets get one shotted, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
Get jiggy wit it, skibbidy bee bop diddy do wahhh

-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

ANet’s bad dream…

Mr. Spock: ANet to nerfineering. Negative effect on grenade power reduction. Damage is still increasing.

Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery Scott: Aye, Mr. Spock, and I found out why. The emergency bypass control of the matter/antimatter integrator is fused. It’s completely useless. The engineers are running wild; there’s no way to get at them. We should reach maximum overload in about 15 minutes.

Mr. Spock: I would calculate 14.87 minutes, Mr. Scott.

Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery Scott: Those few seconds will not make any difference, Mr. Spock, because you and I and the rest of the professions will no longer be here to bandy it back and forth. The engineers are going to blow us up, and there’s nothing in the universe can stop them.

Even more proof that Anet doesn’t venture to the engineer side of the forums: This post isn’t locked yet and we aren’t suspended from the forums.

Lord Aargadon.4135:

Even more proof that Anet doesn’t venture to the engineer side of the forums: This post isn’t locked yet and we aren’t suspended from the forums.

“it’s coming. faster! you must drive faster” – jurrasic park.

quark: its good to want things
odo: even things you can’t have?
quark: especially things you can’t have
- star trek deep space 9

" our grenade kit (and elixer gun)is nerfed, Anet developers destroyed it several patches ago, balancing it was… more trouble then it was worth."
-Worf, deep space 9

/Johnny Fox pulls out his flamethrower

“SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!”

click missmissmissmissmissmiss

forehead slap

Nyx Wulf: To the hell fires with Johnny Fox. He’s evil; an engineer who can summon turrets. His turrets’ only purpose is to die in his service. Thousands of them.

Johnny Fox: Devs, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good engineers or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That’s what’s important! Nerfing pleases you, Devs… but grant me one request. Grant me a #1 grenade attack that auto hits! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!

Not quite an engineer quote.

Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
Dev1: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
Mongol General: Wrong! Dev2! What is best in life?
Dev2: To crush your engineers, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their mini pets.
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is the life of engineers.”
- Star Trek TNG (episode: Peak Performance)

Engineer 1: I’ve just been paid a visit by an ArenaNet developer.
Engineer 2: A developer? Any idea what he’s up to?
Engineer 1: He wants to do something nice for us.
Engineer 2: I’ll warn the forums.
- Star Trek TNG (episode: Qpid)

Lord Aargadon.4135:

Even more proof that Anet doesn’t venture to the engineer side of the forums: This post isn’t locked yet and we aren’t suspended from the forums.

They did actually remove one of my posts because I didn’t explain my point of view. It was amusing.

Who lives at the bottom of every tier list?
Engineer NerfPants!
Pillow-fisted in leather, and buggy he is!
Engineer NerfPants!

If crowd control nonsense be something you wish
Engineer NerfPants!
Then roll with him and be gutted like a fish!
Engineer NerfPants!

Engineer NerfPants!
Engineer NerfPants!
Engineer NerfPants!
Engineeeeer… NerfPaaaaaaaants!

“It is the year 2013 of the Twenty-First Century. Four Months have passed since Guild Wars began moving its burgeoning population into Guild Wars 2. A new home for players. Where Characters are created and leveled… and deleted. 3 months ago, the cluster of players lowest in class population called Engineers proclaimed themselves Grenadiers and launched a war of independence against their rival Classes. Initial nerfing lasted over one month and saw Engineers losing half their respective population. Players were horrified by the indescribable atrocities that had been committed in the name of balance. Another week has passed since the nerfing began. They are still underpowered.”
(Title Fades In on a backdrop of a map of Tyria)
“Guild Wars 2: Engineer”
(Title Fades Out)

^Starfox? If so, fantastic job to you and everyone else posting here :D

FiftyTwoBears.5482:

Afroman

“Because I Got Nerfed”

It’s Like, I don’t care about nothin man,
Equip another Kit, Yea (ohh ohh ohh)

La da da da da da La, Da Daaa,
La da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa

I was gonna Nade some Fools, until I got nerfed
I was gonna get up, and stunbreak myself, but then I got bugged
my Kits are still messed up, and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go PvP, before I got nerfed
I coulda gotten fixed and balanced but then I got nerfed
(La da da da da da da da da)
I’m whining about it on the forums, and I know why, (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna use my Flamethrower Kit, but then I got nerfed
I just wanna hit something, but then I got nerfed
Now I’m forced to use Grenade Kit, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna do some fractals, before I got nerfed
I was gonna join a pug, but then I got nerfed
They didn’t let me in, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go TankCat,before I got nerfed
I was gonna get get the gear, but then I got nerfed
I’m thinking about it, but it’s not worth it, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna Static Discharge, before I got nerfed
I was gonna hit my targets, but then I got nerfed
I’m praying to the 6 Gods, but I know I’ll die, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna chug some Elixirs, before I got nerfed
I was hoping for something good, but then I got nerfed
The RNG is screwing me over, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I wasn’t gonna cry about it, before I got nerfed
I was gonna man up, and be versatile, but then I got nerfed
Now I’m on the forums typin, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

I’m gonna stop singing this song, because I’ nerfed
I’m singing this whole thing wrong, because I’m nerfed
and if we don’t get fixed soon, I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
CAUSE ARENANET HATES US
CAUSE ARENANET LOVES WARRIORS
CAUSE WE’RE BROKEN

Get jiggy wit it, skibbidy bee bop diddy do wahhh

- cause I’m nerfed [repeat 3X]

(hey where the versatility at cuz) [clucks]

I’m quite heartbroken nobody noticed this. I spent alot of Elixirs on it

Lord Aargadon.4135:

^Starfox? If so, fantastic job to you and everyone else posting here

Its actually the intro to a show called Mobile Suit Gundam :/, the intro seemed to fit xD

Lord Aargadon.4135:

^Starfox? If so, fantastic job to you and everyone else posting here

Ah, that reminds me…

“Never give up, fox. Trust your slick shoes.”

And now to quote the Engineer’s greatest hero: M. Bison!

“For you, the day I shot you off that jumping puzzle was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.”

“The temple above us was the wonder of the ancient Kryta. Engieopolis shall be the wonder of my world. But I think the turret field should be larger. All the other professions will want in.”

“Your masters at the A.N. call me a heartless robot. So be it! You do not deserve the martial dignity of a firing squad! No! You shall be killed BY a turret, a machine BORN of my own genius! Raise the rocket turrets!”

“Then defeat is a possibility. Very well. We shall face it together, Thief, with the stoicism of the true warrior. "
[Thief stealths and GTFOs as Engie continues to face opponents in sPvP]

“This is merely superexplosive emergency propulsion. Surely you’ve heard of it. It excavates rocky cliffs to make way for dams. It powers my bombs, where I knock others off the face of the world. And it topples… me!”

“Something wrong, Warrior? You come here prepared to fight a God, and instead you found a madman?”

“I hoped to meet a Guardian face-to-face on the battlefield, where we could engage each other in combat. Then I would snap his spine. But why? Why do they still call me a fool? And nerfed? All I want to do is to create the perfect kit combination. Not for power, not for evil, but for good. TANKCAT shall be the first of many who shall march out of my laboratory and crush every adversary, every creed, every nation! Until the world is in the loving grip of the Pax Engineerica. And peace will reign and all Tyria shall bow to me in humble gratitude.”

Mesmer: “Is this a joke? These turrets aren’t even worth the casting time!”
Engineer Bison: “On the contrary. Every Engie turret will be worth five Mesmer phantasms. That is the exchange rate that the developers of Arena Net will implement after I kidnap their queen.”

“All your nerfs are belong to us.”

“One nerf is a tragedy; one million is a statistic.”

“It is enough that the engineers know there was an election. The engineers who cast the votes decide nothing. The developers who count the votes decide everything. "

“Nerfs solve all problems – no class, no problem. "

—Joseph Stalin

Anymras.5729:

Lord Aargadon.4135:

Even more proof that Anet doesn’t venture to the engineer side of the forums: This post isn’t locked yet and we aren’t suspended from the forums.

They did actually remove one of my posts because I didn’t explain my point of view. It was amusing.

You too?

“Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell ArenaNet that they may take away our Grenade Kit, but they’ll never take… OUR VERSATILITY!”

-Braveheart

I wonder what quotes you guys put up…they must have been really truthful for them to take it down.

SPREAD THE WORD! THE TRUTH SHALL BE TOLD!

Whatya gonna do? Nice Rifle Engineer, eh? Don’t wanna get mixed up in melee business? Now you wanna gun down a Guardian because he bashed you in the face a little bit, huh? Whataya think this class is, the Warrior, where you shoot ’em a mile away? You gotta get up close like this… badaBING! you blow their brains all over your nice Priory suit.

(The Godfather)

-Travail.

“Lady, I never walk into a place I don’t know how to slick shoes out of.”

—Ronin (1998)

Slick Shoes in action.

Not a quote, really… but here’s one for ya:

—
Engi are you ok?
So, Engi are you ok?
Are you ok, Engi?
You’ve Been Hit By-
You’ve Been Struck By-
Extreme Versatility.
—

-Travail.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y

The video speaks for itself.

-Travail.

Engineer- “ArenaNet?”
ArenaNet- “What?”
Engineer- “Where’s my Versatility?”
ArenaNet- “What?”
Engineer – “Where – is – my – Versatility?”
ArenaNet – “I, uh, might have nerfed you.”
(Elementalist swaps Elements next to them)
Engineer- “Where?”
ArenaNet- “Why do you need to know?”
Engineer- " I need Versatility!"
ArenaNet- “Uh-uh! Don’t you think about using Grenade Kits. I’ve been thinking about nerfing that for two months!”
Engineer- “My DPS is in danger!”
ArenaNet- “Sigils will be the danger!”
Engineer- “You tell me where my DPS is, woman! We are talking about the only kit that is good!”
ArenaNet- “Good? I am ArenaNet! I’m going to nerf you till you can’t walk!”

The Incredibles (2004)

ArenaNet- “Now it’s perfectly balanced…”
Engineer – “Balanced?! What do you KNOW about balanced?! What does ANY profession in this game know about balanced?!”
ArenaNet- “Now Wait a minute young Engy…”
Engineer- “WE act balanced ArenaNet!” We WANT to be Balanced! The only balanced one is the Assassin! And he’s not even toilet trained!
(Assassin spams HeartSeeker)

The Incredibles (2004)

ArenaNet- Your profession was designed to withstand enormous skill without ever being fixed or versatile, a useless feature. Your kit’s were tricky, but I finally created enough useless buggy abilities and traits that can be as useless as your entire class. Your Turrets can die as fast as you can, and still retain it’s uselessness. Your class is virtually impossible, yet it plays the most fun.

The Incredibles (2004)

“Oh, I’m versatile. Versatile enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious kits, your oh-so-special toolbelts. I’ll give them viability! I’ll give all the professions the most amazing abilities Kryta has ever seen! And when I’m old and I’ve had my fun, I’ll sell my designs so that EVERYONE can have kits. EVERYONE can be versatile! And when everyone’s versatile…..

No one will be…."

The Incredibles (2004)

FiftyTwoBears.5482:

ArenaNet- Your profession was designed to withstand enormous skill without ever being fixed or versatile… (2004)

Great line! That one brought a tear to my eye.

HAHAHAHAH!

I’m dying from laughter over here!

FiftyTwoBears.5482:

Engineer- “ArenaNet?”
ArenaNet- “What?”
Engineer- “Where’s my Versatility?”
ArenaNet- “What?”
Engineer – “Where – is – my – Versatility?”
ArenaNet – “I, uh, might have nerfed you.”
(Elementalist swaps Elements next to them)
Engineer- “Where?”
ArenaNet- “Why do you need to know?”
Engineer- " I need Versatility!"
ArenaNet- “Uh-uh! Don’t you think about using Grenade Kits. I’ve been thinking about nerfing that for two months!”
Engineer- “My DPS is in danger!”
ArenaNet- “Sigils will be the danger!”
Engineer- “You tell me where my DPS is, woman! We are talking about the only kit that is good!”
ArenaNet- “Good? I am ArenaNet! I’m going to nerf you till you can’t walk!”

The Incredibles (2004)

ArenaNet- “Now it’s perfectly balanced…”
Engineer – “Balanced?! What do you KNOW about balanced?! What does ANY profession in this game know about balanced?!”
ArenaNet- “Now Wait a minute young Engy…”
Engineer- “WE act balanced ArenaNet!” We WANT to be Balanced! The only balanced one is the Assassin! And he’s not even toilet trained!
(Assassin spams HeartSeeker)

The Incredibles (2004)

ArenaNet- Your profession was designed to withstand enormous skill without ever being fixed or versatile, a useless feature. Your kit’s were tricky, but I finally created enough useless buggy abilities and traits that can be as useless as your entire class. Your Turrets can die as fast as you can, and still retain it’s uselessness. Your class is virtually impossible, yet it plays the most fun.

The Incredibles (2004)

“Oh, I’m versatile. Versatile enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious kits, your oh-so-special toolbelts. I’ll give them viability! I’ll give all the professions the most amazing abilities Kryta has ever seen! And when I’m old and I’ve had my fun, I’ll sell my designs so that EVERYONE can have kits. EVERYONE can be versatile! And when everyone’s versatile…..

No one will be…."

The Incredibles (2004)

Such a great movie…I was trying to think of more quotes about engineers from it, but couldn’t come up with much. Very nice.

“I say we just take off… and nuke the profession from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” -Ripley, Aliens

“As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL engineer!” – Emperor Palpatine, Star Wars Episode 6: Return of the Jedi

“The odds of successfully navigating a grenade field are approximately 3720 to 1!” – C3P0, The best Star Wars movie yet

“…and if Anet does not love you, how could you have done the things you have done?” – Nasir, Kingdom of Heaven

Maybe I see something different in the class than others because I just play it instead of trying to theorycraft myopic builds that are overshadowed by equally myopic builds of other professions.

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3sinvq/

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3siny7/

A customer enters a game store.
Customer: ’Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

C: ‘Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean “miss”?
C: I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We’re closin’ for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this engineer what I rolled not half an hour ago from this very company.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Asuran Engineer…What’s,uh…What’s wrong with it?
C: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ’E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
O: No, no, ’e’s uh,…he’s resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead profession when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
O: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable profession, the Asuran Engineer, isn’it, ay? Beautiful kits!
C: The kits don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! ’E’s resting!
C: All right then, if he’s restin’, I’ll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
‘Ello, Mister Engineer! I’ve got a lovely fresh grenade for you if you show…(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn’t, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything…
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) ‘ELLO ENGINEER!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock alarm call!
(Takes asura out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that’s what I call a dead profession.
O: No, no…..No, ’e’s stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin’ up! Asuran Engineers stun easily, major.
C: Um…now look…now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That profession is definitely deceased, and when I rolled it not ’alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of versatility was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged battle.
O: Well, he’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ’ for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got ‘im home?
O: The Asuran Engineer prefers kippin’ on it’s back! Remarkable looking, innit, squire? Lovely kits!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Asura when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that engineer down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ‘em apart with its prybar, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this engineer wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! ’E’s bleedin’ demised!
O: No no! ’E’s pining!
C: ’E’s not pinin’! ’E’s passed on! This engineer is no more! He has ceased to be! ’E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ’E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the floor ’e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ’istory! ’E’s off the twig! ’E’s kicked the bucket, ’e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-ENGINEER!!
(pause)
O: Well, I’d better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ‘round the back of the shop, and uh, we’re right out of engineers.
C: I see. I see, I get the picture.
O: I got a warrior.
(pause)
C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, is it versatile?
O: Nnnnot really.
C: WELL IT’S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
O: Look, if you go to my brother’s game store in Bolton, he’ll replace the engineer for you.
C: Bolton, eh? Very well.
The customer leaves.

Buildin a sentry

spy’s sapping my dispenser

nope

ohwait.

Yoda: “Engineer, or do not. There is no nerf.”

LOL I should have known my engineer was only held in place by a couple of nails.

“Anet, just killed a man, threw some nades right at his head
They all crit’d, now he’s dead.
Anet, the game had just begun
But now you’ve gone and nerfed it all away.”
~Queen (of versatility)

On SPvP Engineer downing Engineer
You just ain’t doing it right – Engineer Team Fortress 2

Activates Super Speed and Slick Shoes
“You can’t catch me, I’m the Engineer man!”

“Only two things are infinite, Thief ingenuity and Engineer nerfs, and I’m not sure about the former.”

Ooh ooh I’ve got one!

“In 2012 a crack engineer unit was nerfed by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Tyrian underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Engi-Team!”

—The A-Team (1983)

Buffs only apply to Engineers in a Galaxy…

Far

Far

AWAY.

What is Buffs?!

BABY don’t NERF me…

DON’T nerf me….

no more….

“You’re tearing me apart, A-net!

-The Room (2003)

We’re going down down and i’m getting a frown
But sugar we’re going down swinging (a prybar)
Spec 30 points into bullets
See a guy on a wall just magnet and pull it!

In relation to the most recent locked thread.

“AHH! They do exist”
-Santa, M&Ms commercial

Paragon.6158:

In relation to the most recent locked thread.

“AHH! They do exist”
-Santa, M&Ms commercial

Good to know at least the Mods and Devs are reading what we’re saying I suppose.

Meaning that I’m probably not the most like guys for starting half these joke threads hahaha.

Haha well I think the fact that we have a sense of humor about our situation. Honestly this whole thread reminds me of when Wow first launched and everyone hated Paladins and Druids. They where meant to be the versatile classes in the game but they did everything subpar and where only brought along to raids for one or two skills.

Paragon.6158:

Haha well I think the fact that we have a sense of humor about our situation. Honestly this whole thread reminds me of when Wow first launched and everyone hated Paladins and Druids. They where meant to be the versatile classes in the game but they did everything subpar and where only brought along to raids for one or two skills.

we dont even HAVE raids to be brought along for one or two skills, haha

can you imagine if we had 10, 25, or 40 man raids in GW2?

Engineer- “GUYS GUYS! Can I come and play?”
Guardian- “I dunno…..we kinda don’t really need an Engineer.”
Engineer- “Aw come on fellas! I’ll do my best! Honest!”
Mesmer- “Well…I mean your role is kinda filled by the Elementalist…”
Engineer- “I promise I’ll stay in the corner, and I won’t make a sound! You guys won’t even notice I’m there!”
(Assassin Shrugs)
Ranger- “Fine! But we don’t wanna hear ONE peep outta you this whole time got it?!”
Engineer- “YAAAAY! THANKS GUYS!”

and that was the highlight of our day