Guild Wars 2

Float like a guardian, sting like a necromancer aaaaaaaaaaaah rumble nerfed engy rumble aaaaaaaaaaaaah! – Muhammad Anet

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the game. Professionals built the Engineer. – Author Unknown

Arena.net: yea, engineer was amazing! grenades and everything, but he just needed this slight nerf.
Engineer: NO NERFS!
Arena.net: wha?
Engineer: Flamethrower, useful weapon, no? missed it’s air blast shot, poor engineer was rushed by a theif. NO NERFS!
Arena.net: but, wait, what ab…
Engineer: Elixir gun, healing weapon, quite effective in it’s prime, then it lost a lot of it’s healing capability, poor engineer just needed one more health point, NO NERFS!
Arena.net: But they are so…
Engineer: Grenade kit, explosive device, often described as the only thing engineers had left. It’s damage was taken away from it, Engineer was never invited to a dungeon again. NO NERFS!
Arena.net: But…
Engineer: Buggy traits! Unreliable elixirs! A bad sense of versatility!
engineer wallops Arena.net with a wrench: NO NERFS!
Incredibles (2004) Not exactly sure when Edna hits Mr. Incredible, pretty sure she did, though

Nerf my mines. Nerf my bombs.
Nerf me and my pistol shots.
I don’t care, I’m engineer.
You can’t take my class from me.

Kick me out of the group.
Tell em I’m a useless noob.
Nerf my kits and weak my ‘nades.
You can’t take my class from me.

There no other I can’t be
since I found my engineer.
But you can’t take my class from me.

Firefly – Opening Theme

My Engineer pulls out his Flamethrower

“Say hello to my little friend!”

miss miss miss miss

Wait…..lemme…just move a little to…..the left….okay

“And I will strike down upon thee..”

miss miss miss miss

Sonofa…..okay Flame Blast time!

“You ever dance with the devil in da pale moon light?”

Obstructed

Ahh **** off.

This thread is hilarious, but it’s also making me sad.

Are we really the worst class in the game, even worse than Rangers?

Not really sure, but we have to trait and gear into our desired role if you want to do it right and effectively, while sacrificing the ability to do anything else, where as other proffesions don’t need to sacrifice all their traits and gear in order to do one thing effectively. Our damage is subpar, might stacking is supbar, combo fields are subpar, we are often stealthnerfed, we suffer from potentially fatal RNG skills, many important skills and traits are bugged causing unintentional affects or simply don’t work, we lose wep atributes from using kits, and so on.. so to say we are the worst is maybe the truth, maybe not. Necro’s have it pretty bad, but I’ve never rolled a ranger so I can’t tell you about that…

Lord Aargadon.4135:

Not really sure, but we have to trait and gear into our desired role if you want to do it right and effectively, while sacrificing the ability to do anything else, where as other proffesions don’t need to sacrifice all their traits and gear in order to do one thing effectively. Our damage is subpar, might stacking is supbar, combo fields are subpar, we are often stealthnerfed, we suffer from potentially fatal RNG skills, many important skills and traits are bugged causing unintentional affects or simply don’t work, we lose wep atributes from using kits, and so on.. so to say we are the worst is maybe the truth, maybe not. Necro’s have it pretty bad, but I’ve never rolled a ranger so I can’t tell you about that…

When I rolled an Engi I did so after learning and actually discovering in game the ele’s were supposedly the worst class in the game. Now it’s true that most of this games classes are worse off then the plate wearers who are brought up in every comparison but after playing these classes it’s easy to understand why. They’re very straightforward and almost mindless in direction and therefore easy to balance.

I’ve never felt significantly weak on my engi, but then again I haven’t ran too many instances and I spvp with unorthodox trait lines (30 arms 30 alch 10 tools) which is difficult to determine in efficiency.

As much as I would like to talk about class philosiphy and balance, lets save that for a different thread. Back to the jokes n’ quotes!

“Your ENGINEER is evolving into a COMMANDO! Sorry, this feature has been temporarily disabled”

“…Let us not wallow in the forums of loneliness, I say to you today, my Engineers.

And so even though we face the nerfs, bugs, and RNG of Elixirs and Flamethrower, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the MMO Manifesto.

I have a dream that one day this profession will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all professions are created equal.’

I have a dream that one day on the green hills of Kryta, the sons of former Engineers and the sons of former A-net Devs will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the continent of Kyta, a place sweltering with the heat of neglect, sweltering with the heat of imbalance, will be transformed into an oasis of care and versatility.

I have a dream that my five little engineers(because we all know Martin rolled one for every race) will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the choice of their profession but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!…" -Martin Luther King Jr.(You know he played this)

—
“Turn up the Good, turn down the Suck!”
-FUBAR.
—

No need to edit that one.

And a little something I’ve been working on:

—
(Set to the tune of ‘Modern Major-General’s Song’)

I am the very ideal of ‘Extreme Versatility’.
I’ve ways to spec in crowd control and kits and high mobility.
When I immobilize you I apply vulnerability,
And then I knock you over again and again incessantly.

My weapon doesn’t have the range the name of ‘rifle’ might suggest.
It’s really more a shotgun but it does its job; I won’t protest.
Oh, sure the Warrior with his can snipe me from a great distance,
But if you play it right the Engi’s rifle really can impress.

It’s difficult to cope with my complete lack of Stability,
But if I take Elixirs I stack other boons increasingly.
In short in matters crowd control and kits and high mobility,
I am the very ideal of ‘Extreme Versatility’.
—

-Travail.

“I wish Prybar was my atuo attack” -Said every Engineer

Lord Aargadon.4135:

“I wish Prybar was my atuo attack” -Said every Engineer

Oh god…please no…

next update

Engineer update!

Prybar is now Engineer’s autoattack!

Only works if you’re standing at your target’s right side facing 30 degrees away from him when the sun is rising in game while they have 3 boons and 1 condition while swapping weapons.

Sigils are removed to balance this.

“Omigod! You killed Engy!”

-SouthPark (every episode)

“With Great Versatility, comes Great Nerfing.” -Uncle Ben from Spiderman

“In brightest day, in blackest night, no RNG shall escape my sight. Let those who worship stunbreaker’s might, beware my versatility – Engineer’s kit!” -Green Lantern

“Never compromise. Not even in the face of Nerfageddon.” -Rorschach from The Watchmen

“It’s Nerfin’ time!” Power Rangers, or The Thing…w/e you prefer

“You don’t understand. I’m not nerfed in here with you. You’re nerfed in here with me.” -Rorschach The Watchmen

“Face it, Tiger, you just hit the RNG.” -Mary Jane Watson from Spiderman

“Players are a superstitious and cowardly lot, so my next profession must be able to strike terror into their hearts. I must be a creature of versatility, selfstunning, nerfable, an Engineer!” -The Batman

“KIT ON!” -Johnny Storm, the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four

“What, are you dense? Are you stupid or something? Who the heck do you think I am? I’m the gosh darn Engineer.” -Batman

Arena-Net – "We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better…stronger…faster.”

Engineer – Who me!? Yes finally!

Arena-Net – “No, the Warrior”

Engineer – “Ffffffffffffffffff…”

Warrior – “LOL!”

“Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss…” -Flamethrower

Hi it’s Vince with NerfChop. You’re gonna be in a great mood all day because you’re gonna be nerfing all the goodness away with the NerfChop. Now look here’s the Engineer. One nerf you got big chunks of complaints, two nerfs— goodbyes in a second. Now look at this you add weapon sigils. The more it benefits the finer the nerfs. You don’t have to switch any builds! Now, you love versatility, but you hate low damage that’s why you don’t have many gadgets in your slots. Now with one nerf, solved. I love grenades, but once in awhile get other kits in, at least let one waste a slot. You’re gonna change your usefulness. DPS, support, tanking in like five patches-four, five patches it’s done. This thing—this bomb kit looks boring. Stop having a boring build, stop having a boring life. Add that kit, put it here like this. Now you’re gonna have a nice patched kit. You’re going to have a versatile life now. Here’s artillery barrage. One nerf— you add the damage, you add the stun, and what you can do is mix things together. You add the range, and you’re gonna love this. Don’t have time to theorycraft? Nerf it to heck. You’re gonna love my nerfs. – Vince Offer

“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” – Daft Punk

Work It
Make It
Do It
Makes Us
Harder
Better
Faster
Stronger
More Than
Hour
Our
Never
Ever
After
Work is
Over

One of our many official anthems. Or what we’re just hoping for in general.

All things have a right to be nerfed.

This Engineer has Nerfs, and here they are!

I could outrun a Nerf!

Urge to Nerf rising!

My momma always said, “Patch notes was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Edited to better version! ^^

Engies? Engies?! We don’ need no stinkin’ engies!

A guard: “I use to be an engineer like you, until I took a nerf to the knee”

Skyrim.

FiftyTwoBears.5482:

Afroman

“Because I Got Nerfed”

It’s Like, I don’t care about nothin man,
Equip another Kit, Yea (ohh ohh ohh)

La da da da da da La, Da Daaa,
La da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa

I was gonna Nade some Fools, until I got nerfed
I was gonna get up, and stunbreak myself, but then I got bugged
my Kits are still messed up, and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go PvP, before I got nerfed
I coulda gotten fixed and balanced but then I got nerfed
(La da da da da da da da da)
I’m whining about it on the forums, and I know why, (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna use my Flamethrower Kit, but then I got nerfed
I just wanna hit something, but then I got nerfed
Now I’m forced to use Grenade Kit, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna do some fractals, before I got nerfed
I was gonna join a pug, but then I got nerfed
They didn’t let me in, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go TankCat,before I got nerfed
I was gonna get get the gear, but then I got nerfed
I’m thinking about it, but it’s not worth it, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna Static Discharge, before I got nerfed
I was gonna hit my targets, but then I got nerfed
I’m praying to the 6 Gods, but I know I’ll die, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna chug some Elixirs, before I got nerfed
I was hoping for something good, but then I got nerfed
The RNG is screwing me over, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

(La da da da da da da da da)

I wasn’t gonna cry about it, before I got nerfed
I was gonna man up, and be versatile, but then I got nerfed
Now I’m on the forums typin, and I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
-cause I got nerfed (repeat 3x)

I’m gonna stop singing this song, because I’ nerfed
I’m singing this whole thing wrong, because I’m nerfed
and if we don’t get fixed soon, I know why (why man?) yeah heyy,
CAUSE ARENANET HATES US
CAUSE ARENANET LOVES WARRIORS
CAUSE WE’RE BROKEN

Get jiggy wit it, skibbidy bee bop diddy do wahhh

- cause I’m nerfed [repeat 3X]

(hey where the versatility at cuz) [clucks]

[/quote]

XDXDXDXD LMAO that should be our theme song. XD

Anet vs Eng….FIGHT!!
MORTAL NERFBAT!!!
badabadabadabadadada (repeat way to much)
MORTAL NERFBAT!!!
Eng misses with flamethrower, lays a turret and some voice in the background goes (WHOOPSIES)
Anet takes nerfbat and striketh eng down…NERFALITY

Time of my life ( Anet and Eng duo rendition)

Anet: Now I’ve had the time of my life
No I never felt like this before
Yes I swear it’s the truth
and I owe it all to nerfin you

Eng: ‘Cause I’ve had the nerf of my life
and I owe it all to you(ANET)

ANET: I’ve been waiting for so long
Now I’ve finally found someone
To nerf and its youuu engineer.

Eng: We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy nerf

Both: Now with passion in our eyes
There’s no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other’s hand
‘Cause we seem to understand the urgency of nerfin

Anet: just remember

Eng: I’m the one who

Anet: I can’t nerf enough of

Eng: So I’ll tell you something

Both:This could be nerf love

(CHORUS)
Both: I’ve had the nerf of my life
No I never nerfed this way before
Yes I swear it’s the truth
And I owe it all to you
‘Cause I’ve had the nerf of my life
And I’ve searched through possible build
’Til I found the truth
And I owe this nerf to you

Solcaust.4173:

“Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss…” -Flamethrower

Best quote ever. You sir, win the GW2 forum! I spit soda out my nose.

“Yes we can’t” – Obama’s Engineers

" ‘Is there – is there buff in Gilead? – tell me – tell me, I implore!’
Quoth ArenNet – ‘Nevermore.’ " – The Raven, Edgar Allan Poe

Biff Tannen: Nerf! I hate nerf!

Engineer: Now you see that buffing engineer will always triumph, because nerfing is dumb.
…….
Engineer: What the Hell am I looking at?! When does this nerf happen ?
Dev: Now! You’re looking at “nerfing,” sir. Everything that happens now is nerfing.
Engineer: What happened to buffing “then?”
Dev: We passed “then”.
Engineer: When?
Dev: Just now. We’re at nerf “now.”
Engineer: Go back to buffing “then.”
Dev: When?
Engineer: Now.
Dev: Now?!
Engineer: Now!
Dev: I can’t buff.
Engineer: Why?
Dev: We missed buffing it.
Engineer: When?
Dev: Just now.
EngineerWhen will “then” be “now?”
Dev: Soon.
Engineer: How soon?

-Spaceballs
Engineer played by Dark Helmet
Dev played by Col Sanders

“Nerfs to the right of them,
Nerfs to the left of them,
Nerfs in front of them,
Volley’d and thunder’d.
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the Jaws of Nerfs,
Into the mouth of hell…
Rode the Engineers.”

Charge of the Light Bridage

“They’ve got us nerfed…Those poor kittens.”
-Anonymous kid who is now a contributor to Overly Manly Man

I have seen enough of one ’nade nerf never to wish to see another. – Thomas Jefferson

All nerf-fare is based on deception. – Sun Tzu

Come you engineers of war
You that build all the turrets
You that build the death ‘nades
You that build the big ol’ bombs
You that hide behind guardians
You that hide behind elementalists
I just want you to know I can see through your nerfs. – Bob Dylan

“In brightest day, in blackest night,
No engi shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship engi’s might,
Beware my power, ArenaNet’s light!!! "

All you need is Nerf.
- John Lennon

And so it goes on, and on. Day after day, year after year,. Nerfs in this ear, nerfs in that ear. Don’t you you ever yearn for change?

- Eddie Hitler, Bottom Live

FiftyTwoBears.5482:

“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” – Daft Punk

Possibly a more appropriate video to accompany this would be:

http://youtu.be/K2cYWfq--Nw

Which accurately demonstrates the dexterity needed to compete with another profession’s auto-attack … I exaggerate for comic effect.

“Do you see what happens, Anet, when you kitten an engie in the kitten !” – The Big Lebowski

We are the Versatile – my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting – till the end –
We are the Versatile –
WE ARE THE VERSATILE!
No time for buffs
’Cause we are the Versatile – of the world –
- queen

Hi, I’m GW2 Engineer, welcome to J aac k aass! * stuns himself *

- Johny Knoxville..

Wanderbeard.3291:

Hi, I’m GW2 Engineer, welcome to J aac k aass! * *stuns himselkitten

- Johny Knoxville..

Awesome! * stuns himself *

You think Bugs are your ally?, I was BORN in it; MOLDED by it~ . . . . . . NERFBAT

Bane~

“I find your lack of a versatility disturbing” Lord Vader

“At last, you know what it means to hate. Now you’re ready to be an Engineer.” – Braveheart (1995)

Engineer: “Why is the vitality gone?”
ANet: “Because it is a vile attribute that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels.”
Engineer: “But why is the vitality gone?” – Pirates of the Caribbean : Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

“Forget the power of gadgets, elixirs and common balance. Forget the promise of progress and buffs, for there is no peace across the stars, only an eternity of nerfs and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting devs.

In the grim darkness of the far future there is only NERF." – Warhammer 40,000

If only engineers were more like techmarines…

“Step by step, heart to heart
left right left
We all fall down
like Engineers
Bit by bit, torn apart
we never win
But the battle wages on
for Engineers”

Anet: Run, run, run as fast as you can, You can’t catch me, I’m an engineer!
engineer: You’re a monster!
anet: I’m not the monster here, engineers are! You and the rest of those granade throwing fools, burning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the elixers?
engineer: nerf me! *spits in anets face

enginner: NO! Not the flamethrower! Not my fiery gun of doom!

bad edits of shrek quotes >.<

A man in northern Gendarren was shot roughly 20 times in 1995 and lived to tell about it. The part-time rapper Sgt. Kohler was shot nine hundred times in 2000 and has since released three albums (I skewer your heart recently made platinum). And in 2006, Bandit Boss Keith survived 19 gunshot wounds during the 50-shot fusillade that killed undercover Seraph Bobby Bell.

While surviving numerous gunshots could be a miraculous feat, doctors who have treated gunshot victims say that being shot is not automatically a death sentence.

When major organs — the heart and brain especially — and blood vessels are avoided, the chances of survival are good, they said. The catch, of course, is that there is no science to preventing a bullet from hitting a vital part of the body if the shooter has the proper skill.

“It’s a matter of total, straight class,” said Dr. Vinny A. R. E. NaNet, the former chief medical examiner in Clawrr Island, L.A., and the author of a book on gunshot wounds first published in 1985.

“One bullet can kill you,” he said, “but only if you’re a warrior. Otherwise I think you’re pretty good.”

I did this for another thread but I also want to share it here =D

As Engineer Yosemitebear said one time:
“Whoa, that’s a double rain-nerf.
All the way.
Double rain-nerf.
Oh my God.
It’s a double rain-nerf all the way.
Whoa.
Man.
Whoa ho-ho.
Wow.
WHOOOOAAAAA!!!! YEAHH!!!
WOOOO!!
(cries in the background)
Oh my God, look at that.
It’s starting to even look like a triple rain-nerf.
Oh my God.
(cries more)
God.
(yells more in the valley)
What does this mean?!
Oh, God.
It so bright and vivid.
OH!! OH!!
SOB It. so. BEAUTIFUL!!! SOB
(engineer yosemitebear cries intensely over the valley)”

This one really happened…

Group Leader: LF1M AC Story Mode
Me: I’m up for AC story, level 35 engineer

the entire group proceeds to throw toilet paper and rotten eggs at me

Me: WTF? Halloween is over…
Group Leader: So are engineers.

I ever tell you about the one timetime my buddy Engie and I, and we were on top of a burning Nerf Bat and we had to fight our way down like 5 floors of Risen and….. wait a second…. I guess that was you guys*, ahhh shi#% man, I can’t WAIT to tell Engie about this one!" ~Ellis L4D2 One of my favorite video game characters

*guys refers to warriors, who somehow always escape the nerf bat.