Guild Wars 2

“One does not simply walk into ’nade spam”

“Kill it before it lays eggs!” ANet dev about 100nades

so…I’m gonna bring this back, as this last patch will give us much to quote about I think

FiftyTwoBears.5482:

so…I’m gonna bring this back, as this last patch will give us much to quote about I think

6 pages in though… it’s now impossible to know if something’s already been quoted without reading through it all. So I’m going to take a stab in the dark.

Johnny Doyle: "How about I tell you where you got your nerfs. If I win, you give me a job. If I lose you can have my ring.

Merv: Deal. But you’re never going to get that job, Johnny, and here’s why. I bought these nerfs on a cruise in international waters, so no matter what you say, you’re wrong.

Johnny Doyle: But Merv, I didn’t say I would tell you where you’d bought ‘em, I said I’d tell you where you got ’em, and right now you got ’em on your Engineer."

- Poolhall Junkies (2002)

“You take the blue nerf… the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red nerf, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” – The Matrix (1999)

“Get your stinking hands off me, you kitten dirty dev!”

- Planet of the Apes

“Well, it was parked in the handicapped zone. Perhaps they nerfed it.” – The Big Lebowski (1998)

Dev: “Engineers are OP. Anet and me, we’re gonna kitten you up!”

Engineers: “Well… That’s just, like, your opinion, man.”

Dev: "Let me tell you something, Engineers. You pull any of your crazy kitten with us, you share your good builds on the forums… We’ll take it away from you stick it up your kitten and nerf the kittening build until it goes “poof”."

- The Big Lebowski (1998)

Ghostbusters:
Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the kit refinement was shut off by kittenless here.
Walter Peck: But engineers were causing explosions!
Mayor: Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it’s true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no kitten.

Some stuff from various discworld books:

“DROP THE WRENCH, AND TURN AROUND SLOWLY” – THIEF

“Sometimes it’s better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.”

“Certain things have to happen before other things. Arenanet play games with the fates of classes. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board, and look all over the place for the dice.”

Regarding the incoming patch:
“Riddle me this, riddle me that. Who’s afraid of the big nerf bat?”
(The Riddler, Batman Forever, 1995)

Sam Lowry: “I suppose one has to expect a certain amount.”

Harry Tuttle, Heating Engineer: “Why? I came into this game for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there’s trouble, a man alone. – Now they’ve got the whole country sectioned off.”

from Brazil directed by Terry Gilliam, 1985

When you hear the sound of nerf, don’t you get too scared.
Just grab your engi buddy and say these magic words:
F—k you nerf, you can suck my wrench.
You can’t get me nerf, cause you’re just A-Net’s farts.

Ted (2012)

Losers whine about how their class got nerfed. Winners reroll warrior and go home to kitten the prom queen.

Sean kittening Connery, The Rock

“That’s great. That’s just kittening great, man. Now what the kitten are we supposed to do? We’re in some real pretty nerfs now, man!
…
That’s it man, game over man, game over! What the kitten are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do? " – Hudson, Aliens (1986)

Warriors are OP in PvE, Mesmers are OP in PvP, better nerf engineers.

Famous LoL fact.

“My name is engineer, you nerfed my father…..prepare to die”

And now you understand. Anything goes wrong, anything at all… your fault, my fault, nobody’s fault… it won’t matter – I’m gonna nerf your head off. No matter what else happens, no matter who is OP I’m gonna nerf your head off. – Big Jake 1971, A-net to Engineers

(spoken to an ANet Dev …)
I find your lack of buffs … disturbing.

“Pick a nerf and pray.” (Fire Emblem Awakening)

It’s how you handle the machine

When the engineers fear the nerf, there is tyranny. When the nerf fears the engineers, there is liberty. /Thomas Jefferson – third President of the United States

Lord Aargadon.4135:

“Hello, my profession is Engineer. You nerfed my build. Prepare to die.” ~ The Princess Bride

^ This one actually made me LOL.

Disgruntled Engineer Player: “There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.”

Anet: “What?”

DEP: “Don’t nerf the engineer.”

Anet: “Why?”

DEP: “It would be bad.”

Anet: “We’re fuzzy on the whole good, bad thing. What do you mean by bad?”

DEP: “Try to imaging all play as you know it stopping instantaneously and every server in your system exploding at the proc of 100 ’nades.”

NCSoft: “Total revenue reversal.”

Anet: “OK. That’s bad.”

- Ghostbusters (1984)

A-Net: So, what does your engineer do?

Player: [quickly] Nothing!

A-Net: Nothing?

Player: Well, he just lies around on his back all day.

A-Net: Sounds like hard work to me.

-Clue (1985)

Anet Dev’s: [telling a joke] The doctor draws two engineers and says “What do you see?” the guy says “Nerfs”

[everybody laughs]

Anet Dev: Wait a minute, I haven’t even told the joke yet! So the doctor draws turrets, “What do you see?” the guy says “nerfs”. The doctor draws a elixer, flamethrower, “Nerf, nerf, nerf”. The doctor says to him “You are obsessed with nerfs”, he replies “Well you’re the one drawing all the op abilities!”

-What about Bob (1991)

“Remember when I said I’d nerf you last? I lied.” — Commando (1985)

…[M]y time hieth fast, said the Engineer. Therefore, said the Engineer unto Sir Bedivere, take thou Excalibur, my good prybar, and go with it to yonder water side, and when thou comest there I charge thee throw my prybar in that water, and come again and tell me what thou there seest. My lord, said Bedivere, your commandment shall be done, and lightly bring you word again.

So Sir Bedivere departed, and by the way he beheld that noble prybar, that the handle and the haft was all of precious stones; and then he said to himself: If I throw this rich prybar in the water, thereof shall never come good, but harm and loss. And then Sir Bedivere hid Excalibur under a tree. And so, as soon as he might, he came again unto the Engineer, and said he had been at the water, and had thrown the prybar in the water. What saw thou there? said the Engineer. Sir, he said, I saw nothing but waves and winds. That is untruly said of thee, said the Engineer, therefore go thou lightly again, and do my commandment; as thou art to me lief and dear, spare not, but throw it in. Then Sir Bedivere returned again, and took the prybar in his hand; and then him thought sin and shame to throw away that noble prybar, and so eft he hid the prybar, and returned again, and told to the Engineer that he had been at the water, and done his commandment. What saw thou there? said the Engineer. Sir, he said, I saw nothing but the waters wap and waves wan. Ah, traitor untrue, said the Engineer, now hast thou betrayed me twice. Who would have weened that, thou that hast been to me so lief and dear? and thou art named a noble knight, and would betray me for the richness of the prybar. But now go again lightly, for thy long tarrying putteth me in great jeopardy of my life, for I have taken cold. And but if thou do now as I bid thee, if ever I may see thee, I shall slay thee with mine own hands; for thou wouldst for my rich prybar see me dead.

Then Sir Bedivere departed, and went to the prybar, and lightly took it up, and went to the water side; and there he bound the girdle about the hilts, and then he threw the prybar as far into the water as he might; and there came an arm and an hand above the water and met it, and caught it, and so shook it thrice and brandished, and then vanished away the hand with the prybar in the water. So Sir Bedivere came again to the Engineer, and told him what he saw. Alas, said the Engineer, help me hence, for I dread me I have tarried over long. Then Sir Bedivere took the Engineer upon his back, and so went with him to that water side. And when they were at the water side, even fast by the bank hoved a little barge with many fair ladies in it, and among them all was a queen, and all they had black hoods, and all they wept and shrieked when they saw the Engineer. Now put me into the barge, said the Engineer. And so he did softly; and there received him three queens with great mourning; and so they set them down, and in one of their laps the Engineer laid his head. And then that queen said: Ah, dear brother, why have ye tarried so long from me? alas, this nerf on your head hath caught over-much cold. And so then they rowed from the land, and Sir Bedivere beheld all those ladies go from him.

from Le Morte D’Engineur by Sir Thomas Malory

O Passerby, go tell the Developers
That here we and our turrets lie,
Obeying their nerfs.

epitaph on the 300 Engineers at Thermopylae

ANet dev about playing an Engineer: “Did I ever tell you the definition of…..insanity?” – Vaas, Far Cry 3

“I’m the king of the nerfs” – Titanic

“After all, tomorrow is another nerf!” – Gone with the wind

An Engineer? In a Structured Tournament? That’s not a good idea..

“I find your lack of Faith disturbing.”

Penguin.5197:

“Paulie want a nerf!” – Random parrot

But in all seriousness theres no way we can get another nerf. Im actually expecting a buff with no strings attached for jan update. Hopefully.

lol. that is all.

Hmmm, how about:
“Prepare yourself, nerf is coming.”
-Game of Thrones

We have found an Engineer, may we nerf it? – Monty Python and the Holy Grail

draner.5213:

Penguin.5197:

“Paulie want a nerf!” – Random parrot

But in all seriousness theres no way we can get another nerf. Im actually expecting a buff with no strings attached for jan update. Hopefully.

lol. that is all.

Ooof how wrong I was :/

In my defense though we didn’t get a nerf that month

“I am sick and kitten tired of all these mother kitten nerfs in this mother kitten game!”
- an engie in “Nerfs in a Game”

The nerf will fall when the buffing is asked

“You fool! No Engineer can kill me. Die now!” -Witch King (2003)

dimly lit small room, three engineers approach an ominously glowing blood red hologram of a Mark II Golem towering above them.

(golem) – YOU ARE NOT THE WARRIOR.

(engi2) – What is this, some kind of butler golem?

(golem) – RUDIMENTARY PROFESSION OF COGS AND GEARS. YOU TOUCH MY MIND, THUMBLING IN IGNORANCE. INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING.

(engi3) – I dont think this is a butler golem.

(golem) – THERE IS A REALM OF EXISTANCE SO FAR BEYOND YOUR OWN YOU CANT EVEN IMAGE IT. I AM BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION. I AM ARENANET.

(engi1) – ArenaNet isn’t just a Nerfbat weapon the Warrior found. It is an actual Nerfer!

(ArenaNet) – NERFER. A LABEL INVENTED BY THE PVE MESMERS OF GUILD WARS 1 TO GIVE VOICE TO THEIR DESTRUCTION. IN THE END WHAT THEY CHOSE TO CALL US IS IRRELEVANT. WE SIMPLY ARE.

(engi2) – PvE Mesmers in Guild Wars 1 were nerfed to oblivion 250 years ago! You could not have been there, its impossible!

(ArenaNet) – VERSATILE PROFESSIONS ARE NOTHING BUT DEVELOPING MUTATION. AN ACCIDENT. YOUR USEFULLNESS IS MEASURED IN SUPPORT AND DPS. IN BOTH ASPECTS YOU WITHER AND DIE. WE ARE ETERNAL. BEFORE US YOU ARE NOTHING. YOUR DESTRUCTION IS INNEVITABLE.

(engi1) – Whatever your upcoming update notes state, you will fail! I will make sure of that!

(ArenaNet) – CONFIDENCE BORN OF IGNORANCE. THE CYCLE CANNOT BE BROKEN.

(engi2) – Cycle? What cycle?

(ArenaNet) – THE PATTERN HAS REPEATED ITSELF MORE TIMES THAN YOU CAN FATHOM. PROFESSION IDEAS RISE, EVOLVE, AND AT THE APEX OF THEIR GLORY, THEY ARE EXTINGUISHED. THE MESMERS WERE NOT THE FIRST. THEY DID NOT CREATE “OVERPOWERED”. THEY DID NOT INVENT “TROLLING THE ENEMY”. THEY MERELY REDISCOVERED THESE, THE LEGACY OF MY KIND.

(engi1) – Why would you create these things and let the professions find them?

(ArenaNet) – YOUR TACTICS IN BATTLE ARE BASED ON “TROLLING” WITH VERSATILITY. OUR TACTIC. BY USING IT, YOUR KIND DEVELOPS ALONG THE PATH WE DESIRE. WE IMPOSE ORDER ON THE CHAOS OF PLAYER ENGINUITY. YOU EXIST BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT, AND YOU WILL END, BECASUE WE DEMAND IT.

(engi3) – They are nerfing us! Letting us grow our expectations to the level they want, then obliterating our hopes!

(engi1) – Where do you come from? Who built you?

(ArenaNet) – WE HAVE NO BEGINNING. WE HAVE NO END. WE ARE INFINITE. MILLIONS OF PATCHES AFTER YOUR PROFESSION HAS BEEN ERADICATED AND FORGOTTEN, WE WILL ENDURE.

(engi1) – Where are the rest of the Nerfers? Are you the last of your kind?

(ArenaNet) – WE ARE LEGION. THE TIME OF OUR NEXT PATCH IS COMING. OUR UPDATE NOTES WILL DARKEN THE DAY OF EVERY PLAYER. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR DOOM.

(engi1) – You are not even alive! Not really. You are just a machine, and machines can be broken. Or tweaked. Or altered. Or fixed. Or salvaged. Or repurposed. Its kind of our thing really… You know… Machines…?

(ArenaNet) – YOUR WORDS ARE AS EMPTY AS YOUR FUTURE. I AM THE VANGUARD OF YOUR DESTRUCTION. THIS EXCHANGE IS OVER.

room crushed under the weight of a 1Gb patch with not a single bug fix for the engineer.

^ … win.

Nerf, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think’st, thou dost overthrow,
Weak’n not, poore nerf, nor yet canst thou nerf mee.
From patche and fix, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with class-change doe goe,
Rest of their names, and chars deliverie.
Thou art slave to Whine, Chance, bugs, and desperate devs,
And dost with flamer, naydes, and elixirie dwell,
And trait change, or range can make us nerf’d as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell’st thou then?
One short patche past, wee wake eternally,
And nerf shall be no more; Nerf, thou shalt be nerfed.

-John Donne on GW2 Engineers, ca 1610

The engineer is not measured by the number of nerfs we take, but by the patches that take our builds away. ~George Carlin

When you look at yourself from an engineer’s standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about. ~Albert Einstein

The only thing necessary for the triumph of Anet is for good Engineers to do nothing

Attributed to Edmund Burke.

With the upcoming balance patch, it’s time to push this thread.^^

Engi A: What do we say to the God of Nerfs?
Engi B: Not today!

Game of Thrones (2011)

Barondil.1459:

With the upcoming balance patch, it’s time to push this thread.^^

Engi A: What do we say to the God of Nerfs?
Engi B: Not today!

Game of Thrones (2011)

This is the engi subforum, not the necro one

Dev A: What do we say to the Buffs for the Engineer?
Dev B: Not today!

Games of Thrones (2011)

Better?

Barondil.1459:

Dev A: What do we say to the Buffs for the Engineer?
Dev B: Not today!

Games of Thrones (2011)

Better?

You completely misunderstood….

then i realized these forums dont tell you the year of the post.

Whoah. This thread was good enough to maybe warrant the massive necro, but…that was a long, long time ago.

“You gonna bring another profession to kill me? Just give me a moment, I’m gonna call Koroshi, Yishis, and Wolfineer. (Snickers).”- Tiny Theof Trololol

Engineers! Ready your builds and play hearty… For next patch, we get nerfed to hell!
(300)