Guild Wars 2

Jayne.9251:

I’d replace Sterling Archer with The Brain (pinky and the ….http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pinky_and_the_Brain) But think the cartoon one could prove hilarious

Oh, good call.

Then we could have Sterling Archer vs. Brock Samson vs. Bender.

For celebrity commanders, I think we need to tighten the themes.

Things like:

- Wimpiest Celebrities Ever Week (example: Emo Phillips vs. Peewee Herman vs. Gilbert Gottfried)
- One Hit Wonders of the 80s Week (example: Kajagoogoo vs. Quiet Riot vs. Toni Basil)
- Cartoon Celebrity Week (example: Sterling Archer vs. Eric Cartman vs. Stewie Griffin)

Actually, I’m planning on approaching this coming week’s match-up theme from a different angle. Hope folks enjoy it.

And to me TC’s Supreme High Commander will always be Gary Busey.

“It`s good for everyone to understand that they are to love their enemies, simply because your enemies show you things about yourself you need to change. So in actuality enemies are friends in reverse.”
— Gary Busey

Jayne.9251:

That’s quite the cleavage on the TC girl in red in the front in that last pix

Ahem. Excuse me.

They prefer “spheres of justice”.

Thank you.

Celebrity Score Update! (Failed Music Career Edition):

mike.8365:

This is impressive.

Go Kaineng!

Yah, it’s okay.

But we got… that camp there!

Woo!

…woo, camp!

Yay!

Furienify.5738:

why are we team lohan

Because she can drink Paris Hilton under the table.

Celebrity Score Update! (Lindsay had a long night)

Celebrity Score Update!

appledainty.8127:

Oh mai it looks dirty~

Oh, nooo, not at all!

…okay, maybe a little.

appledainty.8127:

I was expecting us to drop down a tier so I have no idea where to go with As the Yak Runs now. Time to brainstorm. I have to figure out where Peta disappeared to.

Oh! Oh! I know!

Please read Nalini Singh’s “Slave to Sensation” (shouldn’t take you long), and adapt it to TC and BG (the parallels should be clear).

I dare you!

Sunspots.9861:

So excited to be represented by Paris Hilton!

Actually, it’s looking like Paris is getting beaten over the head with the liquor bottle Lindsey just emptied. Don’t think Ms. P is getting out of that room alive.

Usagi.4835:

So it is like I imagined! Someone I know, Phantom (he might drop by to visit!), loves Cliffside/Dawn’s Eyrie/Cragtop. It’s his baby.

Mine too!

We should probably just rename our guild to “North East Tower” [NET].

Or “Blinky”.

GreyFreeman.2516:

Hydrophidian.4319:

And if she plays GW2 at all, she’s probably on TC.

She more than plays it. She’s in it (Zojja). And I’ve seen a video of her bragging about her Deluxe edition on YouTube.

Yah, but she’s a very busy bee.

Magiofdeath.2745:

Looooool, carrot top!

Here’s another (not sure if this person is natural redhead though).

That’s Felicia Day. Yes, she’s a natural redhead… and an ubergeek. And if she plays GW2 at all, she’s probably on TC.

Sender.7958:

I think we need someone who’s career is beyond all hope of redemption then. I vote Steven Seagal. They didn’t even bother getting him for Expendables 2.

I hear they tried, but they couldn’t afford to pay both him and his ego, and they wouldn’t add any of the songs from his “hit” album onto the soundtrack.

Excellent choice!

EDIT: Oh. My. God. Seagal has his own aftershave, called ‘Scent of Action’.

Please, please, please Blackgate, adopt Seagal as your mascot for this match-up.

pot.6805:

I heard that was a good movie, should I check it out?

If you like low-key black comedy and great acting, then absolutely.

pot.6805:

He ain’t that famous anymore and he is in flop after flop at the box office! lol

Colin’s not yet plummeted so far that he’s in celebrity reality show territory. Besides, In Bruges was a great flick.

I’ll mark you down as a vote for Hasslehoff.

So far, Flava Flav is the clear favorite for Kaineng. And it may be the first time he’s been a clear favorite for anything, so congrats to Flava.

Let’s hear from Blackgate!

Otherwise, you’ll get Hasslehoff, and the Bay Watch jokes will be legion.

Attn: Blackgate and Kaineng servers!

I respectfully request that you both select a d-list and/or trainwreck celebrity to represent your server this week.

Warning: if you don’t select one, I will take… liberties.

You don’t want that.

TC currently has Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan locked in a 10′×10′ room with a quart of Jack Daniels. Whichever one emerges alive will probably be who we go with.

Magiofdeath.2745:

You know what these score updates are missing? Redheads. :x

Kay.

Sunspots.9861:

Why can’t we have Paris Hilton?

Oh, that would be awesome.

Jayne.9251:

Who gets Kathy Griffin?

SoR.

Oh! *badoom tish!* Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

Doomdesire.9365:

BG TC Kain is going to be an epic matchup. Sucks I will miss it

I would like next week to be Celebrity WvW in T2.

Each server, Kaineng, Black Gate and Tarnished Coast, should choose a completely d-list celebrity to represent them.

Black Gate + Rebecca Black seems like a natural fit, no?

Score update!

(unfortunately, Busey photobombed it. So. It’s not very helfpul)

pot.6805:

Thanks for noticing Genesis, glad to see you didn’t buy into the crap talking that server did about us the whole time we were gone from T2.

The Friday afternoon duelfest at the end of our last match-up solidified my appreciation of Blackgate. It wasn’t lost on me that the crowd was predominantly BG and TC (at least while I was there).

This week hasn’t changed my view. If anything, it’s improved it.

Jayne.9251:

Hydro. Did you forget to latch the gate again? You know how confused he gets …. Last time he wandered off we found him sitting cross-legged and naked with the centaurs. I think it’s happened again …..

Not quite, but he was on his way out there when we found him…

roseria.7695:

phaneo.4597:

roseria.7695:

SCORE UPDATE OH YEAH!

ah c’mon…that’s not even semi-nude…

-10 out of 10

I don’t do semi nude !

That’s exactly what the look on her face is saying.

Either that or “I didn’t get the pony!”

Also, here’s a little behind-the-scenes insight intoTarnished Coast. What follows is an excerpt from a voicechat transcript of a strategy meeting involving High Commander Gary Busey and a couple of our guild leaders…

TC1: Okay, so what’s the plan for Aspenwood?

GARY: I have to tell ya, I don’t like sleeping in tents.

TC2: …Tents?

GARY: Aspenwood. That’s that company that makes the trendy camping gear, right?

TC1: No, Mr. Busey, we’re talking about—

GARY: Oh wait— Aspenwood! Yeah! Where the old folks live in Maryland!

TC1: No—

TC2: Actually, he’s right about that.

TC1: Okay, but—

GARY: Yeah, visited a fan there recently. I’d recommend it. Good flow, y’know what I mean? That’s important. Especially for old people. Feng shui, man.

TC1: …Right. Uhm. We’ll… we’ll keep that in mind.

TC2: We were actually referring to Fort Aspenwood, one of our server opponents this week.

GARY: Oh, right, right. Yeah. Yeah, I getchya.

TC1: Yeah.

GARY: Okay, listen up. Seriously…

TC2: We’re listening, Gary.

GARY: …seriously, if I poke myself under my right arm… I get a twinge in my left knee. The human body is a wonder, isn’t it? I mean, it’s really amazing.

TC1: Uhm—

GARY: Hey! Guys! Hey, I gotta go. But this has been great. I feel like we had, y’know, real expansion happening here. Real connection! Yeah! Bye now!

TC2: Bye, Gary!

TC1: Well, uhm. Now what?

TC2: Actually, I think he was trying to tell us something with that arm-knee thing…

The above, having now been posted on the Internet, is obviously a True Story.

This score update brought to you by: High Commander Gary Busey:

Unfortunately.5940:

What’s with TC being all nice in this thread. Where’s the yak-death fueled hate, where’s the grudges.

“Imagine the peace symbol. The peace symbol has three pieces in it. One piece is emotion, that’s your body. Another piece has spirit in it, that’s your fuel. Another piece has intellect in it and that’s your steering wheel. You can never overdo the fuel that goes into the body, which is the emotions and the steering wheel to drive it.”
— Gary Busey, High Commander of Tarnished Coast

Urrid.4593:

Most TC tower people are playing house or flirting with each other. Personally, If you send me a Morch’eeba-inspired playlist on Spotify, a box of chocolates and a bottle of red wine, I just might have to return to Selma District.

Nights In White Satin cover by Dierdre

You can breathily thank me later.

We on Tarnished Coast randomly attack our own holdings in order to remain unpredictable. Who are we fighting? Are we fighting you? Are we fighting ourselves? You never know! But Gary Busey knows!

When asked what his favorite cheese was, Gary Busey responded, “cake.”

That’s the sound of your mind being blown.

Oh yah.

Sins Vorkag.5218:

Avast ye scurvy wretches we be comin’ fer yer wenches, yer ale ‘n rum, ’n yer chests o’ booty!

We of the Tarnished Coast Sensitivity Committee would like to take this time and opportunity (if you’re comfortable with that) to apologize for Sins Vorkag’s language. Particularly the use of the demeaning word ‘wenches’ (we advocate the less disparaging “Horizontally Inclined Person” or “HIP”).

We wish to emphasize the profound respect we hold for people of all classes and levels of promiscuity. And we also wish to assure you that we believe every individual has a fundamental right to dignity. Even if the person happens to be inflicted with scurvy (which we’ve been given to understand is quite common amongst the ranks of our opponents).

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you. And we’d advise incorporating feng shui into your server’s field strategies, in order to counter vitamin deficiency and help promote a healthier community.

Thank you.

Ukridge.4506:

Hydrophidan, please refrain from revealing TC strategic information to the enemy. Spies could mess up our feng shui.

But Gary told me to do it, in between psychic readings!

He said, ‘transparency elevates the soul. They will be crushed by our honesty.’

I’m pretty sure he was moisturizing with avocado dip at the time. At least, that’s what I hope those sounds were. Ew.

Azaruil.3406:

Here is some information on BG and TC.

I don’t find your information to be very accurate. Speaking as someone who’s actually on the server, I can tell you that Tarnished Coast is well below average. I mean, like, flat-line territory here. It’s a miracle we’re even in the tiers at all. We’re so bad, there should be a tier just for us, where we just fight ourselves. Even then, we’d probably manage to lose.

Lemme give you some examples of our “tactics”…

- We use feng shui to determine siege placement. Rather than have our siege be strategically advantageous, it’s more important that it compliment and enhance the space, as well as keep out evil spirits. Flame rams, being the most decorative siege, are most ideally employed at focus points (usually someplace up high) and nowhere near a door. This ensures the proper flow of Qi.

- We have zergs dedicated to hunting neutral mobs in order to “cleanse” the map of “apathetic energies”, and also in case they’re spies. We need at least 20 of our number to do this. Any less, and we run the risk of a random deer wiping us.

- We like to rain treb fire on our own keeps, “just in case”. And because… spies. Sadly, due to our feng shui placement strategy, we often miss. But we keep trying anyway, because it’s the effort that counts, right?

- Our roleplayers have an ongoing competition over who can make the most dramatic and evocative death emote. If you’re fighting someone from our server, and they suddenly just stop doing anything, it’s likely because they’re typing out an emotionally riveting description of their character’s final breath. No, really, we take roleplay that seriously.

- Several of our Commanders are now using our server’s voicecom to provide a psychic hotline service. After all, times are tough; gotta make the coin wherever you can, right? And if you’d like to set up a reading with Madame Commander Jadon or any of our other talented psychics, please contact PiNK for available spots on the schedule.

- Gary Busey plays on our server. He is our strategic mastermind.

…Really, when it comes right down to it, we’re so bad that, if Tarnished Coast is able to hold anything for any period of time at all—or, heavens forfend, actually take something from you—it’s a very strong indicator that there’s something about your own server’s performance that’s deeply and tragically flawed.

My recommendations: if you mean to invade our Borderlands, come in disguised as animals. As long as you avoid our Apathy Negation Zerg, you should be able to traverse the whole of our map freely and unmolested. Also, if attacked by us, simply use the sleep emote. Especially if you’re a Charr or an Asura. We are powerless against its cuteness, and will stop on the spot to go ’d’aaaaaw’ and try to snuggle you.

Good luck! But honestly, our opponents don’t need it.

The issue, if there is indeed an issue (I believe there is), was apparently introduced or exacerbated with Monday’s update.

From my vantage, Monday night, Tuesday night and Wednesday night all had the same dynamic:
- Log in at around the same time (tail end of NA prime time).
- Queue for TCBL. There is a wait. 10-20 minutes.
- Get in, go to where the action is. Due to the nature of this week’s match-up, there’s only been one place where said action’s been at any given time.
- Discover around 20 participants engaged in said action. Always around 20.

To say that this is anomalous would be an understatement. In particular, the rough uniformity of the number is truly bizarre. Why not 30? Why not 40? Where’s the typical fluctuation?

In the wee hours of the morning, well past peak, we were defending a tower on the BL. The number of participants? … Around 20.

As someone who’s played within the contrast of peak hours vs. off hours for months, I can say that I’ve never seen off hours participation match peak hours participation… until Monday.

My server is an NA-focused server. No matter how many distractions or angles you throw into it, shouldn’t a 11PM EST presence with a queue always be bigger than a 6AM EST presence without one?

Sunspots.9861:

I secretly suspect that SoR appears to be more plentiful because they often run as 2 seperate guild groups, a broader militia group, and a couple smaller havoc squads on each map.

Doesn’t really have anything to do with SoR.

What I’ve been seeing the past couple-few nights on TCBL doesn’t jive with what I’ve seen on TCBL for the past several months. I’m looking at TC’s side. SoR doesn’t come into it (aside from its holdings, which actually gives TCers fewer places to be spread out at).

Having a 20 minute queue, and then only being able to muster 20-or-so folks for Break Outs at the Citadel is pretty dang peculiar.

For starters…

- I’d reskin the Borderland map, so that there were 3 versions of it. The versions would remain structurally identical, they’d just have different visual themes.
- I’d get rid of most/all precipitous drops in the BL map. I don’t see the point of them, especially when the EB map doesn’t seem to have them.
- I’d create 2-3 new master BL maps (with 3 versions each) to rotate thru the tiers.
- I’d reposition a lot of the critters. Many of them are just kinda there, and don’t really bring anything to the experience, save annoyance. They could be better utilized. I’d also wanna find more ways for players to use them tactically.
- I’d try to make controlling supply lines more interesting (decoy dolyaks that explode come to mind…)
- I’d completely revamp the Break Out event. I think such a thing should be about the players, not an NPC. I’d rather see player buffs than dependence on a ubermob.
- I’d try to extend benefits to playing defensive roles. Maybe a slowly increasing buff while you’re stationed in a holding? Maybe a bonus to siege usage, additional power unlocks based on how long you’ve been using it?
- There are some big, empty spaces on the BL map. I’d want to do something with those. One idea is to add an event that triggers only if there’s enough battle unfolding on the field. I like the idea of opposing forces having to temporarily sorta-kinda work together to quell a sudden disruption, so they can get back to smishing each other.
- I’d make the JPs their own maps. You’d still have to go thru WvW to get to them, but once there, you wouldn’t count against a map’s player cap. It’d be a good environment for people who want to duel and so forth.

…for starters.

cargan.5689:

Hydrophidian.4319:

Well, why don’t you come on over and find out! bats eyelashes

…We’ll make you a cake!

Warning!!
the cake is a lie
I turned up at a red tower last night hoping for cake and all i got was a zerg of gremlins

Well, see, the gremlins prefer to be collectively called Cake. We don’t argue with them.

Er uhm I mean— I have no idea what you’re talking about!

Solori.6025:

Sergo.2867:

Lalnuir.4957:

I meant does anyone on your server role play as something else when in WvW? Like that tc commander who posts in pirate talk on this forum. Does he talk like that in team chat/vent/ts/whatever???

Yes. But in WvW, it’s pretty rare. Brevity and conveying information are more important. We’re much more likely to RP when meeting in PvE, thanking someone for an assist, or forming PvE pugs.

Not true, I was fighting an invader from TC on my mes, and she RP’ed death after about 4 minutes >_>

Oh, that’s lame. I can drop in under a minute! I’m totally pro at dying. She needs to work on her technique, clearly.

spartanx.1364:

TY Jared! We are trying to work on our ability to break into smaller teams and then quickly stitch back together into a big unit.

I giggled at “big unit”… because I’m apparently still in 4th grade.

Lalnuir.4957:

Harsk.4910:

We are not real WvWers on TC we only roleplay as them!

That doesn’t count

Does too!

(see, we’re doing it right now! Now you say: ‘Does not!’ Then we’ll be in total WvW immersion!)

Indo.8629:

That’s a very unambitious attitude.

Kinda like spending so much focus on pretendy-funtime-wars in a video game?

Let’s face it, none of us are exactly advancing civilization here (and no, playing Civ does not count either).

Lalnuir.4957:

Hydrophidian.4319:

Lalnuir.4957:

Sooooooooo what % of TCers role play on team chat in WvW? I’m just curious

100%! We roleplay as WvW players. We got the lingo down and everything.

Funny. =P
I meant does anyone on your server role play as something else when in WvW? Like that tc commander who posts in pirate talk on this forum. Does he talk like that in team chat/vent/ts/whatever???

Well, why don’t you come on over and find out! *bats eyelashes*

...We’ll make you a cake!

Lalnuir.4957:

Sooooooooo what % of TCers role play on team chat in WvW? I’m just curious

100%! We roleplay as WvW players. We got the lingo down and everything.

RenRen.5706:

Maybe it’s time to go back to ERPing?

Wait— what do you mean “go back to”…?

Uh oh, I think I might be doing this WvW thing all wrong. >.>

Deniara,

I think it was probably a mistake to lead with the “thief” issue.

I do believe GW2 is going to have, and may even be currently having, a problem with retention. I agree that your points are likely contributing factors to this, but I don’t think they’re the only ones. They may not even be the biggest ones.

In the coming 4 to 6 months, I’m hoping to see ANet make some comprehensive adjustments, particularly in the area of combat design and balance, as well as with their monetization model.

All of my own issues with the game can be traced back to these two fundamental points, and the criticisms I see from others usually lead back to these same basics. I think you’d be better served to frame your assessments in those terms.

As for customer service, if I’m not mistaken, that’s handled by NCSoft. And yes, if previous experience with them is any indication, it’s not so great.

Re: Exploits

All we can do, as players, aside from reporting the issues, is cultivate a social environment wherein cheating is clearly frowned upon and people who cheat are ostracized.

The rest is up to ANet.

I, for one, would appreciate it if folks would stop dragging this stuff into these threads. It contributes to a toxic atmosphere that then bleeds its way into the game. For me, it damages the experience as much as the exploiting does. So… can we stop?

Thanks, and have an enjoyable holiday.

Thevoidiscold.4910:

I like how kind you all are to eachother. You know will all be slaughtering each other, tearing peoples eyes out. Ripping a invaders arm off and beating him with it, taking are helmets and throwing em at eachother. Slicing stomachs open and letting the guts spill while they begin to bleed to death in pain and agony.. Bashing each others skulls in

Yah, but… it’s nothing personal.