Guild Wars 2

I gave your idea its due regard and thought about it very hard, and I would suggest these refinements:

1. Tane
2. Plape
3. Bubungo

Happy to be of service in refining this idea into something workable

Sincerely,

The Very Helpful
Orbital Butt

Amaranthe.3578:

you’re quite welcome

I placed a Quaggan in an outhouse and fired the outhouse from a trebuchet and everyone started clapping and cheering. But I’m no hero, just a guy

“Do you know what ‘nemesis’ means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ’orrible ****… me.”

BnooMaGoo.5690:

Greetings

Greetings

Please do not suggest that Quaggan possess use or value. This idea is a violence

Sincerely,

Orbital Butt
Enemy of Quaggan

Lolling at the deadpan serious replies ITT

Why so serious?

Majic.4801:

Coo.

Quaggan likes you.

My God…this is sick. I can’t believe you’d do this. Reported

Here’s what they don’t want you to know about Quaggan, though… they are extremely bad

A quaggan is a demon I will never allow near the holy temple that is my body

Miserymachine.7512:

Dear community,

Quit posting your character names. You aren’t as clever as you think. This is to celebrate the sense of humor that other people have when creating chars.

Truth

Names I’ve seen and enjoyed:

Doodad Voodoo
Dampen Toilutt
Zilfram Weeblow

One of the developers is secretly a series of birds standing on each others backs inside a big coat

This is actually pretty cool. Well done bud, I hope people are appreciative of all the work you’ve done

The tastiest poisons come in those brightly colored containers under the sink. Don’t tell the kids, they aren’t mature enough to appreciate it

If your DPS is low you can listen to the Metal Gear Rising ost to Power Up and gain access to superhuman abilities normal people can only dream of

Three one-dimensional maps

I am a professional costume judger and I have studied MMO fashion at Yale for the past 15 years and I barf whenever I see the color yellow

I can lift 3897kg and I do squats and splats and I can DPS down the Goblin Hive Queen in 11s. Cortana is my friend and she lives in my phone and I kiss her goodnight at bedtime

nottsgman.8206:

I stopped looking at other’s creativity when wings on everyone became a thing.

BrotherBelial.3094:

OrbitalButt.5708:

BrotherBelial.3094:

Famine.3164:

People still lose against DH? Ok…

I do love watching my LB pew pew ranger wast DH’s in seconds. Quite funny.

This is deception. No one has ever killed a DH

Really?.I’m sure I’ve killed a few, and when I play mine I’m sure I’ve been taken out quite a few times my self.

I didn’t think I would actually need to use sarcasm tags on a statement like “No one has ever killed a DH” but here we are

Run back to your ninja village, Naruto.

Evrir.9618:

Oh look, another weeb weapon.

Take your edgy Belinda sword and be happy with it, this ain’t Cantha.

+1

Starter: Old school Shadow Behemoth

Schedule: Modniir Ulgoth

Not on Schedule: Champion Drakin Cinderspire

Orr Boss: Risen Priest of Balthazar

Dragon: The Shatterer. Might not be the most interesting fight but its the one I remember most from being a newbie many moons ago.

HELLO POLLY! I’VE GOT A NICE CUTTLEFISH FOR YOU WHEN YOU WAKE UP, POLLY PARROT!

BrotherBelial.3094:

Famine.3164:

People still lose against DH? Ok…

I do love watching my LB pew pew ranger wast DH’s in seconds. Quite funny.

This is deception. No one has ever killed a DH

You can make food and pretend you’re Gordon Ramsay and wander about hollering at people.

funghetto.1584:

it was a rage? yes.
it is a flame? yes.
versus ANET.

someone said that dragonhunter skills-burst is simply a joke.
and “some skills of dh kill little groups roaming in wvw.” and in the middle of that you cant see the skill?
(Hunter’s Ward btw
Number of Impacts: 4
Maximum Number of Barriers: 5
Duration: 6 seconds)

in an even number fight, what tom says its correct.

you have 5 stability, it needs only one dh to take all of them off with one single skill (and think of all other aoe cc skills that every class has now after Hot).

not to mention all the aoe skills now present from every class.

perfect for fighting pocket raptors or 10 mordrem guards and arrowhead.

skills-weapons done for 4 pve maps! not thinking at all of balance in wvw!

and the result is that with 3k armor and 22k vitality you get damage of a lot of classes and relative builds if in same number fights (not speaking of 1vs1) get damage from 3k to 9k????

takes me back to 3 years ago when i played rampage and with 0 armor and 0 vitality to see those damages!!!

regards anet

Bibba boo blab, I’m a bibbly boo brimbadimba!!!!??!!!!??!

[feeds transcript of post into universal translator]

Me: Computer, begin translation.
Computer: Boople doo dingle

[computer spits out a nearly blank piece of paper]

Me [reading]: “…poopy plabus. Bingun.” Hmm. Profound.
Computer: Deedle doot

Good question. The answer is Blood Elf

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE JOHN THE BAPTIST’S IMPERSONATION OF GRAHAM HILL.

RIP City of Heroes/Villains

I can’t see this game seriously competing with Dota2/LoL/HotS.

4. The Ragequit

…
……
………
…………fart

Beloved OP,

It’s me again, the good and trustworthy Orbital Butt, friend to all and extremely important person. In this game you have chosen, Guild Wars 2, you may in your travels encounter large structures, ruins, outcroppings, mountains, heaps, piles, mounds, or other such interesting looking blobs of landscape. You should immediately and without hesitation fling yourself face first into these aforementioned blobs, as they may be Jumping Puzzles in disguise.

Jumping Puzzles are an important and vital part of the Guild Wars 2 experience, and by hurling your fragile body from ridiculously high places you can reap amazing rewards! Pitch your delicate bone-filled body headfirst from the nearest terrifyingly tall object and find out if it was indeed a Jumping Puzzle or just a regular old cliff. Also be on the lookout for diving platforms, which remove all your clothes so that when you are obliterated after plunging like a naked, screaming meteor into a heap of boulders, you will not ruin your outfit.

Good luck!

Yours in Friendship,

The Honorable
Orbital Butt
Captain, USS “Psychic Sasquatch”

Dearest OP,

As a Necromancer, you may sometimes be overcome with the urge to animate any number of dead things in order to re-enact well known Seinfeld bits. I understand, we all do sometimes. However, “Newman’s” family would very much like to bury Grandpa and not have him living a horrible unlife as an obese mailman in an unholy marionette show. Please return him to his grave or nearest available shallow ditch. Time is something of a factor here. Thank you in advance for your compliance in this delicate matter.

Sincerely,
Orbital Butt
Office of Necromantic Affairs

Welcome to Guild Wars 2. Charr are big cats with devil horns, not wolf men. Feel free to send me gifts and other tokens of appreciation for this vital gameplay advice I have bestowed. I accept PayPal

Sincerely yours,
Orbital Butt
Wise and Humble Advisor to All

Cherish every hate tell. Feed off them like a vampire feeds on blood. Roll in them like a dog in stink, they are all priceless gifts because your Good Playing has somehow trolled a person into insanity. HOW DARE YOU PERFORM CAPABLY AT THIS TASK RAARRRRRGH