Guild Wars 2

My human Ranger,

“That looks valuable!”

NO IT’S NOT, IT’S JUNK, STOP SAYING THAT!!!!

Dondarrion.2748:

“Splish splash. Four Norns in a bath.”

My most favorite skill point area to roleplay chill at. Hot springs in the still serene winter. Only the crackle of woods in the distance by roaming deer. Paradise to me.

StinVec.3621:

Unkemptwolf.6347:

Random NPC in Lions Arch: “By Ogden’s Hammer, what savings!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgv7U3GYlDY

I laughed so hard when I first heard that NPC say that. I then quit the game and watched Galaxy Quest again.

OMG ty for making my night i laughed so hard i cried a bit.

In the Grove, two Sylvari females experimenting with cooking.

“It tingles!” (laughs) “It’s the mint that makes it tingle!”

Fun post i must say as many lines do get stuck in my head. Most posted ones i thought of here i add.

AC is not the only one that has broken dialog, so does HoTW. “What wha what is dis. What tis thiss what what is this MY OWN FLESH!” -Angry dungeon kodan

“I see you with bloody weapons but i dont feel your rage. I dont see you hungy for more battle” …. “i killed 10 kodans and im not even tired” …. “weakling” …. “ive killed mothers and fathers!, Now i hunt their children!” …. “ha thats the spirit…” O_O – conversation of hotw boss and mob.

“HELP that so called farmer just hit me in the face!” Queensdale npc during water pipe event.

“Struggle and fail!” Arah gate boss

“You look tough, lets wrestle” norn boy

“Your hair is pretty” norn girl

“Im rich you know” – dashing lord feren.

“Watch the ledges” – claw of jormag NPC

“Rely on steel, not false gods”- iron legion

CoE NPC dies “dont let the enemy see me bleed”… gurl you are dead.

“If i get another farmer selling me rotten vegetables ill scream. Got any spearheads? i got a quaggan thats begging for them” 20 gold for centuar spearheads gasp “20?!? Yesterday they were 10” today 20. – Traders
At the TP

>-Things characters say
“Fire burns!”
“Going hypothermic!”
“My strength INCREASES!”
“Barglhfhggh SUCH MIGHT!”
…and other male norn grunts lol with greatsword
“Wooo, ha, wuuu” human female jumping

I said “how Interesting” before i heard how asurans said it, IRL same way.

I say again BY OGDENS HAMMER, what savings.

My Ranger. “I make a pretty good team”.

“No one’s arguing the need for a plan… it’s just you plan is stupid and won’t work.”

“Bear approves of you. I can feel her little tail wagging in my heart.”

StinVec.3621:

Unkemptwolf.6347:

Random NPC in Lions Arch: “By Ogden’s Hammer, what savings!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgv7U3GYlDY

I laughed so hard when I first heard that NPC say that. I then quit the game and watched Galaxy Quest again.

You might enjoy this

“Rally to me Ascalonian! "
and
“You are not real, you can’t be here!” during loading screen

My friend and I always find the human female line about “I could outrun a centaur!” annoying because it’s sent-awr, not sent-ar. They say it so frequently that it’s become a bit of a thing. That and when your personal story leads you to Kessex Hills and the Quay there, that they pronounce “kway”. Yikes.

Actually, in that Quay there’s an event where Krait show up and start grabbing folks, and someone yells out in the most excruciating voice ever “You’ll never catch them if they reach the water!”. It seems anytime I’m near that Quay, that event is on, and that I am subjected to the atrocity of their voice.

Horrik! Unleash the cannons!

“Little ants, little ants. Running for your lives.” – Scarlet Briar

Citizens!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvnQdvUz9gk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyg_Vjw1xaQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnbuOTXFkL0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ernhMf9-YA&feature=youtu.be

“Not now. NOT NOTNOTNOTN-N-N-N-NOT-N-NOT-NOTNOW-NOTNOW-NONONOTNOTNOTN-N-N-NOT-N-NN-N-NOTNOWNOTNOW-N-N-N-NOT-NOT-NOTNOT-NN-N-N-NOTNOW”
-players spamming F key on a Charr NPC in Black Citadel around gate to Diessa Plateau.

PCanineBrigade.4916:

“Not now. NOT NOTNOTNOTN-N-N-N-NOT-N-NOT-NOTNOW-NOTNOW-NONONOTNOTNOTN-N-N-NOT-N-NN-N-NOTNOWNOTNOW-N-N-N-NOT-NOT-NOTNOT-NN-N-N-NOTNOW”
-players spamming F key on a Charr NPC in Black Citadel around gate to Diessa Plateau.

One does not simply spam their F key on a Charr NPC in Black Citadel around the gate to Diessa Plateau.

Couldn’t help myself.
:P

this was a pretty funny converstaion from the zephyr sanctum.
Conversation between a charr and a Zephyrite
Zephyrite: Hi. Are you a charr?
Charr Stranger: Yep. Sure am.
Zephyrite: I’ve never seen one before. The stories all say charr are super scary, but I don’t think you’re scary.
Charr Stranger: Excuse me? I’m plenty scary!
Zephyrite: I dunno. I think you’re beautiful. Your fur is pretty great!
Charr Stranger: I am not beautiful! Though, my fur is pretty great, isn’t it? (chuckle) See ya ‘round, cub.

You break it, I break you

Not sure if people remember this, but this always cracked me up in front of LA’s BLTC.

Today, 20.

Greatness! I am becoming greatness!

By the power of me!

All of these:

Asura A: I need someone with a brilliant mind to assist me in my new project.
Asura B: What am I, chopped raptor?
Asura A: I wonder if Zojja is available. She has just the expertise I require.

Woman A: Have you seen my husband?
Woman B: You don’t wanna know.
Woman A: Drunk again. Great.

Citizen A: What does a sylvari think about?
Citizen B: I’d say no matter what the subject, they are astonished and contemplative, wondering and wild.
Citizen A: I was going to make a bad salad joke, but now I don’t feel like it.

Plus of course asura females:
“You’re dumb, you’ll die, and you’ll leave a dumb corpse.”

Trahearne: Fire!!

It’s delivered SO BADLY even for Trahearne that it’s my favorite.

Dunno if anybody’s mentioned this before but huge props to whoever voiced the male centaur that shouts:

“YOU WIIILL BE BROOOOKEN”

One of the only enemy threats that feels serious, and seriously threatening.

Linnael.1069:

Dunno if anybody’s mentioned this before but huge props to whoever voiced the male centaur that shouts:

“YOU WIIILL BE BROOOOKEN”

One of the only enemy threats that feels serious, and seriously threatening.

It becomes less serious when you kill them by the dozens though lol. Whoever voiced it did great though.

You know, I am still waiting for something of a battlecry which just hits me the right way like only two lines:

Minsc: “Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!”

Jaheera: “To battle!”

Charr from the Norn personal story about their chugger – “…It’s Iron Legion, not Asuran crystal magic rainbow trash…”

Actually that whole storyline is hilarious. “Have at you, leafy!” “Jormag eats dung.”

-“You can’t trust sylvari, they belong to the dragon now”
- Most of the ones from camp chef gristlemane in camp resolve I find funny, “Shut your mouth, or I’ll jam a ladel in it!” Is the best.
-“That’s the second ugliest thing I’ve ever seen” from CoE explorable

The Asuran portal tech in Hoelbrak entering a log about adjusting the retro-encabulator. It references one of the funniest bits of technobabble ever made.

“Keep running, you idiot” (CoF p1)

The quaggan skill point (in gendarran field iirc)
Me: “your father was a krait!”
Quaggan:“argggghhhh!! Quaggan is mad! Quaggan is foo-furious! Quaggan kicks your tail so hard it slaps you in the face!”

Or something like that… i think i maybe wrote it incorrectly, but whatever..
That one made me lol irl too XD

“I can outrun a centaur!” (Because it has to be here)

“This rose has thorns, and here they are!” (You know it!)

“These things should come with a warranty.” (Asura when Minion dies)

“Now they’ll feel my Turbulence!” (Asura on Air attunement)

“How many ales have I had?” (Norn on Confusion)

“Urge to Kill… Rising!” (Human on gaining Fury)

“Executing Escape Plan!” (Asura on Fear)

And here are some quotes from Lord Faren:

“If you scoundrels bleed on my fine apparel, I am sending you The Cleaning Bill!”

Lord Faren: “The rest think it’s bad form to have a dragon festival in the middle of a dragon war.”
Lady Kasmeer Meade: “I understand it’s a delicate subject, but isn’t the council always at each other’s throats?”
Lord Faren:“Only when they’re not trying to stick knives in each other’s backs.”

And from Canach (And Anise, the snark is real with these two):

Countess Anise: True, you are only one among her thousands of children. Not as dear as her firstborn, like our heroic Pact Marshal.
Canach: It may be wiser to focus such commentary on someone without a violent criminal history, Countess.

Canach: Do you treat everyone you encounter like children?
Countess Anise: (laugh) You are a delicate flower, aren’t you? So easily bruised…
Canach: I have a thick skin. I also learn from my missteps. For example, you fooled me once with your illusions, so now I wonder if you’re truly as young as–
Countess Anise: Do not finish that sentence. Not here, not ever.
Canach: At least, a substantial response.

Oh there’s the town crier in DR:
“I… Enjoy pie.”

And female human, sometimes before battle:
“THIS will be fun…”

“More come! Yes?”

“Do you have a plan to get us out of here?”
“Sort of, it starts with run for it and goes downhill from there.”

Going to go with a more “feels” favorite, and that is the interaction between the Norn bodyguard and the asura child in Almuten Estates.

Miss Mipp: “Psst. Tholaun. Can I tell you a secret?”
Tholaun: “You can tell me anything.”
Miss Mipp: “I was really scared, Tholaun. I tried to be a brave norn, but those pirates were mean!”
Tholaun: “It’s okay. You didn’t cry. I’m proud of you.”
Miss Mipp: “Can I cry now?”
Tholaun: “If you insist.”

Random Charr in Fort Trinity (Not exact, as I can’t remember the exact words, but you’ll get the idea): Find the biggest gun you can get, and when you’re not firing, you can take cover behind it.

Curo.2483:

Champion Modniir Ulgoth: Tell me, hummingbirds, how does one fight the wind?

And I always reply to myself “By breaking it!”

-

And my favorite quote of all: “TAKE HEED! I HAVEN’T TAKEN LEAVE OF MY SENSES!”

…oh wait, no. I hate that character now, and because of her, Hoelbrak as well. It’s like she watches me slink toward the leatherworking station, hugging the wall to avoid her, but like the clueless gal at a drunken college party, she just doesn’t get it.

Celtic Lady.3729:

Charr from the Norn personal story about their chugger – “…It’s Iron Legion, not Asuran crystal magic rainbow trash…”

Actually that whole storyline is hilarious. “Have at you, leafy!” “Jormag eats dung.”

“I remember that, stupid tree.”

Loved that storyline

Freeth in Fireheart Rise there is a random chest near Rustbowl Waypoint (between the two hill areas to the southeast) that when you open you get jumped by a Charr, when you beat him he yells the following:

Freeth: points “Hey, what’s that over there?”
Freeth: running in stealth “Enjoy my hairy charr backside!”

That last line combined with the stealth running made me laugh for about 5 minutes when I randomly came across it.

I love when my little Asura exclaims " I major in pain, with a minor in suffering"

I’ve come across some great NPC dialog, I just can’t remember them right now.

Wolfborn out of nowhere in the Might and Main:
“You, listen to what I have to say. This will not do!
Bah, I’m done with this.”

“Rawr” =3 – Male Charr player character.

“This won’t end well”

I can outrun a centaur! (x100)
Queensdale/Divinity’s Reach during the the beta.

I also like the grave stone which has “…thought he could outrun a centaur.” Written on it. I couldn’t remember the first half.

At the Asura progeny school in Metrica Province.

Moments after all the progeny have been turned into mini fire elementals, shrunken into mosquitos, or chased off by an accidentally summoned stampeding dolyak, go speak to the instructor with an Asura character.

“Nice to see nothing has changed since my time here.”

Chip, chip, chipping the rock away, chipping all night and day!

That’s what I always hum to myself when I work now.

Female sylvari playing Belcher’s Bluff.

“I’m a little turret short and stout. Here is my ammo, here is my snout. "

I giggle every time I hear her slur her words.

The part of the “Setting the Stage” PS, when you enter the instance and see 3 children talking – human, assura and charr. I always stop and listen to them with a big smile on my face. It sounds so real, it’s obviously written by someone who has watched children roleplaying. Here is a part of the dialog.

Child:This is it! I’m Eir Stegalkin, and I’m going to lead Destiny’s Edge to victory!
Progeny: Raarr! I’m the Crystal Dragon, and I’m going to make you all crunchy!
Cub: I’m Logan, and I’m going to run away. (He’s a little troll isn’t he?)
Child: Hey, that’s not fair. Logan didn’t run away, he went to save the queen.
Cub: That’s running away. His guild needed him. Rytlock wouldn’t have run away.
Progeny: Why don’t you be Rytlock, then?
Cub: Okay, I will. I’m Rytlock Brimstone, you harpy-sniffing dragon. Feel the wrath of my flaming sword!
Child: If he gets to change, I want to change, too. I’m Caithe now.
Progeny: Then I’m Zojja. Your leadership stinks like a skritt cesspool, Eir! You’re the reason we failed.
Child: You can’t be Zojja, you’re the dragon. And I’m not Eir anymore, I’m Caithe.
Child: And Caithe says, “Focus on the dragon, morons.”
Cub: Charr tribunes don’t take orders from kindling. Follow me, everybody! Except you, Logan. You can run back to your girlfriend.

My Norn Guardian:
""Aaaahhh, fire burns""
Also his very girly screams whenever I use a diving point cracks me up every time.

Oh and one of the funniest interactions I can remember is between the Mad King and his son. Too funny XD

1. Mad King Thorn: I forgot how much your little tantrums bored me, Eddie.
Bloody Prince Thorn: It’s Edrick! Edrick the Bloody! Let’s see how bored you’ll be when I tear you limb from limb, you maniac.
Mad King Thorn: Ooh, getting all emotional, I see. Why don’t you run home to momma and cry.
Bloody Prince Thorn: I can’t. You beheaded her.
Mad King Thorn: Best birthday ever. What about your stepmother, Estrella?
Bloody Prince Thorn: You put her in a coffin filled with rats and bumped it into the sea! Henrietta was the only one who was kind to me, and you killed her, too.
Mad King Thorn: No, my massacring little moppet. That was you. (laugh) You decided to play Pin the Tail on the Drake with her.
Mad King Thorn: Of course, you literally nailed her hands to the drake. (laugh)
Bloody Prince Thorn: You…stop. Stop laughing! I…I did that? I remember the hammer. All that blood.
Mad King Thorn: Oh, you never liked her. And she bored me. Besides, I was proud of you for that.
Bloody Prince Thorn: Really?
Mad King Thorn: No. You’ve always been a major disappointment.

2. Bloody Prince Thorn: How dare you. You struck my name from history!
Mad King Thorn: I would have given it back to you the moment you learned your lesson.
Bloody Prince Thorn: But I died in that box.
Mad King Thorn: What can I say? You were always a slow learner.

3. Bloody Prince Thorn: I will draw out your death, Father. I learned things in that box. Starvation is a slow, agonizing death.
Mad King Thorn: Oh, you’re still whining about that. I gave you food.
Bloody Prince Thorn: You locked me in there with a mouth full of candy corn! That’s not food. That’s…your idea of a joke.
Mad King Thorn: Oh, look. The starving boy is being picky. You always were a whiner.
Bloody Prince Thorn: I don’t see why you’re so shocked. Your subjects butchered you. You should be used to uprisings.
Bloody Prince Thorn: After all, you killed your father. It’s time history repeated itself.
Mad King Thorn: So your plan here is poetic irony? Ooh, I’m so scared. Bloody Prince Thorn. (laughs)

Valgar.9576:

My Norn Guardian:
""Aaaahhh, fire burns""
Also his very girly screams whenever I use a diving point cracks me up every time.

A shame he won’t scream ever again. It was deemed to unfitting for our heroic chars.

Pretty sure it was mentioned, but one of my faves is the the Guardian’s “i make a pretty good team” whenever you use one of your own finishers in a field you’ve made.

Everything Dinky says is hilarious.

“Killing’s like weapons practice. But with a surprise inside!”
“Once, on a dare, I swallowed a thumbtack. I think it’s still in there.”
“Flame Legion hates females. I used to too – when I was five.”