Guild Wars 2

This is probably the wrong place to suggest this, but maybe the cdi section should go?All the topics are written off and locked.

JayMack.8295:

All the Guardians joined hands and created a bubble sanctuary keeping the mordrem out infused with Mesmer feedback magic. Our PC survived ‘cause we’re just that awesome.

I agree with everything but that last part. We survived not because we were awesome. It’s because…

because…

BECAUSE WE’RE BATMAN!

So… Uh… Do airship cannons and explosions have friendly fire mode on or something? How exactly did that Michael Bay scene cause everyone but the Mordrem to die, yet leave everyone else alive and intact? I’m pretty sure in the original campaign there were scenes where npcs were killed by friendly fire… If there was one more part of that battle, say everyone were to “Alamo” into the armory hanger before the bombs fell, that would make better sense…

lordkrall.7241:

Because they are not part of the Pact and as such calling us Commander would be a bit weird and make no sense? ^^

Sorry if I’m using Mass Effect for a counter example, but the guys he/she recruited weren’t technically all alliance military, yet they still called him/she commander by friend or subordinate. Besides, I bet even if you weren’t in the respected organization, I’m sure you’d still call them by their title in respect. For example, I’d still call someone Doctor, Commander, or Lieutenant in respect to their position even if I knew their name. I guess Boss could work if only one or two of the companions used it, it would display their personality. But when all of them use it, it just sounds awkward and forced.

Just my personal perspective, but the living world is after Zhaitan’s defeat, therefore we should be firmly established as Commander of the Pact. So why doesn’t Destiny Edge 2.0 just call us Commander instead of “friend” or “boss”? Sounds awkward and unnatural at certain times, that’s all I’m saying.

Some of the quests are also brilliantly connected. There was this one quest where your escorting this pirate captain and he tells his men to dump these barrels of beer on the ground…. Then later on, a totally different escort mission, which started in a different area comes along and goes, “Hey look some one dropped some beer!”

And I was like… “Wait a minute… Isn’t that…? Didn’t I just…?Holy shi—!”

So I’m still working on my fanfic and there’s this one situation I’m stuck on: Let’s say a high ranking court member, who nobody but his closest subordinates particularity liked, tried to personally abduct someone but ended up getting killed instead along with his subordinates. Now, would the other nightmare court members go after the person who killed this high ranking member, or rather let it slide since they didn’t like him to begin with?

Ah yes… Reapers. V(-_-)V

Maybe the in-game mailbox letters should have a unique icon or color that indicate official messages from anet? That way you could tell the difference.

Zoltreez.6435:

AVM.5746:

Zoltreez… Just log in and see for yourself, there is no subscription after all. If you don’t like what you see, then log out and deinstall. Half of these negative comments are either invalid or questionable.

thats not how it works for me.

i want to see OVERALL what the playerbase thinks of the game atm.
trying to get into another mmo but i dont want my time go in waste in a game where devs just give it up and slowly goes into maintance mode.

thats why im asking what the Playerbase thinks about it to see where its heading.

I personally think that plan is flawed, but whatever you want. If you want my opinion, they are certainly not going into maintenance mode since a new story mode and areas have opened up (and more will open with the new living story chapters this month). There are new skills and traits, though now you gotta earn them through activities or purchase them with in-game currency. The pvp can earn you gear and transmutation charges based on a progression system rather than points. Legendary items can be changed to any stat type and are 5% stronger than exotics. There is legendary armor and crafting now. Any item you soulbound or degrade gets stored in a wardrobe database, so you can transmute any gear you have to those appearances (So you can actually look whatever you want and not be hindered by stat restrictions…. I’m looking at you Destiny!!!). Dungeons give you gold. The tequatle fight is harder and more group coordinated. The megaserver consolidates all players, so more world events and bosses are being cleared. Your daily login progression gets saved. Lions arch has been literally been screwed up…

And the list goes on and on… I really doubt they’ve been going maintenance mode this entire year. Like I said, ya gotta see for yourself. Getting the opinion only on those who reply to your topic won’t get you the full story, and you have no idea if they’re just feeding you outdated or biased info.

Zoltreez… Just log in and see for yourself, there is no subscription after all. If you don’t like what you see, then log out and deinstall. Half of these negative comments are either invalid or questionable.

Run and swim. That’s pretty much what we’ve been doing the last few years. I propose we open up the game world to new heights… Literally. I would simply love to explore tyria by air. As we have our own skill sets on land and water, we can have new ones based on air combat and exploration. To make it plausible, as we have breathers to go underwater, perhaps have jet packs? Even though it may not be ideal to fly every time, I think we should have at least certain zones where flight combat and exploration take place. Just picture it: Castles in the sky, dog fight against flying dragon minions, obstacle courses.. The sky is the limit.

Shut up and take my money!

(Buy 5 vendor items)

Those cheapskates gotta hire an artist…

C-C-C-COMBO MAKER!!

(Create 20 spell combos)

When Sylvari refer to their “hair,” do they call it “hair,” “petals,” or something else? Cause I’m still working on this fanfic I’m making and there’s this scene where this little kid innocently plucks a leaf off this one Sylvari chick’s head and she freaks out…

I’m not going to say anything bad about that game…, but man… After playing that for 3 weeks, I found myself coming back here and never looking back. That game really made me appreciate GW2 better than before: Activities and radiant events everywhere you go, new content every two weeks, a transmutation system that allows custom appearances, different storylines, login rewards…

And to top it off, a forum where many members of the development team (not just the PR guy) engage with the players with a professional, yet down-to-earth attitude. Seriously ANET, thank you for making such a fun and interactive world (and with the living story, I know it’ll be going for a long time).

Sweet! Does it bend?

I’d think it would be interesting to see a dungeon where you go back in time and help out some of the old GW1 companions. Say, defending a village from arising Titans and being aided by Mhenlo, Cynna and/or Devona?

TheBlackLeech.9360:

AVM.5746:

That’s probably my only gripe. Take the salvaging for instance: you actually have to salvage in certain areas now instead of any node in tyria. I don’t know if that was any kind of improvement considering that it places an additional restriction on how a player wants to roam. For instance, when I’d do a dungeon run or event boss in the past I’d suddenly achieve dailies without realizing I was doing them. Now, with the additional requirements, it becomes more like a separate chore and doesn’t blend well with the activities I planned on doing.

I would recommend posting in one of the existing threads on the issue.

I thought about that but I felt it would get, you know, “buried.”

That’s probably my only gripe. Take the salvaging for instance: you actually have to salvage in certain areas now instead of any node in tyria. I don’t know if that was any kind of improvement considering that it places an additional restriction on how a player wants to roam. For instance, when I’d do a dungeon run or event boss in the past I’d suddenly achieve dailies without realizing I was doing them. Now, with the additional requirements, it becomes more like a separate chore and doesn’t blend well with the activities I planned on doing.

Are there any horses in Tyria? If not, what would their equivalent mounts be? Also, in comparison to our progress in medicine, what era is there level of medical care? I mean I’m sure magic may have brought new possibilities, but I’m not sure if they have methods to check your glucose level, pro-time or produce antibiotics for instance…

I ask this cause I’m making a rather lengthy fanfic and one of them is a doctor that doesn’t rely on magic.

On the 18th… I don’t know whether to yell in joy or scream in agony…

Was I the only one who thinks this should have been an achievement at the end of the first mission? I was so hoping Caithe or Canach was going to say that.

Weed Whackers
…They’ve whacked 2 corrupted Sylvari and now a jungle dragon.

At least make 100 gem increments. Not all of us want to “bundle.” Some of us just want to buy 1 lion guard key once in awhile.

Also, WARN US ANET before you roll stuff like this out! Seriously you all thought we’d all like to switch to the bundle plan? Who thought this was a good idea? Were they a former centurylink agent?

Sigh…

I can’t help but be pessimistic on what happens in the far future when all the Dragons may actually be killed. I like how this game expresses unity, how everyone is joining up to defeat a common enemy.

I mean sure, there might be a few centuries of peace if all the elder dragons were defeated. But that would also mean that magic will now be too abundant and the lands would all be accessible. On top of that, time has a way of making people forget about the pain and suffering allies have shared amongst another. Eventually, someone or a group of ignorant people, whatever race, will do something stupid, that spreads out and affects other people. Then, everyone eventually fights amongst each other for resources or some other dumb reason.

I may be over thinking things, but I sometimes think the Dragons are not actually the core problem of Tyria.

Vayne.8563:

AVM.5746:

Vayne.8563:

You forget the spam filter. Say the same thing a couple of times in a row and you’re locked out of chat anyway.

That’s why i mentioned “variation of the text” with a timed interval. The workaround for that is to simply add something to the phrase like, like an extra letter or number. Like say this:

“SELLING GOLD@”
“SELLING GOLD2”
“SELLING GOLD-”

And to loop those phrases at set interval, say every 10 to 15 seconds. The spam filter may not register it.

It does. It picks up stuff even if you change it slightly. I’ve changed what I’ve said during events, like when the turrets came up at boom boom and still got caught in the net.

Hmmmmm… If that’s so. Maybe there really isn’t anything to worry about then.

Vayne.8563:

You forget the spam filter. Say the same thing a couple of times in a row and you’re locked out of chat anyway.

That’s why i mentioned “variation of the text” with a timed interval. The workaround for that is to simply add something to the phrase like, like an extra letter or number. Like say this:

“SELLING GOLD@”
“SELLING GOLD2”
“SELLING GOLD-”

And to delay the time between those phrases (say every 10 to 15 seconds). The spam filter may not register it.

ShadowDragoonFTW.3418:

AVM.5746:

Good to know they’re doing something about it this time. But, I’m no Dev, but I think I see one work-around they could do. They could put one trial character in a small, yet populated area (like the divinity reach bank), and simply loop their normal chat in CAPS at certain intervals with slight variation in the text.

Aaaaaaand that’s what the report feature is for! At least it won’t be obnoxious as balls.

And even if we report them, couldn’t they just make another account and character? Like what they always do? But yeah, I agree with ya, at least it won’t be as obnoxious and reduced.

Good to know they’re doing something about it this time. But, I’m no Dev, but I think I see one work-around they could do. They could put one trial character in a small, yet populated area (like the divinity reach bank), and simply loop their normal chat in CAPS at certain intervals with slight variation in the text.

Hannelore.8153:

You should read the dev posts on this forum. Trial accounts have already been locked out from messaging anyone who does not friend them first …

They’ll find a way around it. I just have this feeling…

PREPARE YOURSELVES! (or your “ignore” feature)

A huge wave of gold selling bots are approaching!!!

When doing events, especially bounties, it can be a little hard to coordinate where everyone is spread on the map. Right now, a person can at most see their 4 party members on the map and commanders. Why don’t we have a toggable cursor that let’s you see where your guild members are on the mini and world map?

Ragnarok Online, which was probably the top online game back in around 2000 (at least i thought it was) had a system where your guild members were seen as a pink triangle. It was really useful to see where everyone was, especially when we were hunting a Boss on a large map or raiding a castle.

If we had this system, there wouldn’t be unnecessary backtracking in an area. On top of that, it was nice having the experience of seeing your fellow guild members on a map and wanting to help them out on what their currently doing.

HOLY CRAP! How the heck did I not notice the dye drops were nonexistent now? I remember them dropping like crazy when leveling a new character…

Vayne.8563:

AVM.5746:

Inculpatus cedo.9234:

Yep, they sure did say that in that blog post. And said they were going to be taking breaks from that cadence in another blog post.

Still, what has that to do with announcement delivery cadence? I just don’t see the connection. If you are saying that because they deliver announcements more often than once every two weeks sometimes, they are breaking their ‘promise’, I would think the weeks with neither announcement nor content/feature delivery broke that way back when they announced they were going to take breaks. /shrug

Let me try to chop it in pieces to show you what I mean. Please forgive me if my tone offends anyone…
What I find strange was the previously locked info (some still locked) within this page:

https://www.guildwars2.com/en/the-game/releases/feature-packs/

My question is: Why lock it and release it through out 14 days?
And my guess is, this locked page is our current new content (or better yet, our EVENT) between the gap of “The Dragon’s Reach part2” and the September feature patch in order to keep us coming here.

And I find that kinda cheap and peculiar, cause, ya know, I was expecting game content. Not blog posts.

See, the problem here is you think everyone thinks like you. Some people like getting stuff in bits that isn’t out yet…being teased in other words.

It’s not like that patch is out till September 9. You can’t play it. So Anet is going to talk about it in the way that gets them the best bang for the buck.

If it annoys you, you don’t even have to look at it until it’s all up and then you can read it all once, but these aren’t patch notes.

There are very good business reasons to release things in sections (and frankly this time I think Anet has overdone it. It might have been better to have one release a week with all the stuff for that week in it.

But businesses thrive on publicity and by announcing something every day, every one of the MMO websites out there is going to cover it every day.

They’re going to say this is new in Guild Wars 2, that is new in Guild Wars 2 and like it or not, advertising is good for the game. That is to say, more people will see the name on other sites every day for a period of time, which is what advertising is about…repetition.

To players of the game, the information changes nothing. The patch and patch notes will be here on September 9. But the amount of free publicity they get by announcing this way is gold.

Why wouldn’t they do it?

You sir have hit the mark. And I think your right, I gotta remind myself everyone doesn’t think like me (Some one once told me I have a practical sense of mind).
Can’t get a movie noticed without previews and trailers I guess. I just hope they don’t do this same stunt a 3rd time.
…But who am I kidding? As your say, it’s gold.

Inculpatus cedo.9234:

Yep, they sure did say that in that blog post. And said they were going to be taking breaks from that cadence in another blog post.

Still, what has that to do with announcement delivery cadence? I just don’t see the connection. If you are saying that because they deliver announcements more often than once every two weeks sometimes, they are breaking their ‘promise’, I would think the weeks with neither announcement nor content/feature delivery broke that way back when they announced they were going to take breaks. /shrug

Let me try to chop it in pieces to show you what I mean. Please forgive me if my tone offends anyone…
What I find strange was the previously locked info (some still locked) within this page:

https://www.guildwars2.com/en/the-game/releases/feature-packs/

My question is: Why lock it and release it through out 14 days?
And my guess is, this locked page is our current new content (or better yet, our EVENT) between the gap of “The Dragon’s Reach part2” and the September feature patch in order to keep us coming here.

And I find that kinda cheap and peculiar, cause, ya know, I was expecting game content. Not blog posts.

Inculpatus cedo.9234:

thomdane.3670:

Actually, all their adds feature the words on the “such and such and 12 other friends like this” on Facebook, but here is an article as well:
http://www.gamesradar.com/guild-wars-2-ramps-new-content-every-two-weeks/

And another:
http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/938738-guild-wars-2/67575636

I’m perfectly content with the game, but the OP is correct in their statement : )

Not sure where in either of those links Devs said anything about a promise of a 2-week content delivery system. The article talks about it, but the quotes from Chris don’t say anything specific, really. The second link doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Devs, unless it’s on some other page, or something.

And still, what has that to do with announcements on blogs? It seems the OP is concerned about time interval with the release of information, and using a ‘promise’ of two-week content delivery to demonstrate some kind of broken promise.

https://www.guildwars2.com/en/news/living-world-in-guild-wars-2/

This is from their own news page, July 2 2013, scroll down and you’ll see the quote and explanation…

Regardless, though, everyone, please don’t get the wrong idea. I didn’t expect a promise like this to actually be kept or have a MAJOR event every two weeks. It’s pretty unrealistic. Thing is, what I don’t like ANET doing is “hiding” their hiatus behind a “locked-info” list of their next major patch.
That’s just stupid.
I"d rather have them release the entire info in one shot, be honest and say something like, “We need a two-week break to double check the upcoming patch. However, here’s a list of the updates and a few examples that we think will enhance the game further in the future. We hope you like it.”

I would’ve been happy with that, they deserve a break. They’ve done a phenomenal job in releasing all this content for the past year, and introducing a Living story system I’ve never seen any MMORPG do. But did they have to lock the info and release them staggered within two weeks to keep us coming here in the next 14 days after "The Shadow Falls? Like I mentioned, that seems peculiar.

I know ANET promised new content every two-weeks… But does it really count when they get take a list of info, lock it, then release the info consecutively within 2 weeks? I mean the purpose of the new content every two weeks was to get me c’mon back to the game at a regular basis… But really? Locked info? I remember the first time they did this with the major patch that changed the traits and skin system, so I let it go at the time… Now they do it again I just can’t help but say it seems silly I’m going with this considering I KNOW they could just release all that info in one shot.

Listen, I"m not trying to offend ANET in anyway, but c’mon ANET that just seems like a cheap thing to do. I liked coming to this game because there was always something new to DO in Guild Wars 2 rather than READ about. New quests, events with rewards (like Dragon Bash, that was awesome), or maybe just a new simple mini-game that was added.

Also, people might say the the black lion market sale may count as the event, but I don’t think it keeps things interesting, especially if you consider that the gold to gem conversion is 4x as much as it was a little over 1 year ago (goes even higher during a sale like this.} This only benefits people who pay real money… Which makes this situation to me even more peculiar.

Just wondering if anyone called them out on it…

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF TYRIA!!!

ZHAITAN VS ALDUIN!

BEGIN!

=Zhaitan=
Hello little runt.
Should I give you a punt?
You done with your annex?
Or your little daddy com-plex?
You’re a dragon like me, but I’ll smack you all the same.
Make you my kitten. Even if you’re not in my game.
Don’t worry Aldy, I like them tiny.
So come on here closer.
I’ll show my shinies….

=Alduin=
GUH MAY BAH
That means “FOOK YO JAW”
Think you better cause your bigger?
You don’t match your promo picture!
I’ll beat ya with shouts,
Before you know what’s about.
You call those dragon heads?
VAH!!
I call those hentai tentacles in your mouth….

=Zhaitan=
Your armies were traitors and haters.
You a faker!
Hell, you get your power by eating racist Schwarzeneggers!

It took nations to stop me.
Magic and Iron clad.
For you?
Just a little shouting kitten from Alcatraz!!

I’m the drake of undead!
Nothing else need said!
Ya too busy getting your loser kittenes outta bed!
I’m the boss of hysteria!
kitten I’ll eat your materia!
Don’t you be messin with the felon who’ll be raisin’ hell in Tyria!

-Alduin=
…You’re kidding right?
You freakin suck when you fight.
ANET said you had might, but you didn’t even bite!
You call me tiny? And everyone petty?
DOV…
You got yourself owned by glowing confetti…

You had your butt blown off, and grabbed a tower like a fly.
Then had everyone gangbang ya like it was the Fourth of July.
Seriously.
Who made your AI and battle design?
I’ve seen more epic fights in the GROCERY LINE!!

This battle’s now over, but I’ll skip round two.
SHAH VAH DAH GUH.
That mean’s your not worth it foo’.
But if you want me to kill you, then there’s not much to do.
I’d just get on a cannon.
…And spam number 2.

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!!

This was for you Zhaitan battle designer!

With love,
Krisis1451

Instead of making the plot-device crown. I think it would’ve made more sense if someone found a hidden descendant of Rurik (Rurik had a fling with one of the Ascalon refugees during GW1.) Then the mission would be haul their butt to Ascalon, take the sword and end the curse. Then of course things wouldn’t go smoothly…

Ashandar.2570:

AVM.5746:

The ship that shot down Zhaitan:
Who made this giant ship that conveniently saved us in midair? Better yet, why weren’t we on it in the beginning of that mission? Why wasn’t I notified we had this superweapon in the first place?! I was commander of the pact!!

The pact made it. When wrapping up the final mission before Arah story, two pact members that you pass in fort Trinity argue about that ship:
After returning to Fort Trinity
While passing through the fort:
Pact Mechanic: No, no, no. I told you, it’s not ready!
Pact Mechanic: But…the “Glory of Tyria” is our flagship! It should be in the fight against Zhaitan! It-
Pact Mechanic: -isn’t FINISHED yet! By the Bear, do you want it to sink like a stone in its first battle?
Pact Mechanic: Your problem. You better hope we win without it, because we may not get another chance.

Thank you! That relieves me of one thing that bugged me in the story line (though I’d personally would’ve like to have known we had that thing to begin with and be personally informed our superweapon with anti-dragon weapons isn’t operational yet, being the Pact Commander and all). How bout everything else?

Yeah, I feel it’s some developed plot device to get the possibility that a Charr can undo the curse. Seriously, his crown? What story writer makes up all these plot devices? Speaking of plot devices, why don’t we name a few?

The blue orb
It blocks all undead. Don’t ask where it came from, even though it changed the tide of the war. Did Bubbles make this thing? What are we doing with the orb right now?

The ship that shot down Zhaitan:
Who made this giant ship that conveniently saved us in midair? Better yet, why weren’t we on it in the beginning of that mission? Why wasn’t I notified we had this superweapon in the first place?! I was commander of the pact!!

Can’t release anchor, cannot set off:
This one get’s me all the time, especially since i own a boat. So you can’t release the airship because you have one anchor setting? So Logan has to stay behind and cut it off? …Why the heck just cut it off from the ship!? I know you can cut it off. I saw Logan do it from ground with his sword! You’re telling me this big ship can’t leave because of that one anchor? Better yet, what idiot designed the ship where you can’t cut the anchor while onboard? Was this suppose to establish how Logan is repenting for ditching them, or showing how Rytlock still cared about him? What’s the point of him looking like he died when he comes back without a scratch anyway?

Knowing Mordremoth
How exactly did my player character know Mordremoth? Especially his name, it’s not common like “David”. I mean, we as fans knew of the name, but I don’t think my player character can break the 4th wall and ask us about it. People said, “We read it in that book we fought to get in the story mission.” I played that mission 5 times, I don’t recall them translating it and having it read to us. Actually, I don’t recall the name even popping up anywhere in the lore.

Dinky as Warband leader
WHO THE CRAP WOULD CHOOSE DINKY AS WARBAND LEADER!?!
“Whenever I plan, I fall asleep.”
NUFF SAID!

Pretty much a large majority in that forum section are “advertisements” of people who will draw portraits of people’s characters for free or gold. I’m sorry to say, but I feel like people who post things other than that get quickly side-staged due to the freelance art topics being updated constantly to notify when their “slots” are open.

Even if I’m wrong about the side-staging, regardless I really don’t feel the Fan generated content section should be used like that. I think it would benefit the freelance artists and those who aren’t if another forum section was made specifically for hired drawings.

So I was playing with this group on fractals, and only at the near end did I finally noticed the portrait of one of my allies..
….I nearly freaked.

Is anyone getting the situation where they’re getting so much of the same ascended rings from fractals that theyre actually taking up space in your bags and bank? I propose we get the option to dunk 4 random mystic rings into the mystic toilet so we can roll a random one and make space. I don’t want just destroy the ones I have; I don’t need them but I don’t want all that hard work and time going to waste!

Brother Grimm.5176:

Head North….you’ll find them.

Really? All I found was Canadians and Santa Clause…

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF TYRIA!!!

LOGAN THACKERY VS. RYTLOCK BRIMSTONE

BEGIN!!!

-Logan-
Here we go again, I gotta deal with this crap?
We fought with swords, now you wanna do a rap?
How many times I gotta say it, I didn’t ditch the gang.
Gods, you keep throwin this crap like a boomerang.
You wouldn’t understand, you don’t got a girl.
Cause you keep spitin’ grunts like you wanna hurl.
But then again, I see what the chick chars see:
You’re like a psycho who was featured on Dateline T.V.

-Rytlock
RAWR! HA HA HA! Very funny Logan!
Did your queen tell you that after you two were done smokin?
While you were bangin your queen, we were at the scene.
Don’t mind our battle, especially Snaff’s ugly DEATH SCREAM!
You used to be a bad kitten , since the days of the arena.
But you chose to replace your brother, and be the kitten’s little pita.
Who would’ve known that you’d act like you be.
I’m not like you Logan… I don’t think with my “D”!

-Logan-
Hey BRO! Let’s get something straight.
I wasn’t going on some freaking date!
The branded attacked and I had responsibilities.
The hell you think I am? Brad Pitt as Achilles?
The distances were far. I had to make a choice.
Either way, you think I was gonna freaking rejoice?
I’m getting tired of all your stupid dam crap.
So stop being a monkey, and GET OFF MY BACK!

-Rytlock-
You still don’t get it, you long-haired WHORE!
If we killed the dragon, we could’ve ended the war!
We trusted your shield, thought you had my back.
Instead you blinked to your queen… To get a needed fap!!
Though the past is the past, we can’t freakin change it.
So I’m not gonna kitten, and keep on complainin’ it.
But you broke a golden rule, that EVERY GUY KNOWS.
So let me say it clearly… BROS BEFORE HOES!!

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!

This one is for you ANET

With love,
Krisis1451

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF TYRIA!!

QUEEN JENNA VS SCARLET BRIAR

BEGIN!

-Scarlet-
Hello there Jenny! The name is Briar.
I invaded your kingdom. OPPS! Sorry bout the fire!
Your people are dead. I hope that’s okay.
Here, I brought you a treat! I hope you like FLAMBE’!
You look so silly! Dressed up like a fairy tale.
And you don’t wear shoes.
EW!!
Is that a freaking hang-nail!?

-Jenna-
Lords and ladies. Forgive me for the words I’m bout to speak.
I know its better to ignore and turn the other cheek.
But I’m about to rip this RED-HEADED kitten, RIGHT OUT LIKE A BEET!
Agony! Torment! Pain!
I’m Kryten royalty.

kitten!

When it comes to WAR-TIME, I’m the maid of the scene.
Ending harsh conflicts, with clones and gleams.
Your just an overgrown turnip, with a wilting complexion.
Not a mention a crazy kitten with dragon connection!

-Scarlet-
Sorry Jenny! That you’re an overgrown maid.
I mean, you’re what, double D and can’t get laid?
You must be sad as queen, all your people are sore.
What do those rebels call you? The cat-loving whore?
You fail as a queen.. ME? Three alliances easy!
And unlike you… I didn’t have to jerk someone sleazy!
Your boyfriend may be with you, but he’s so freakin useless.
Him kill a dragon? TEEHEE! He couldn’t kill Toothless!

-Jenna-
Hey, don’t you dis my man. At least I got one!
What you got? Dirty pirates, green lizards and short ones?
You may be a genius and an asura college member.
But your kitten was still owned… by a DUMB-BLONDE-MESMER!!
Seriously?
That doesn’t make sense.
It’s like your ending was written by the guy who made Sixth Sense.
Ya should’ve stayed in school and stayed with your mother.
And by the look of your skin…
Learn to use a freaking rubber.

-Scarlet-
Oh my Jenny!
Your so, so funny!
Though it’s a wonder why your dress like a playboy bunny!
You’re good with your speeches, and the big loud speakers.
But you keep on failing to wear a decent pair of sneakers.

-Jenna-
….

-Scarlet-
HEE HEE! What’s wrong Jenny?
Can’t take anymore?
Not surprising, coming from the Krytan whor—

horn sound raises

-Scarlet-
Huh?

-Jenna-
Let me write you story, little red one.
About a little annoying kitten from season one.
She tried to convince that she was different.
Learned all these things, but still ignorant.
She read little books
GOT LOADED UP
Got her brain all hooked
GOT LOADED UP
And when her drill ship got all
LOADED UP
They shoved a banner in her kitten and she got
LOADED UP.

-Scarlet-
….

-Jenna-
You-think-you’re-so-smart, but your just a DUMB WHORE!
When your portals get all taken, better lock your ship’s BACK DOOR!
While your tryin to get your general free, I got a million friends who’ll fight for me.
The cats and gnomes will ride with me.
Here’s your one true friend, rhyme’s done with me…

-Taimi-
Hey I’m Taimi kitten! You don’t remember me?
I’m your number one fan in alchemy!
In season one I was hardly in show. But can I get your autograph and—

-Scarlet-
[Field goal kick]

-Taimi-
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo——!!!! >O<

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!

With love,
KRISIS1451