Guild Wars 2

Jet.4795:

Cameron.2315:

celeron.3469:

Ljiona.9142:

Because they picked a server for the challenge rather than joining the band-wagon?

So now SoR has less players than JQ, got it.

You know JQ is full right ? To me that implies SoR has less players just saying SoR has never been full also

I think we got a lot more players during our T2 trip.

The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints accepts all into its open arms for fierce snuggles! PRAISE JEDSUS!

Jet.4795:

shortcake.8659:

You kittening kittens, all you kitten do is kitten kitten and then some kitten. You kitten must be so kitten about your kitten. Kitten you and everything about kitten, with a kittening kitten.

Kittens.

You need jedsus

Jedsus is all about the kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten!

PRAISE JEDSUS!

CuddleStrike.8215:

Hoots.9564:

CuddleStrike.8215:

Dese.1382:

Oh My where is BG? That’s embarrassing!

I do believe you met quite a lot of us inside our garrison… Or did you easily forget that? :P

Yeah, BG definitely had a large lagblob trying to hold that garrison. Was a very nice take on Waha’s part though, his guys always impress me when I play during Oceanic/Sea.

Not sure which fight you were at… but BG, SoR and JQ alll had nice blobs.

P.s.

Possibly PM before death so I can at least change my settings to show your beautiful snuggles.

Meanies… :P

They were actually just telling you to GO TO BREAD CUDDLES

Hoots.9564:

CuddleStrike.8215:

Dese.1382:

Oh My where is BG? That’s embarrassing!

I do believe you met quite a lot of us inside our garrison… Or did you easily forget that? :P

Yeah, BG definitely had a large lagblob trying to hold that garrison. Was a very nice take on Waha’s part though, his guys always impress me when I play during Oceanic/Sea.

You gotta be careful when JQ whips out its Waha!

PRAISE JEDSUS!

Liquid.9672:

Tonight reminded me of much I miss SF. Great fun tonight guys. Still one of the premier guilds in the game and always makes zoning into WvW fun. Thanks!

PRAISE JEDSUS!

The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints has always loved its KnTs too!

Ask cuddles what we call you! <3

Jahn.7019:

Dunno, close between JQ and BG.

JQ could probably de-seat BG depending on what Waha does.

As the Holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, I feel I should warn you that scary things happen when JQ whips out its Waha.

Dear his Papal Glory, Saint Mancus of the Malhavoc, we have finally returned to our home tier! After the questionable navigation of Captains Kelo of the Lady Seafoam Antonym and Thorich of the Red Seasniffer of the Proletariat extended our mission for 2 extra weeks, we finally happened upon the Jed Quarrian Cruiser, Beep Beep I’m a OIIIIO, captained by the renowned Rear Admiral General Colonel Sanders of the Deadly Frost. Our two Captains were so inept that when approaching the Beep Beep I’m a OIIIIIO, Captain Thorich nearly rammed the cruisers stern but fortunately, due to quick thinking, the Rear Admiral only ended up with a wet bow. Captain Thorich was immediately ordered to paddle home in a lifeboat claiming no home, oh, for about a week.

The welcome home celebration thrown for us was quite spectacular and we handed out many SF HUGS to our friends in SoR and BG, though we should probably offer medical assistance, as we have just come from a week of handing out the same hugs to the primitive tribes of Maguuma and their Maguumy Bears.

I would also like to request a brief respite from returning to my marriage counseling duties as I have found a new love for bringing the word of Jedsus Chris to those who need it most.

-Mons SFShinigami
PRAISE JEDSUS!

Attached:
Background: Captain Thorich on his way home
Foreground Right: Lady Seafoam Antonym
Foreground Left: Beep Beep I’m a OIIIIIO

(5 of 5)
It is on that day a glorious alliance was forged. The two men manned their mobile rams, the Alpha and Omega Golems, and laid siege to the city walls. For the first time the army of Running Loot Bags assembled as a single force, seeming to come from everywhere at once, swarming over the royal guard and anyone who stood in their way. King Waypoint was brought down that day and true to his word, there never again stood a Waypoint in the presence of the Mighty Waha, and never again could anyone resist someone who truly had the Justice of Waha in their fist.

And Potato? He Potated.

(4 of 5)
As the man closed the door, he gestured towards a chair that looked like it had been quite comfortable in another life, “Please, sit. My name is Waha, and I believe you can help me tear down this horrible city so that we may rebuild it for those who come after us.” Jedsus took took a seat, “Well, that is why I have come. Consuming my burning bush gave me a vision that indicated it would be my next great feat.” Waha nodded politely, “I am sure it did. Anyways, I have a problem. Here at Automated Tinkerers Machinations, we have developed two new prototype mobile rams. Unfortunately, we only have one pilot capable of operating them, myself, as the physical strain is quite large. I would like you to pilot the second suit in our glorious battle to free this city.” Jedsus, clearly intrigued, sitting on the edge of his seat responded, “I have been inside a lot of things, but never a, mobile ram as you say?” Waha nodded, “Yes, though Potato in his eternal Potato way likes to call them Golems.” Jedsus nodded back, “Hmmm. I may be willing to help you, this city is indeed in need of my great deeds, but I must know, what is it that drives you so, such that you have assembled such an operation?” Waha sighed, visibly upset as he was again confronted with his past, “This city, it is an evil city, inhabited by good honorable people. Our so called benevolent leader sucks it dry and kills anyone who opposes him. I am not originally from outside those great city walls. I was born into wealth, but the King had eyes that wandered, and they wandered in my mother’s direction. My mother, a great woman, would not succumb to his advances. My father, a great man, could not turn a blind eye. They were killed for their disobedience, but not after being left to wither away on display for everyone to see what happens to those who disobey the King. I was young, and escaped with my nursemaid who had also secreted away a few precious jewels. Potato and our fellow freedom fighters took us in and we have funded this operation with the heirlooms of my family. I will tear down this city, this Great Waypoint of the Desert. I will make King Waypoint and all of his kin, every Waypoint everywhere, pay for the suffering they have brought upon these people. No Waypoint shall ever again stand in my presence.” Jedsus, who has the attention span of a goldfish, suddenly realized Waha had stopped speaking and attempting to hide the fact that he hadn’t paid attention, sprang up from his seat, slammed his hand on the desk and cried, “GETTTTTTT SOOOMMMMEEEEEE!”

(3 of 5)
After several shortcuts and meandering paths which seemed to frequently double back on themselves, they reached a rather large, seemingly new building that somewhat resembled a warehouse. As they walked inside Jedsus could hear the clink and clank of what sounded like the work hundreds of people, yet all he could see was simply an empty warehouse. They continued walking and as they reached the door to what appeared to be the only room. Potato once again shouted out, “Haters gonna hate. Potato’s gonna potate!” The group stood quietly, waiting for a response and eventually the door slowly opened and a large, hulking, Adonis of a man walked out, also adorned with the same wings. The man circled Jedsus a few times, analyzing him. “Who is this man you have brought into our haven, Potato?” Potato smiled brightly, “He calls himself Jedsus Chris, and he too wishes to see our people freed.” At the mention of Jedsus’s name the man looked quickly at Potato and then back at Jedsus. “You mean to say that this is Lord Jedsus Chris, the 30 foot tall man who shoots ballista bolts from his eyes, has cannons for fingers and eats the hearts of the wicked as a light snack? No such man could ever exist.” Jedsus, who had cracked up laughing at the mention of his exploits, attempted to gather himself, “It is amazing that stories of my deeds have reached such a secluded city, but i believe they are exaggerated. I have never shot ballista bolts from my eyes, nor are my fingers cannons and I am not 30 feet tall.” The man waited a moment, “So you are saying you do eat the hearts of the wicked as a light snack?” Jedsus smiled awkwardly, “Well, I did once devour the souls of an invading army, I suppose that counts.” The man arched an eyebrow at Jedsus’s bravado, “Yes, I suppose it would. Please, step into my office, I wish to talk with you in private. Potato, you may return to your duties.”

(2 of 5)

One of the group stepped forward with a bold stride, “In this city it is dangerous to make oneself stand out, and nobody stands out more than the few visitors that ever manage to reach us.” Jedsus pointed to the now unconscious, barely breathing guards, “Is the entire city this way?” The young man briefly took on an air of sadness, then quickly covered it up again, “No, the city may have it’s sins, but there is honor amongst the people. Not all can stand up and fight, that is why we fight for them.” Jedsus slowly took in the motley crew assembled before him, “Forgive me, but I find it hard to believe such small numbers can protect so many.” The man glared angrily at Jedsus, poked him in the chest and said, “Haters gonna hate. Potato’s gonna potate.” Jedsus, never being one to make sense to strangers either, exhaled softly, “Forgive me, I have fought and won many such outnumbered battles myself. My name is Jedsus, Jedsus Chris, and I have come here to free this city.” The man, clearly taken aback responded, “Free this city? This city who has been kept under the thumb of its corrupt leaders for over a century?” The man began gesturing wildly and speaking with ever increasing volume,“That shall be quite an accomplishment considering it is we, the Running Loot Bags, who shall free this city!” There was a brief moment okittenward silence in which the man realized everyone was staring at him awkwardly. He looked around, slightly red in the face and spoke at a much more appropriate volume, “Well, anyway, my name is Potato, come with me, Jedsus, I wish you to meet our glorious leader.” The man and his company turned and began walking toward one of the notorious dark alleys, and Jedsus followed, eager for adventure.

(1 of 5)

As the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints and thusly, bringer of the word of Jedsus, I would like to share a story of one of our Lord’s many encounters, to help give a little background as to what the word of Jedsus can do for you. The story comes from the Book of Rainshadow, the Holy Scribe and Countess of the Isle of Sammich, Chapter 3,864:

As Jedsus entered the outskirts of the city, he saw upon it great pain and suffering. The citizens left to struggle in conditions not fit for beasts, much less man. The food being peddled was rotten at best, children ran about attempting to pick the pockets of passersby and it seemed like every few feet there was a shady transaction occurring in alleys so dark it seemed as if the alleys themselves were robbing the city of light. For hours Lord Jedsus walked the city streets, taking in the pain and making it his own, for he had heard stories of such a city, in which the populous suffered at the hands of their rulers, kept in place by the twelve day trek through barren desert that surrounded the city and the fortified walls that separated the citizens from their oppressors.

Eventually, Lord Jedsus reached the inner walls, yet he was so lost in his deep contemplative mindset that he appeared to simply run in place against the wall for many minutes, only finally interrupted when the city guard came upon him in their routine patrols and attempted intimidate him as if he was a normal citizen of the city. However, before he could react, a gang of winged young men and women leapt from the shadows and beat the guards into submission. Jedsus, impressed by the display of fighting prowess by the group crossed his arms, smiled and nodded approvingly, “Well, I do believe you have pushed their respective shi’s into their respective tins.”

Lenador.1436:

Sigh, SoS/DB/SOS thread so dead Q.Q im just gonna continue piggybacking here

All are welcome in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints!! Is there anything we can get you? Alcohol? Tobacco? Firearms?

Andy.9137:

jaycatano.6738:

Andy.9137:

if anyone would like to organize some 2v2’s or 3v3’s mail me in-game. NOT 1v1s

Why no love for 1v1’s?

IF ANOTHER GOD kitten PHANTASM/CONDITION MESMER/BLEED THIEF/PERMA STEALTH THIEF ASKS FOR A 1V1 AFTER HAVING HIS GROUP WIPED WITH 1:2 ODDS I’M GONNA START DEVELOPING TUMOURS IN MY HEAD. (or any other 1v1 cookie cutter builds)

that’s why!

Well, should you develop said tumors, I can hook you up with a GREAT end of life counselor. PRAISE JEDSUS!

Fuzzion.2504:

We have a nice Gift for the JQ NA players tomorrow.

Enjoy

PRAISE BE TO JEDSUS! Truly, Truly, you all have the spirit of Woks on Water in your hearts and the Justice of Waha in your fists!

SoPP.7034:

OK! Let’s forget the ppt and focus on the fights on the field!

The last few weeks we’ve faced off against FA and I gotta say you guys knuckle down and always bring the fights, so much so you even pulled DB down a notch Respect.

Hard week for Mags however I’ve seen some really coordinated play from you guys so far so I’m excited to see what can show us through out the week.

While the game focuses on ppt, that doesn’t mean we have to play that way. Now might be a good time for some guilds to dust off the cobwebs and set up some GvG.

Lets have some good fights!

PRAISE JEDSUS!

Dear his Papal Glory, Saint Mancus of the Malhavoc, I pray by the beard of Jedsus this message reaches you. Once again we have been sidetracked on our long journey home to the beautiful shores of Jed Quarry. Last week Captain Kelo of The Lady Seafoam Antonym marooned us in between the lands of Fort Aspenwood and Dragonbrand, and his excuses dripped with ulterior motives, now this week we find ourselves AGAIN marooned, this time at the hands of Captain Thorich of The Red Seasniffer of the Proletariat between Fort Aspenwood and Maguuma, though, to be honest I believe he is just after some Magswag #yolo420.

With each supposedly accidental crash our rebuilt ships get smaller and smaller and I begin to wonder if random chance will somehow prove more successful at returning us home than these recent converts who call themselves Captains. In the meantime, we will again snuggle the citizens of Fort Aspenwood fiercely, we have gotten to know many of them well, they are very receptive to the word of Jedsus Chris and upon our crash landing, some even joined our dance party. The Maguuma citizens, however, I have heard are a rambunctious lot, sneaking up on you in your sleep riding their Maguumy Bears to steal all your swag for themselves.

Once again the banner of The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints will pierce the heavens as it did upon the founding of church with the first Saint of Destruction, Lord Hoschi at the Great Eiffel Tower of Vegas and like before we shall not falter, and we shall not fail.

Jedmen.

Attached: Foreground: The Lady Seafoam Antonym, Background: The Red Seasniffer of the Proletariat

CuddleStrike.8215:

D:

JQ <3 another week without you all…….

JEDSUS WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US!?

As the holder of The Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, I would like to take this moment to apologize to our regular followers who so love to hear the words of our Lord and Savior, Jedsus Chris. Tonight the Sister Fisters were performing our weekly ritualistic atonement for our wins, led by High Priest Deadlyfrost, by chasing down two blasphemers, building all the things, getting crabs and jumping around like idiots for an hour and a half. When we finally rid ourselves of the crabs we realized that there was no room for us to continue our aggressive storytelling to the face so we granted ourselves a well deserved night off. To quote the book of Cue, “There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say. You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain.”

As the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, people often ask me where our savior, Lord Jedsus Chris, finds the strength to pull off the amazing feats he is so well known for, and I simply hand them a copy of the Book of Jedsus and refer them to the book where all of Jedsus’s childhood exploits are contained, the Book of Wrathern Chapter 8:

“There came a time in young Jedsus’s life in which his celestial origins began to separate him from the social circles of the other children his age. While the other children were busy with simple shapes and colors, Lord Jedsus Chris had already put forth a proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem, though nobody at the time knew the significance of this as nobody had even developed the use of exponents. As time passed, Lord Jedsus began to act out against his intellectual inferiors causing him to be sent home from school many times to be stabbed in the kidneys by his mother, though this too soon lost its effectiveness as he was Jedsus Chris and as such could regurgitate the damaged kidney as if he was a pez dispenser while growing a new one in its place. Eventually the misbehavior became too much and his mother, acting on the direction of his father, The Great Jed in the Sky, exiled young Jedsus to the Highest Mountain, telling him not to return until he had found his spinach. Jedsus packed his things, a relatively light load, and struck out onto the Highest Mountain with only the company of his sole friend and confidant, Nickcav. Twelve days into their journey, running low on supplies and nearly 2/3rds the way up the Highest Mountain, the two boys heard an earsplitting thundercrack, despite there be not but a single cloud in the sky. Startled, they both began scouring the area for the source of the sound, when it came to them again, this time in the form of a single lightning strike on a large bush nearby, which immediately was set ablaze. Jedsus, worried for the safety of all woodland creatures, unless he is eating them, immediately moved to extinguish the bush but this time was interrupted by a booming voice that seemed to come from everywhere around them. “Do not touch that burning bush, lest you wish to sacrifice all that I have to offer you!” Jedsus, never one to be intimidated sneered at the sky, “Who do you think you are, telling me what to do?” The voice responded, “It is I, your father, The Great Jed in the Sky, reeeeeeeeowwwwwwwwwwww ptptptpptptptpt, I directed your mother to send you here, to The Highest Mountain, so that you may receive that which is yours by birth.” Jedsus, having heard stories of his father, was humbled for the first time in many years, and moved to sit on a nearby rock next to an oddly bored looking Nickcav, who, due to his friendship with Jedsus, had ceased being amazed by anything years ago. After many long moments, Jedsus spoke again, “What is this birthright I am to possess father?” The booming voice, seeming to shake the foundations of the earth around them replied, “Take this burning bush and consume a single leaf whenever thou needst guidance. It shall provide you with all the direction you shall ever need in life.” Jed stood up and walked slowly over to the burning bush, which was actually producing no heat at all, and plucked a single leaf and placed it in his mouth. After a few moments and some slight coughing, Jedsus uprouted the bush, looked up and said, “Father, is there anything else you wish of me?” The voice answered, “No, be on your way to your mother, but remember, a great Spiderman once said, with great power comes great responsibility.” Jedsus nodded sagely and began his trek down the mountain. As Nickcav stood up to leave, however, the voice began again, “Young Nickcav, I also have a task for you.” The boy arched his eyebrow without saying a word. “It will be your duty in life to watch over Jedsus when he consumes the leaves of the holy burning bush, for while it brings him into an enlightened state, it also may put those around him at risk. There is a reason this is called The Highest Mountain. Do this, and you shall be remembered forever as The First Saint, Lady Nickarella of the Bush.” Nickcav, looking slightly perplexed at the change of his name, looked around wearily to make sure that no one was around to hear, nodded hesitantly then jogged after Jedsus to return home.

Blackelk.3784:

Calvin.5380:

Gellor.6497:

eithinan.9841:

Fuzzion.2504:

Congrats to JQ on their victory. The question now is, who will win second place? My money is on FA (by Money i mean 10silver, yes im poor)

Yeah gratz to JQ. I think the real question is, can EMP can come out from behind their zergs skirts and GvG NS. I’m not in that guild but I know I want to see the fight.

I don’t think EMP does GvGs

EMP figures so prominently in these forums. Are they the best guild on JQ, skill-wise?

We never claimed that, and we have a total of 3 members who visit the forms so hardly prominent, but all of JQs WvW guilds are quite skilled in their way and each is unique so to say one is better than the other is like saying apples are better than oranges. It is a matter of personal opinion, but personally I think of it as a balanced diet, each guild is unique and brings something to the table that makes JQ shine in WvW and as a community. No guild can stand as one its only when we come together as a server that we achieve great things.

PRAISE THE HOLY TRINITY! Jedsus Chris, Woks on Water and his Papal Glory Saint Mancus of the Malhavoc!

electriette.8952:

The great Quaggan King slammed down his scepter, foaming at the mouth as he bubbled over with rage. “WHOoooOOoo ARE YOOoooOO TooOOOoo ENTER MY COURT WITHOUT PERMISSION, LET ALONE SPEAK A SINGLE WORD TooOOOoo ME? COO"

Fix’d

Jedsus approves of your fix! Praise Jedsus!

As the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints it warms my heart to see so many aggressively seeking the words and deeds of our Lord and Savior, Jedsus Chris. Sometimes we cannot proselytize to each group fast enough and end up proselytizing both at once as their desire for Jedsus is so great! It is at times like this that I am reminded of the Holy Holiday of Pass-server, chronicled in the Book of Rainshadow, the Holy Scribe and Countess of the Isle of Sammich, Chapter 5:

The great Quaggan King slammed down his scepter, foaming at the mouth as he bubbled over with rage. “WHOoooOOoo ARE YOOoooOO TooOOOoo ENTER MY COURT WITHOUT PERMISSION, LET ALONE SPEAK A SINGLE WORD TooOOOoo ME? COO" The stranger removed his hat, handing it to a guard and began walking casually about the room, picking up objects, briefly analyzing them and then dropping them as if he had forgotten they even existed. “I am but a messenger of my Lord, Jedsus Chris and as such, obviously, I come bearing a message. You may call me Mr Pizza Cox, and I am here to tell you that my Lord wishes both you and the Krait Empress to each send your armies against him, as clearly one alone is not enough. If you do not sacrifice these armies on the altar of Jedsus, then come the new moon, Lord Jedsus Chris himself will lay siege to your most impressive underwater cities and likely, depending on his state of inebriation, write his name on the walls of each building using the blood of your firstborns.” The Quaggan King angrily tried to swat Mr Pizza Cox’s hand away from a precious vase, to which Mr Pizza Cox deftly evaded, as nobody is as good at getting in and out of a conflict than Mr Pizza Cox, then wiping the foam from his mouth, bellowing loudly so his entire court could hear, “WHAT SILLY MAN THINKS HE CAN TAKE ON THE MIGHTY QUAGGANS OF BAKONE, NOT EVEN THE KRAIT EMPRESS HERSELF HAS DARED CHALLENGE US IN OVER A CENTURY!” Mr Pizza Cox shrugged slightly as he walked back towards the door, grabbing his hat from the guard as he passed, “Well, do not say I didn’t warn you and I will add, should you ever hear the beckoning flirtation with glory that is Lord Jedsus Chris’s underwater battlecry, you would be best served by swimming away as fast as you can.” The Quaggan guard blocking the doorway, trembling slightly raised his arm halting the messenger, “and…and…what, pray tell, does this cry sound like?” The messanger arched his eyebrow slightly, evaluating the guard, “My dear sir, I shall only tell you once. It is the most terrifying sound you will ever hear, though you specifically will never hear it. I believe it goes something like…” he paused, coughed slightly and began again, “BOOP….BOOP….BOOP….BOOP.” Then, before anyone in the room could react, the messenger disappeared and reappeared in a blinding flash behind the guard and the guard fell to the ground dead, a single cut in his back, so deftly placed it could only be given away by the blood surrounding it. The messenger, having stowed his blade, tipped his hat and disappeared, never to be seen again.

The new moon came and went. The Lord, our Savior, Jedsus Chris, came and fulfilled his prophecy. It is said that to this day, in an attempt to bargain for their safety, Quaggan everywhere train themselves rigorously to suppress their deep-seeded anger, lest another such foolish King bring upon them such pain and anguish.

EDIT: ty Electriette

Lenador.1436:

SFShinigami.2015:

As the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints I find some of these accusations rather disturbing. Jed Quarry is actually the least zergy of the top 3 servers and home of the little ball of hate guilds that relish zerg busting. As it is written in Jedesis Chapter 1, verses 1-10:

In the beginning Jed created the havoc and the zerg. And the zerg was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Wok moved upon the face of the waters. And Jed said, Let there be fights: and there were fights. And Jed saw the fights, that they were good: and Jed divided the fights from the darkness. And Jed called the fights payday, and the darkness he called wiped. And the downing and the respawning were the first day. And Jed said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the zergs, and let it divide the zergs from the zergs. And Jed made the firmament, and divided the zerg which were under the firmament from the zerg which were above the firmament: and it was so. And Jed called the firmament the split zerg. And the downing and the respawning were the second day. And Jed said, Let the players under the split pin be gathered together unto one pin, and let the Commander appear: and it was so. And Jed called the first zerg the anvil; and the gathering together of the other players he called the hammer: and Jed saw that it was good.

T.T i shall burn your walls of text down with slander and lies, i have found conviction

The spirit of Woks on Water leads us all to our true purpose in life, whether we realize it or not. To quote the noble Friar Kylerien as he began his lonely journey in search of a cure for the harpies, never to be seen again, “Bless their little hearts.”

PRAISE JEDSUS!

As the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints I find some of these accusations rather disturbing. Jed Quarry is actually the least zergy of the top 3 servers and home of the little ball of hate guilds that relish zerg busting. As it is written in Jedesis Chapter 1, verses 1-10:

In the beginning Jed created the havoc and the zerg. And the zerg was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Wok moved upon the face of the waters. And Jed said, Let there be fights: and there were fights. And Jed saw the fights, that they were good: and Jed divided the fights from the darkness. And Jed called the fights payday, and the darkness he called wiped. And the downing and the respawning were the first day. And Jed said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the zergs, and let it divide the zergs from the zergs. And Jed made the firmament, and divided the zerg which were under the firmament from the zerg which were above the firmament: and it was so. And Jed called the firmament the split zerg. And the downing and the respawning were the second day. And Jed said, Let the players under the split pin be gathered together unto one pin, and let the Commander appear: and it was so. And Jed called the first zerg the anvil; and the gathering together of the other players he called the hammer: and Jed saw that it was good.

In light of recent topics of discussion, as the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, I feel it necessary to share with everyone the story of the creation of our Lord and Savior, Jedsus Chris.

Long ago, before Jed Quarry was Jed Quarry, there was a village known simply as “The Quarry.” The village was known for its open and neighborly atmosphere towards all visitors, sometimes to the point of becoming a major detriment to the well being of its residents. Then the great Jed unleashed upon the world, the soon to be mother of our Lord and Savior, Jedsus Chris, Tati the Terribad. Tati was extraordinary and unique in this quiet little town in which no strife was to be found. By the age of 6, young Tati had already stabbed at least 10 men in the kidneys for breaking various laws upon their visit to the city. By the age of 12, Tati formed the local militia and by 14 had led and won her first battle against a force of invaders 7 times the strength of her own. As she reached the age of adult hood, many men from villages farther away than she could imagine came seeking her hand and each was met with a series of trials that only guaranteed them each an audience with her Greatness. Few survived the trials. All who made it to the meeting left with heads hung low in shame, for there was no woman stronger, more beautiful and greater than Tati the Terribad. No man could best her and no man ever did. The Great Jed in the sky saw the works of this woman of the Quarry and knew that she alone was worthy of his progeny and so it was that the Jed came to Tati in her dreams and laid upon her her destiny, and Tati was with child. Tati never flinched from her duties until the day of her labor, when, for the first time the mighty Tati the Terribad knew pain, though she did not waiver. On this day our Lord and Savior Jedsus Chris was given to us, child of the mighty Tati the Terribad, son of the Great Jed in the sky. The birthing was no small feat, and truly could only have been survived by Tati as upon birth Lord Jedsus Chris weighed a massive 18lbs and was 30 inches tall, had chewed off his own umbilical cord and spanked the midwife when she attempted to spank him. As time went on, we all know the deeds of our Lord and Savior Jedsus Chris, but more importantly, Tati’s legacy continues to be passed down to the women of the Quarry. As it says in the Book of Rainshadow, the Holy Scribe and Countess of the Isle of Sammich, Chapter 3,839:

Jedsus looked down upon the broken man that lie before him, a victim of his own vanity, and said unto him, "Thou should remember this lesson well. The men of the Quarry boast the largest rams of all men, but the women of the Quarry boast rams that make all cower in fear.

As the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, it is my duty to bring the word of Lord Jedsus Chris himself to those who have not heard of his deeds, but it is also my duty to aid others in any way possible, and that includes settling disputes. Today, while bringing the word of Jedsus to those on DB BL, it became clear that both FA and DB wanted the same things, bay and then later, garrison. As a means to finding a happy middle for everyone, I would like to offer this tale, it comes to us from the Book of Rainshadow, the Holy Scribe and Countess of the Isle of Sammich, Chapter 84,958:

There came a time in which The Chosen People, the true followers of Jedsus Chris, came to rule the land of Folenn, and none that ever ruled was as wise-kitten as that of Ravanaz. While majestic and rich in sweat pants, the land of Folenn was none-the-less small, and Ravakittenn a drunken lulz spree, abolished the court system, taking it upon himself to solve every citizens problems. As a result of this divinely inspired drunken decision making, a slightly less intoxicated Ravanaz began mediating the problems of the citizenry himself and it is as a result of this system, King Ravanaz became known as Ravanaz the Bloody. There came a day in Ravanaz’s rule, in which his most trusted developer of siege weaponry, Dr. Stormy Einstein Super Wilson VI, founder of the the Wilsonian Institute of Technology, approached him humbly, wife in tow, offering his resignation. King Ravanaz, disturbed by the potential loss of the greatest scientific mind the world had seen in ages, stood slowly and began pacing side to side. “Lord Wilson, does not thy work satisfy you? Have I not provided thou with ample resources for thine, for lack of a better term, eccentric experiments? Have I not provided you and your lovely wife Mindy with a nice hidey house and kitty cat?” Dr. Wilson, looking briefly over his shoulder at his wife paused briefly to gather his thoughts. “King Ravanaz, sire, thou have been more than generous with resources, but as I am approaching becoming an old man, I find I wish to spend my old age with my family.” King Ravanaz, having not missed the very noticeable glance, continued pacing through the room, analyzing the situation. After several moments had passed, he stopped and glared down at the humble Doctor and said, “I wonder, Dr. Wilson, how I might solve this problem.” Dr. Wilson, looking slightly perplexed responded, “To what problem do you refer, sire?” The King, taking a few steps towards Dr. Wilson responded, “Well, I cannot possibly bear to lose such a genius and the services he provides to his country, that is simply unacceptable, nor should I prevent a man from being Mindy’d by his loving and doting wife. Therefore, I believe I only have one solution.” Dr. Wilson, perplexed at what other possible option there might be tilted his head and watched as the King began pacing once more. The King continued, “Clearly, the lovely Mindy claims you as her own, and wishes you to do as she bids, and clearly, I, ruler of this land, also claim you as my own, and wish you to do as I bid. Therefore, you shall be cut in two equal parts, with each party retaining an equal share.” Just as the King finished issuing his decision, he unsheathed his sword and cleaved the good Dr. Wilson in two and the problem was solved forever, cementing King Ravanaz’s future title, Ravanaz the Bloody.

From that day forward, the divinely inspired solution was applied in many mediation proceedings by those representing the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints. If two parties claim possession of something, neither will be able to retain it, and as history indicates, it usually becomes property of the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints.

May Jedsus be with you all, Jedmen.

Dear Jedsus, who art in Heather, Shallow be thy game. Our journey to bring your solemn word to the savage peoples of Tarnished Coast and Fort Aspenwood has thus far been quite successful. The native peoples were very receptive to your adventures and the lessons you have taught us through them. However, our journey to return to our native tier has taken an unexpected and potentially fortuitous turn. This eve, expecting to land on the glistening shores of the Holy Land of Jed Quarry, we instead find ourselves crashed and marooned in a land already mired in battle between the peoples of Fort Aspenwood and Dragonbrand. It seems your glorious name has preceded us, presumably through our recent converts in FA, as immediately upon our arrival the people of DB were literally breaking down our walls to hear tell of your fantastic deeds. Again and again they would return for more tales, the damage they have done to the walls of the bay we now find ourselves in was so extensive that we had to utilize the wreckage of The Holy Flagship, The Lady Seafoam Antonym and her sister ship The Red Seasniffer of the Proletariat. The upcoming days shall be difficult and filled with aggressive story telling to the face, but as the banner of The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints still pierces the heavens the same way you, Lord Jedsus did upon the founding of this church with the first Saint of Destruction, Lord Hoschi at the Great Eiffel Tower of Vegas, we shall not falter, and we shall not fail.

Jedmen.

RoninDB.9540:

The heretics and the blasphemers shall be taken from the land of TC, so sayeth the Charr Jezus. His avenging ArchAngel of Icy Death shall come in the form of a death shroud and rain torment on his enemies. The land shall be cleanesed, his people healed, and the names of the almighty trinity of power, the Golem God, Charr Jezus, and the Holy Golden Dolyak shall be forever on his people’s lips. As stated in The First Book of Commandments of the Church of Charr Jezus, “thou shall not hoist on Sunday or worship false gods and prophets.”

Be gone defilers! Thou has brought a plague of rats on our land! The land stinks of fruity pies and apple cider ales. This display of outright defiance for the Church of Charr Jezus shall not be tolerated, not until all in the land have Yaks Bend Ale and cookies.

As the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, it places a heavy burden upon my heart to read this message as Lord Jedsus Chris brings a message of inclusion, acceptance and funny sounds.

Do not fret, though, fair citizens of the Tarnished Coast and followers of this “Charr Jezus” as Our Lord and Savior Jedsus Chris is indeed a CHARR and it is clear that while the message of this “Charr Jezus” may differ and has been corrupted over time, in reality, thou hast been worshiping our one true Lord and Savior, Jedsus Chris!

PRAISE THE HOLY TRINITY! JEDSUS CHRIS, WOKS ON WATER AND HIS PAPAL GLORY SAINT MANCUS OF THE MALHAVOC!

Achilles.2197:

I think Sovereign has heard the words of Jedsus and wishes to convert his practices to the Holy Church of Saturday Feints.

JQ welcomes you.

PRAISE JEDSUS!

Jedsus looked upon the carnage, clearly intoxicated from his ambrosia, realizing that none of the caravan of dolyaks had survived, and that they had likely perished to the forces of Wondo of the Bonks, he shrugged and once again, yelling the all too familiar phrase, “GEEEEET SOOOMMMMEEEE” the Holy Knights fell upon the corpses of the Dolyak they had risked their lives to protect, filling their bellies with the delicious meat and the cargo of cookies. It is even said that the ERP dialogue had disappeared, never to be seen, nor spoken of, again as no one would claim possession of it.

Clearly, this story, displaying Lord Jedsus Chris’s great love for succulent juicy meat, should be a lesson to everyone.

Don’t mess with Wondo.

(Also, sorry for the length, I wanted to try and capture all of the dolyak parade)

Jedsus let out a hearty bellow, “Bahahaha! Mah Dolyak! Men! Place upon thineselves the pelts contained within the cargo! We have discovered a new quest! This caravan is approaching the most treacherous leg of its long journey and its cargo of cookies and ERP dialogue must reach its destination!” The men adorned themselves with the pelts, belonging to many different sizes and colors of dolyak as well as a scattering of moose and bull and ventured forth into the great beyond.

The journey continued for many days before any resistance was found and upon the 5th day, on the horizon from which the caravan came, there appeared a mighty force, easily 100 strong. Lord Jedsus, still in disguise rallied his Holy Knights at the end of a bridge, preparing for the oncoming horde which seemed to crackle with anticipation at the potential feast of unguarded Dolyak before them. The horde surged forward, and Lord Jedsus said unto his disciples, “GEEEEEET SOOOMMEEEE” and the Holy Knights of the Order of the Dax threw off their disguises and bravely stood their ground cutting down many of the onrushing savages, but their numbers slowly dwindled under the enemy’s superior numbers. As the horde climbed over the dead of their fallen, as if they nothing more than silk scraps, a great, crazed laughter was heard in the distance. Bewildered, all but the great Lord Jedsus himself, who seemed to have taken a break to drink of his ambrosia, searched the area for the source, and the voice Kz the Molder of Clay, broke the silence, “UPON THY YONDER ROCK!” All eyes turned to the large rocky formation as the head of a dolyak appeared, but this was no ordinary dolyak, no, it mysteriously seemed to be shifting in color as it stood gazing out over the battle. The crazed laughter was heard yet again, seeming to come from everywhere at once, the dolyak took on a sinister grin and as soon as the laughter ended, with more heads cresting the tip of the rocky formation, but just the tip, the dolyak disappeared, shown to be nothing more than a disguise, revealing Wondo of the Bonks, who had set forth upon her own journey many months prior, clearly having brought the word of Jedsus Chris to many a lost soul. In her best imitation of Talon von TalonTalonTalonTalon she let forth a cry while still laughing maniacally, “RAAAAAAAAMPAAAAAAAAGE!” The reinforcements swelled out to the sides and pushed forward, streaming into the battle unleashing carnage of the magnitude that has not been seen since The Great Mythic Magestorm. It seemed that as quickly as the reinforcements had arrived, the battle had ended with many casualties, having reduced the Holy Knights from a force of 15 to a humble squad of 15.

Fellow JQ, FA and TCers, today I, the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, one again come to you simply with the solemn words and deeds of our Lord and Savior Jedsus Chris in the hopes that it too brings you to an enlightened state of sweat pants that so many of us in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints enjoy on almost a constant basis. Today’s tale comes to us once again from Chronicles of Calpurnia (chapter 17):

The battles have been fierce, and Jedsus was weary with fatigue and cottonmouth, he climbed slowly from the river, throwing a rock to distract a nearby Marsh Drake, and signaled to his Holy Knights to emerge as well. The Order of the Dax, a battalion once 15 strong, had been reduced to a meager 15 through its many sieges and battles, but what remained was more than a simple 15 Sister Fisters, as many had recently achieved a state of rampage that had previously thought unimaginable, redeeming them from a state of unsustainability. Jedsus climbed the banks to a row of trees and ordered one of his most trusted lieutenants to survey the area. The lieutenant, the wise yet often ignored Talon von TalonTalonTalonTalon in what was documented as his first of many miracles, blinked instantly to the top of the tallest tree, as surely all would have thought this would have been an impossible feat of wonky teleportation mechanics, and shouted with his gruff Charr glee, “LORD JEDSUS! UPON THE HORIZON, A CARAVAN OF MULTICOLORED, PACKAGE WIELDING DOLYAK!” Hearing such news the Holy Knights immediately took up arms in hungry anticipation as their last meal had been many days ago, consisting of the few pounds of quaggan bacon they had managed to obtain from a sketchy Choo Choo Train conductor. Jedsus looked out upon his disciples, sensing their anticipation being held in check only through the sheer strength of his presence, “NO! NO, my children! We shall not feast upon these brave Dolyak, for I have heard stories in my head of a great Dolyak caravan that brings cookies and erotic role playing to this land of the Tarnished Coast! Let us bring the word of the great ME to this herd and in their travels, they too shall spread the word of the Jedsus Chris!” The group rallied and trekked onward, despite the fact that many clearly thought their Lord had gone insane with hunger, as Dolyak cannot speak. Several hours later, or 15 seconds if out of character, the two groups met. As the caravan came to a halt, a Dolyak several times larger than the rest emerged and entered into a fierce stare-down with our Lord. Many long moments passed with not but a word from either party when the lead Dolyak let out a snort, turned and kneeled offering the packages on his back.

The word of Jedsus Chris touches us all in very different ways, but they are all good touches.

Fellow JQ, FA and TCers, today I, the holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, come to you simply with the solemn words and deeds of our Lord and Savior Jedsus Chris in the hopes that it too brings you to an enlightened state of confusion that not even the best condition cleansing could remove. This tale comes from Chronicles of Calpurnia, chapter 12.

And Lo Jedsus said unto them “LET THERE BE RATS!” and he looked upon the works of His Papal Glory, Saint Mancus of the Malhavoc who responded, “Kitten please, I’ve got more RATS then you would know what to do with!” In celebration The Jedsus drank deeply of his ambrosia and began speaking the sacred words that it is said can only be understood by someone who truly has the spirit of Woks On Water in their heart and the Justice of Waha in their fist, “I am a Jed fighter pilot, the force is strong with me REEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWW PT PT PT PT PT PT PT PT PT.” Several long moments passed, with only the most novice of the monks, ministers and nuns allowing a slightly disturbed, crazed look to pass over their face and finally Lord Jedsus Chris broke the silence, rising swiftly to his feet with a grin wider than the great Gulf of Thorton in the land of Commies, he bellowed with childish glee and exuberance, “GEEEEET SOOOMEEEEEE.” The gathered disciples of Jedsus bowed almost imperceptibly, turning slowly, then ran screaming in bloodlust from the cave, left to spend the next fortnight in deep meditation, binge drinking and in a constant state of sweat pants.

The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints performing the last rights on a recent convert at JQ BL N camp. The rights take quite awhile so his corpse was there for ages!

Mance.5640:

he Kurzicks are very religious and most of what they do revolves around their practice of worship of the True Gods and their saints. The different houses, whether part of the Great Houses or not, all have a different characteristic among the members of the house. All of the characteristics of the houses are based on the idea of art, music, and religion. The Kurzicks are also focused on preserving and restoring the Echovald Forest to how it was before the Jade Wind. This includes the creation of wards and stone guardians that defend the Kurzicks against the monsters, unless they are not maintained – in which case the wards will simply fail and the stone guardians will become hostile. The spells are by the House zu Heltzer. Along with the House zu Heltzer’s wards and protections, the House Lutgardis is “able to reinvigorate the forest through song” as said by the Historian of Houses.

I blame this Jedsus stuff! Now we are Kurzick somethings!

As Pope Saint Mancus of the Malhavoc you should know very well that Jedsus does not judge! As it is written in the Letter of BESTFRIEND<3 to the Tranny Victoria in Absentia , “He who hath judge another’s bedpost notches shall be forever haunted by diseased….something that rhymes with notches, yus”

Fuzzion.2504:

Mance.5640:

Our Prime Minister serves a life long term.

Let us not forget the others

Mance for JQ president.

Jed for JQ jesus!

Stei for Minister of Communication

Cuddlestrike for JQ princess

Waha for Minister of foreign affairs of JQ

Only on Jed Quarry can you be both the Pope and the President! PRAISE JEDSUS!

zhonnika.1784:

SoPP.7034:

Want a laugh? Go read the BG/SoR/DB thread. (Warning: 90% posts are from BG and SoR).

Oh, trust me. I know. Those two need to either punch each other to death, or make out. Maybe both.

Mother Superior, please do not encourage such relationship dysfunction to those The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints is trying to counsel!

Today The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints opened its garrison up today to the hoardes of TC banging on the gates and walls to hear the good word of Jedsus Chris! Many bag donations were made and much partying was had! Please come again TC and the few FA who briefly visited as well!

CuddleStrike.8215:

SFShinigami.2015:

Speaking as The holder of the Missionary Position, of which I have held for some time as I enjoy this Missionary Position, the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints greatly encourages the in depth study of cross species snuggling habits as evidenced by that being my head peeking up watching them.

GO TO BREAD SHINI!

also we had another word for where you were sleeping on that bed if you don’t recall our ts convo. …….

The holder of the Missionary Position in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints says a lot of things he does not remember nor often condone. As Jedsus once said in the book of Tali the Disagreeable to MadHatter The Friendly, “Thou which holds wasted friends to their word, is going to get flipped the bird.”

Speaking as The holder of the Missionary Position, of which I have held for some time as I enjoy this Missionary Position, the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints greatly encourages the in depth study of cross species snuggling habits as evidenced by that being my head peeking up watching them.

The Missionary Position of Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints had a very long day commanding JQ BL for about 9 1/2-10 hours in a long marathon of missionary work, desperately trying to maintain 3 waypointed keeps so we may more efficiently bring the good word of Jedsus Chris to TC and FA. Many Booble Studies were had, and it was good, so I leave you all with the wisdom of Jedsus himself.

The Gospel of Jedsus, from the book of Calm Little Buddy to the Quarrians, chapter 2 verse 1, “When Thou dost toketh, enemy kitten will be broketh!”

Praise Jedsus!

Clockradio.3257:

SFShinigami.2015:

Dear Jedsus,

Day 2 of The Holy Missionary Expedition to the land of Tarnished Coast we have set upon under the order of his Papal Glory, Saint Mancus the Malhavoc, has been a treacherous one with so few open hearts and open minds and many take up arms against us. However, there is yet hope. A city we have discovered called Divinity’s Reach, despite it’s roaming gangs of pyromaniacs, is also filled with many a person willing to listen to the word of Jedsus Chris and his Woks On Water, though their methods confuse me as after the numerous hours spent in their presence they seem to demand compensation of some sort. Being of the cloth, I carry no currency, but I will venture on, for the glory of The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints!

You certainly had no issues pillaging SoR and BG… You must have expensive taste to have blown all that gold already.

It is not Jed Quarry’s, nor the fault of the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints that SoR and BG CLAIM to be so easily parted from their gold.

Any monetary sum donated through the free will of said persons is quickly and efficiently funneled through to our various charitable organizations

• Ben Sheets’ Pitching Camp for Orphans of Orphaned Norn
• Ravanaz’s Hunting lessons for Havoc-Challenged Sylvari
• His Papal Glory Saint Mancus of the Malhavoc’s Missionary Position(Currently Filled)
• Im Not A Commander’s Instructional video series on Instructing How to Command
• Stei’s Bimonthly Curious Charr Speed Dating events
• Waha’s Wild and Wacky Wollercoaster and Water Wonderwand (All profits funneled back into previously mentioned charities).

For more information about how you can help others through the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, or how it could help you, please contact Mother Superior, her Grace, Zhonnika.

Dear Jedsus,

Day 2 of The Holy Missionary Expedition to the land of Tarnished Coast we have set upon under the order of his Papal Glory, Saint Mancus the Malhavoc, has been a treacherous one with so few open hearts and open minds and many take up arms against us. However, there is yet hope. A city we have discovered called Divinity’s Reach, despite it’s roaming gangs of pyromaniacs, is also filled with many a person willing to listen to the word of Jedsus Chris and his Woks On Water, though their methods confuse me as after the numerous hours spent in their presence they seem to demand compensation of some sort. Being of the cloth, I carry no currency, but I will venture on, for the glory of The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints!

As an Ordained Minister & Marriage Counselor in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints it has come to my attention that following last weeks incident in which JQ whipped out its Waha and the subsequent scuffle between BG and SoR that this weeks appointmenet has been cancelled, likely to be rescheduled for next week. While clearly not the ideal situation to improve this relationship, these things do happen and I wish the couple a happy week off from counseling!

Snuggle everyone fiercely!

Clockradio.3257:

SFShinigami.2015:

As an ordained Minister & Marriage Counselor in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints I have taken leave from counseling the tumultuous marriage of BG and SoR and taken on some missionary work. So, TC and FA, have you heard the good word of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints? Have you experienced what it truly means to accept Woks on Water into your heart? His Papal Glory, Saint Mancus the Malhavoc welcomes any potential new followers to the Holy Church!

Also, with my [LOVE] hat on, Snuggle everyone fiercely!

HI CUDDLES!

Hello TC and FA, I am writing this as a warning to you the the Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints is nothing more than a pyramid scheme. Both BG and SoR have paid exorbitant sums of gold to this “Church” in good faith thinking that they had a system that could improve our relationship. SoR just woke up in a bathtub full of ice, and we think our kidney is missing. BG has a broken jaw, and their all the gold fillings in their teeth are missing (and even some teeth). If that wasn’t bad enough, we have found evidence that they somehow now have the deed to our home, and titles to all of our vehicles. Now we find out that the church has completely abandoned us.

SoR and BG are now poor and homeless because of this farce, and our relationship is worse than ever. Heed my warning.

Dear Clockradio:

This CEASE AND DESIST ORDER is to inform you that your persistent actions including but not limited to the continued harassment of the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints have become unbearable. You are ORDERED TO STOP such activities immediately as they are being done in violation of the law.

The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints have the right to remain free from these activities as they constitute harassment, and the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints will pursue any legal remedies available to it against you if these activities continue. These remedies include but are not limited to: contacting law enforcement to obtain criminal sanctions against you, and suing you civilly for damages the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints have incurred as a result of your actions.

Again, you must IMMEDIATELY STOP harassing the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints and send written confirmation that you will stop such activities. You risk incurring very severe legal consequences if you fail to comply with this demand.

This letter acts as your final warning to discontinue this unwanted conduct before the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints pursues legal actions against you. At this time, Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints is not contacting the authorities or filing civil suit against you, as the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints hopes we can resolve this matter without authoritative involvement. The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints is not under any circumstances, however, waiving any legal rights it have presently, or future legal remedies against you by sending you this letter. This order acts as ONE FINAL CHANCE for you to cease your illegal activities before the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints exercises its rights.

Sincerely,

Mons. SFShinigami

As an ordained Minister & Marriage Counselor in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints I have taken leave from counseling the tumultuous marriage of BG and SoR and taken on some missionary work. So, TC and FA, have you heard the good word of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints? Have you experienced what it truly means to accept Woks on Water into your heart? His Papal Glory, Saint Mancus the Malhavoc welcomes any potential new followers to the Holy Church!

Also, with my [LOVE] hat on, Snuggle everyone fiercely!

HI CUDDLES!

Mance.5640:

Ward/Prx is just a bandwagon guild looking to recruit from SoR’s high pop NA. Prx went “unofficial” so they started WARD for the players that stayed. WARD has some great players and fun people, but the same drama llama leadership. With Agg outshining them on the field they need fresh pastures to be the center of attention and recruit to keep their guild alive.

How they sold their guild on the whole “we’re going to move to SoR because the fights will be better during NA prime” thing IS magical though. SoR and BG have actually helped JQ NA attract some guilds in our time as we’re historically out numbered during NA. I don’t think any SoR NA want or need more guilds. But we understand you have no control over who joins your server and who does not. They aren’t one of our “glue” guilds so JQ NA will be just fine. They’ll mostly be in que or trying to recruit in LA so we won’t really be seeing them to much.

Sorry about the kitten in the punch bowl there SoR. We’ll 2v1 BG in NA for a day on purpose to make it up to you. "p

PRAISE THE TRINITY! JEDSUS CHRIS, WOKS ON WATER AND HIS PAPAL GLORY SAINT MANCUS OF THE MALHAVOC!

As an ordained Minister & Marriage Counselor in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, it saddens me to report that SoR and BG have hit a new low in their relationship and little JQ is left to suffer. The custody agreement has BG taking in Sarah Evelyn Alana and SoR taking in the little slugger Nathan Alan. SEA and NA will still see the other parents every so often, but it wont be the same, no, not at all. These tumultuous relationships only ever seem to hurt the little ones.

Also, update with a snuggly WARD!

As an ordained Minister in the Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints, I made the fateful weekly trek into the unknown to bring the curse words of our Lord and Savior, Jedsus Chris, to the savage masses of BG and SoR. To my surprise SoR was very willing to listen, for almost 3 hours we held Jedsus Worship in SoR Garrison with a Wokshop on Woking on Water as well!