Hello good peoples of SoS and TC! I have returned from many days of forced meditation to once again bring you the word of our Lord and Savior, Jedsus Chris. The battles, bags and blitzes were all spectacular tonight but one such fight in the lord room of SM reminded me of a story I’d like to share with you all from the Book of Rainshadow, the Holy Scribe and Countess of the Isle of Sammich, Chapter 84,959, a follow up on a previous chapter chronicling the story of King Ravanaz the Bloody and Dr. Stormy Einstein Super Wilson VI, founder of the the Wilsonian Institute of Technology:
Many months and absurd court decisions later, much of the populous had come to resent their King’s interpretation of the word of Jedsus and the situation finally came to a boil when King Ravanaz…in what was a real shocker, declared the national finger and color to be the pinky and brown respectively, and the dissidents instead preferred a combination of the pointer and middle finger and the color pink. The resulting civil war lasted for 6 weeks before it finally came to a head in King Ravanaz the Bloody’s throne room.
The King, protected only by 30 of his elite guard was keeping thrice their number of dissidents at bay with the lord room gates, though it was obvious that it was only a matter of time before the enemies superior numbers, continually colliding against the gate, would eventually make it fall. Just as all seemed lost, King Ravanaz fell to his knees and cried out, “LORD JEDSUS! HELP ME IN MY MOST DIRE HOUR AND I WILL CONQUER AND PILLAGE IN YOUR NAME UNTIL THE DAY I DIE!” The king’s cries echoed through the chamber as the continual sound of the dissidents colliding against the gate grew louder and more frequent until finally the gate burst open and the enemy forces spilled into the room. The elite guard surrounded their King, prepared to give themselves to Jedsus to protect him, and one by one, did they fall until only 10 remained with the King. It is in this moment when Jedsus Chris chose to beget his guidance upon his people. A booming voice, that could only be heard by King Ravanaz and his men, began directing battle movements, leading the soldiers throughout the room in a glorious slaughter of the dissidents. Five minutes later, all that remained were the surviving 10 Elite Guardsmen and King Ravanaz himself. As the guardsmen sheathed their weapons, the voice took on a much more cautionary tone. “Ravanaz, you are a faithful follower and have brought much glory to my name as you protect my chosen people, but there is more to leading than issuing orders. I have no preference as to which finger should be the national finger, nor which color should represent my people. Sometimes I like 2 fingers with the color pink, but other times I could see brown with the pinky working too. Shockingly, I could see them all used at once and it wouldn’t change what my word represents. This is the lesson you must learn. I will leave you now. Guide my people as the true King you were meant to be.” With that the voice ceased and the King once again sat upon his throne.
Many days later, the King declared an end to all trivial representations of Jedsus’s will and declared the anniversary of the day the great battle occurred to be a national holiday, for who other than our Lord and Savior, Jedsus Chris, could lead an epic defense of a castle lord room without actually being there.
Jigglenaut/Numa Rar/Jakuho Raikoben/Tenel Ka Djo/Kurotsuchi Taichou [SF]/[LOVE]
All Hail CuddleStrike! Undisputed Empress of Tier 1!
Controlled by CuddleStrike!
